That's wonderful to hear. sounds like you've created the right environment for this kids to slowly gain confidence. Good job.
No U7 game this weekend, but my U5's team (U6 coed) had a game against a very good all-boys U6 team. I'm pretty sure they were hand-picked, because they were all very fast and had learned both offensive and defensive spacing. Not that they had to play defense very much -- I think it was something like 30-2 (score isn't kept, and I didn't count). Ouch.
Had a pretty good game yesterday, which we lost 3-4 in the final minutes. The biggest thing of note was that about 15 minutes into the game, I turned around and had a few words with one of the other team's moms. I know I shouldn't have, but she had been moaning loudly since the opening whistle "They're all pushing; look at them, they're shoving our players; etc., etc." Everyone on the sideline could hear her loud and clear, and I'm sure a lot of the kids could as well. I finally couldn't take any more when one of my boys was dribbling, their player came in to tackle the ball away and of course they both went tumbling. Neither pushed each other - just a hard challenge of not-so-coordinated 7 year olds. And of course, she starts in again with the "He pushed him down!" I just couldn't take it anymore, and didn't want her badmouthing our players anymore. I believe I was careful not to be overly aggressive, snotty, or in any way foul-mouthed, but I let her know that she was mistaken and the boys (on either side) were not pushing one another, just challenging as best they could at their age, which is part of the game of soccer. "I know about soccer - I have another boy on the travel team," she said. I wanted to say, "I feel sorry for him", but limited myself to something like "I'm sure you must be proud of him" or something. I spoke to the other coach about it later, as we both know each other (we're getting ready to hold tryouts together for a tournament team), and he says a week doesn't go by that she isn't moaning about something. Glad as hell she's not on my team, though if she were, I'd have probably straightened her out myself early on.
I had to get up and walk away from our sideline today. I couldn't take the parents coaching all of the kids lucky enough to be on our side of the field. Or the shouting. I know I've had a tough time moving from being his coach to being just a parent. But I am really glad that I keep my mouth shut except to be a cheerleader after something happens on the field. I know the coaches appreciate being on the other side of the field...
Well, coaches 1/2 are on vacation this week, so I get to run practice for both teams tomorrow. It was nice of them to give me 24-hours notice! (seriously -- normally I would just show up and they wouldn't be there). The other weird thing is that because of all the cancellations, we now have 5 games in the span of about 10 days, and so this may well be the last practice.
Today was the best practice of the season. I had both teams together (11 kids total, today plus a couple of extra kids who play with us during the fall season) since coaches 1&2 were gone. Since coach #1's team has some kids who have discipline problems, I was a little concerned that I wouldn't be able to control all of them. So, the strategy was to keep everyone engaged the entire time so they couldn't pick on each other -- and it worked pretty well. I know, I know -- this is basic stuff. But, despite my urgings, the "head coaches" have always left half the kids or more waiting around while just a couple of kids are doing something. It's really tough to manage kids when they are standing around doing nothing. So... I dug up every soccer ball I could find, to ensure (for once) that everyone would be able to work with their own ball. We did variations on "red light / green light" that work on dribbling and keeping their heads up. We did a running / passing game with cone "gates" that they really like. Then rapid 2v2, 3v3, 4v4 variants, and finally a scrimmage. At the end, they were all dead tired, but still wanted to play more. My two biggest "discipline problem" kids were mostly engaged. A couple of times they wanted to sit out, so I didn't force the issue. They joined back in when they were ready. All in all, it went way better than I expected.
Sounds good. I think you're right on the money with the goal of keeping them all engaged--having kids standing around waiting for their turn is not only a waste of time but, at younger ages, a recipe for discipline and focus breakdowns. One minor quibble--and this obviously isn't within your control--why aren't all the kids bringing their own ball to practice? The other coaches should have made that an iron-clad rule. You shouldn't have had to scramble to make sure you had enough balls for everyone.
Thanks, bigred. Well, that is a question to which I wish I knew the answer. Believe me, I've tried to encourage it, but am powerless to enforce anything. Essentially, these two folks have shown no desire to grow as coaches: to learn coaching techniques or how to deal with kids. It actually started out okay, but as time has progressed the kids have started to pay less attention and are not learning anything new (they are becoming bored doing the same old things)-- it's been a long, slow spiral downward. We've offered up resources for these two to learn more about how to do a better job, but so far I'm the only one who has been to any sort of clinics, read any books, etc. But, they won't listen to anyone. They've lost a couple of kids each of the last couple of seasons, and after this season I think they've lost just about everyone. I was very close to pulling my daughter before this season, and in hindsight I should have. But, I spoke with the coaches and was reassured that things would be different this season blah blah blah, and they were right -- it was different, but worse! At this point, if I suggest something, they do the opposite. Anyway, it's about 1-2 more weeks, and that will be the end of that. I am still trying to work out a way to salvage the soccer experience for the rest of the kids -- don't know what to do about that, yet. What a disaster.
I've never understood that one myself - some parents just don't get it. I mean I understand forgetting it now and then, but either never bringing it or just not having one? So as a coach, your choice is to either have some kids suffer or to provide enough balls. I'd get a new ball each season and make it the game ball. I would then take the old game ball and put it in my practice pool. I had one kid tell me his was chewed up by a dog and that was it for the season. I gave him a ball to take home. I did get it back at the end of the season, but that wasn't my intention. I chalk it all up to the cost of being a good coach.
