A new one for me. We moved a player that played forward for us in a 4-4-2 last year to an wide midfielder this year. The player had balked at the idea of doing this but is a natural. So much so that in the first game he got a goal and an assist in our first game. Mama comes up after practice and tells us that we will put her son back up front as a forward. We explain that his position is what can best help the team. She is having nothing of it. Any of you have problems with interfering parents?
I imagine every youth coach has had parent issues. I think it is a bit like an iceberg. Some parents will be dissatisfied, but not talk to you about it. That is potentially the bigger problem. I was very fortunate in that only once did a parent approach me about a position issue. This was a U-Little team (433 system) where in each match I rotated players through the lines and playing time was roughly equal. What was there to object to? This mother wanted her daughter to rotate at right mid instead of stopper--she didn't object to playing time at sweeper; she felt playing stopper would be considered a negative by travel coaches scouting our team. (I didn't tell her she was wrong as I had a poor opinion generally of the club's coaching.) I explained that her daughter was one of the best players so I was rotating her up and down the spine and that coaches ought to be impressed with her speed and aggressiveness displayed when in the stopper/destroyer role. I don't know if I convinced her, but she didn't complain again. As a CB, the daughter dominated a huge space. Her physical and mental aspects were amazing for a 9 year old. I imagine that if the team hadn't been winning matches, there would have been more complaints. I think there are some coaching truisms. Coaches always have to earn the respect of the players. Some parents will always try to promote their child's "career."
Player, parent/spectator, ref, or coach. Pick one. Cannot be two things. Not that you won't but be firm. But be firm.
What age? If HS, then you should not be talking with parents. The kid should talk to you if they have an issue. The parent can be present if they prefer.
At least the mother confronted you face to face and not use emails or the telephone. Mothers protecting their little boys in HS . Well, my mother never did that she just cooked the food. My father did not care about me one way or another so he would not have said a thing. I guess that kid just does not understand what a wing mid does in a 4-4-2. How important that position is and how much freedom he has to attack in it, but he also has to defend when the team loses the ball. Now would I get upset with a mother trying to protect her son. Normally, I would say yes especially if she done it via email or phone. But I would try to talk to her if she confronted me in person if she did not do it in front of a lot of people. But doing it in front of people would have got her an answer she would not have liked. Because she forced me to tell her now I can't play him until further notice because of her not him.
Player is a sophomore. Player was not happy with the change even though he scored and had an assist. Mama came in just as all the players had left to confront us. She is not happy and appears will not be happy unless her baby is allowed to play forward. The child appears to be able to get his way no matter what. He is one of our "hard heads", a discipline problem. He is right on the edge of losing time due to behavior that is detrimental to the team. His older brother was a one of our leaders and graduated last year and was a forward. The brother that his brother is hard headed. He will toe the line or not play. The complication is Mama who is threatening to get other parents involved.
Document it, so when your AD hears about it (and they will hear about it), you will show the course of action you have taken.
Actually most bosses I worked for appreciated getting a heads up about a problem before the problem happened. One of the best moves I ever did was to immediately tell my boss about a nasty phone call and what I had refused to do, so he was prepared when the next call came to him. It was not about protecting myself; it was about letting the boss be prepared to handle a nasty call. Maybe your boss backs you and maybe he doesn't, but either way you make the boss look good and the organization look good too. That is actually worth a lot.
I'd suggest, as rca2 said, not only document it, but possibly get out in front of it. If you can let your boss know there's a situation brewing they won't be caught blindsided and possibly make a rash statement that's then hard to walk back. Schools are, in general, way too willing to accept complaints from parents; it's a pendulum swing from the "old days" when the teacher was always right and the student always wrong, maybe some day we'll get to experience proper equilibrium in that. In the interim, if you "get your story out" first you look like you're being proactive, and you look less defensive and are less likely to be perceived as making up a story to cover yourself. Humans are weird like that.
So far we are out in front of it. The AD was notified of the mom's visit. The AD is supportive. We expect that the player will eventually show out (he did last year on his own) and for the player to lose time for it. Then we will await the mom's next move.
Play him wherever you want until he gives poor effort. If he tanks his effort at a position he doesn't want to play, pull him off of the field. Why does she want her little angel to play forward to bad? Is there a college scholarship on the line?
The brother was the first to sign a College scholarship for soccer from this school since the start of the program about 12 years ago. He played forward. Maybe that has something to do with it. But the same year we had an outside mid also sign. But at this point noone is looking at him.
That works if the boss is making more money from using what services you provide. If they are losing money he could go against you. And use it to let you go instead of maybe putting his job in jeopardy. He could say he is a problem he can't deal with his workers better let him go then me.
You are right. I admit I forgot that government service is different than private sector. In government, bosses cannot fire you themselves. They can provide bad evaluations and recommend that you be fired, but people that decide are generally the same people that can fire the boss instead. Its not like the private sector, where bosses generally don't need a reason to fire someone. Working for a boss that you can't trust stinks.
Actually even though its a public sector school, the AD can likely remove a coach without much of a blink from the administration. Coaches generally are not covered like a tenured teacher. Even if the coach is a tenured teacher, they can be removed by the AD from the coaching position.
I guess I did not make myself clear. I regretted I did not qualify my advice because it applied to my experience in federal service when you have career status and not to the poster's situation where I suspect he is an independent contractor.
My own experience as a county employee did not last long. I gave them 2 weeks notice and quit because of their lack of respect for employees. In my case they reassigned me to another job without even telling me. I only discovered it when the assignments changed and I questioned why I was given different work. (This was a promotion so don't think I am covering up a firing.) I didn't want the new job and took a federal job doing what I wanted. As I said before, working for a boss you can't trust stinks.