You've learned what to do next time this happens. I've been in that type of situation in the past and it takes going through it to learn how to handle it. I've also been that situation for some kids - I had a parent who went ballistic because I was development oriented and not win at all costs. And if I had been win at all costs, his son would have had less playing time. Go figure... Anyway, I was sad for the kid when he pulled him from my team, but I wasn't sad to see the dad go away. The other question you raise is whether the other parents have learned their lesson or not. Will they sign up again? If so, will they blindly take the same coaches? It might take one of them stepping up to be the new coach. I suspect you won't know the answer to the second question for quite some time.
Yeah, I usually bring an extra or two in case someone forgets or had their gear in the other parent's car, but they all have to bring their own. The problem is some parents truly go for El Crappo ball. I overheard a parent on another team (and this is halfway into the season, mind you), coming to the realization that hers was the only girl without a ball, to which she said "I guess I'll have to go to Toys-R-Us and get her one." Frickin' TOYS-R-US?!?!? Thankfully, some of the other mothers pointed her in better directions. But the complete and utter cluelessness is sometimes astounding. With my guys, the problem is reminding them (constantly) to keep the damned balls inflated. A couple practices ago, I was working with The Shuffler and (a) he was bringing a size 5 ball rolleyes and (b) when I stepped on it once it collapsed like a bean bag chair! It is the mental aspect, or lack thereof, among players and parents that will always and forever be the most fundamentally annoying thing about coaching for me.
My son has to fight kids off of his ball at practices. And at scrimmages/games it will get chosen to be the game ball. It is properly inflated and doesn't hurt to kick like some of the cheaper balls. He got a new one (which honestly I thought was cheap, but he wanted a change) and they used that in the last game. It looked shiny I guess.
The thing is, it isn't much more to buy a good ball - a couple bucks more, and it will last a heck of a lot longer. Penny wise, pound foolish.
I know that several of them have concerns, because they've told me. A couple of them have told me if I break off and start a new team that they will come join. Now, I wasn't planning on coaching U8 next year because I've got another daughter coming up and was going to coach her team (don't really have enough time to do both). We'll just have to wait and see how things pan out.
I bought 4 mighty fine looking el cheapo supremes at Target for $2 each on clearance. They are nice and soft and would probably split right down the seam if one of our bigger U7s kicked them hard enough.
I quit yesterday. Coach #1's buddy, who I think I mentioned earlier in this thread as "can't-pass-a-background-check guy", apparently asked if he could coach our game in coach #2's absence (his daughter is also on the team). Coach #1 told him that the reason he couldn't help was because of me (I told coach #1 to be sure the guy filled out his background check info for the league... league rules, and common sense), and so the guy showed up threatening violence, complete with yelling, screaming, and cursing after the game. Well, duh, you idiot, case proven. Anyway, I phoned it in. You live, you learn.
good luck to you, I think you did the right thing. I'm sure you hated leaving the kids but, I think you tried just about everything you could.
And you left the kids with that guy?I know we can't save everybody but at least push the background check issue. Put it in the "I would never forgive myself if..." category.
No, I didn't leave the kids with that guy. I am way ahead of you on this one. I didn't me to make it seem otherwise -- I'm just pretty upset about it, and didn't feel like going into all the gory details.
Had a really good game on Saturday (3-0 against a team that beat us last season even though they had played another game only 30 minutes earlier), despite Thursday's practice leaving me very unsatisfied. It almost seems that the worse I think practices are on Thursdays, the better the team plays on Saturday. Tonight I'm holding tryouts for our U7 Rec tournament team(s). In fact, given the numbers of pre-registered kids, it looks like we'll field two full teams for the tournament without having to cut anyone. We're not necessarily telling the kids that going in, though.
I know of a coach that was said to not be able to pass the CORY. In fact, I would now consider him a friend of mine. Some administrators at competing clubs had been e-mailing their club members "warning" their parents about this individual and those parents in turn were e-mailing everyone and anyone. When I first read the e-mail, it scared the heck out of me, because my kids were being coached by this person. Further research, however, revealed that the individual had been in trouble, mostly as a result of drug and alcohol abuse as a college student seventeen years earlier. Although his personality was such that he always was and always will be a controversial character, he had not been in trouble since that time and had in fact passed his CORY. He made a copy of it available to anyone who asked. However, the e-mail was intentionally written to scare the heck out of parents and most who read it simply acted upon emotion. The only ones who might ask were those that had already gotten to know him through their kids. Far more wouldn't bring their kids to him because of that e-mail, which was the purpose and intent. Too bad, because he was a talented coach who emphasized teaching the game to anyone interested in learning, including parents. The whole e-mail campaign was quite despicable IMO, so I caution people to be careful of what you think you know of others.
Actually, I find that behavior to be pretty disturbing and "witch-hunt" like. People make mistakes, and deserve second chances. I think in our jurisdiction the person cannot have had a felony drug arrest in 7 years, and there are different restrictions for different kinds of felony convictions. Seems reasonable to me. But to witch-hunt someone for something they did 15 years ago as a youth is just wrong. In this fellow's case, the stuff was very recent (as recent as a few months ago), and with a long, continuous history. Even with that, no one really knew except the people who needed to know (the commissioner).
Join the BOD and/or serve on the local Games and Disciplinary Committee - people who can pass background checks and appear mild mannered can be scary enough. I hate the phrases, "And the coach showed up midway in the first half ..." and "If we had known he was the opposing coach, we would have rescheduled." Between the two they accounted for all of the cases I heard one year. (And in one case, they both applied.) You can let the league do basic sanity checks on backgrounds, but as Bird1812 alludes, you are the one responsible for finding out the character of your child's coach. You meet with them, you talk with them, so over the long run, you decide whether you will trust your child with them or not.