Funny Experiences

I cautioned every poor little girl who laughed at me.

I also cautioned both coaches for allowing the parents to laugh at me.

I tripped again later and we wound up finishing 7v7 LOL

 

If any of you work in the design or consrtuction field you will relate to my observation that assessor and OSHA inspectors are all cut of the same nitpicking cloth.

 

TOO FUNNY!!! Good story.


One of my own...

Latino league first game in the AM, inclement weather coming but not an immediate threat...at least until about 30 minutes into the 1st half. As the field was hard packed dirt with a few sprouts of grass, I chose to go with my turf shoes since the field was about the consistency of aged concrete. Bottom drops out turning parts of the field into a mud bath. No thunder or lightning so we keep playing. I whistle a foul and as I start moving up the field the ball rolls a few feet behind me. Now normally I go out of my way to avoid the ball except before the game and for drop balls, but JUST THIS ONCE, I decide to be a nice guy and turn to tap the ball the 5 yards to the player about to take the IFK. Poor decision as my turf shoes slip right out from under me and I go butt first down onto (and into) the mud...right in front of both benches and all the spectators on that side of the field. What could I do but laugh along with everybody else? (or maybe issue a bunch of dissent/PIM...it only takes 5 reds for everybody to go home!)

TWO LESSONS LEARNED:

Nice guys end up on their butts in the mud &
Let the players get their own damn balls

 

I figure if I get hit by a ball, it's my fault (generally speaking) and I needed to get wider, a bit further away, out of a passing lane, whatever. But still....

U14 boys game, player cracks a very hard ball about 4 feet off the ground from 10 yards away. I still have a few of my goalkeeping reflexes left... no, I didn't catch it, but I was able to hit the turf in a split second and have the ball whistle over me. I heard a few admiring comments from the parents.

In another game, I was ever so diligently staying out of the way by shadowing the defender who was pressuring the player with the ball. Completely safe behind the defender, right? Wrong. Player with the ball, makes a hard driven pass... right through the defenders legs. Hits me in the feet hard enough to make me lose my balance for a second. Absolutely nothing I could have done to get out of the way at that one.

Finally, from time to time I've used a Mexican 5-peso coin for the toss. Before a U12 girls game, I said, "Okay, I've got cinco pesos here, this side is heads, this is tails, call it in the air." As I flip the coin up, the girl calls: "Cinco pesos!"

 

First game I ever did YEARS ago.....cannot break the striker in an 18 year old boy....ball comes sailing into the area, me (the striker turned ref) is 15 meters from the back post....the whole team misses the ball. Not me...reflexes had me chesting the damn thing down and lining up a shot. Crowd laughed, coach yelled "shoot, shoot", players on the ground laughing. I get a drop ball going and the defense kicked it upfield.

15 years later am back doing a tournament in Neuperlach and the coach for that game is there, recognizes me and tosses me a kit when I come over to talk before the game saying "Suit up, my strikers are out sick."

 

I'm regularly tempted to play a ball that swings by while I am reffing, and almost don't stop myself in time. So far, I haven't actually settled, shot, or cleared a ball intentionally.

 

After a while in the center the "urge" goes away. But at 18 and doing my first center, it was hard to resist such a tempting shot. Sad part is it was probably the best running-chest-down-shot-prep I had EVER done.

 

Running the line last night in a U-19 boys game with my girlfriend in the middle. She was a bit nervous so I am determined to do my best to help her. Trouble is, the teams are wearing dark red or dark blue with identical logos on the front and identical colour numbers on the back (it's a summer camp tournament as prep for high school). The sun is in my eyes and I am really struggling to determine who is a defender and who is an attacker.
Red gets a goal kick, but for some reason there is a lot of faffing about before the kick gets taken, the position of the 2LD is changing a lot, attackers are on/off and so on. Anyway, in my focus on the 2LD I forget it's a goal kick and flag a player as offside. Whistle blows, play stops, I immediately realise what I've done and wish a hole would open up for me to fall into. I await the storm of complaints, and there are some, but it's directed at the lad who was "offside". The coach then screams at his players to shut up, get on with it, good call, he was way off......

 

I saw the same call made in an MLS game.

 

I broke an ankle in the middle of a W-League game. This wasn't funny but the pictures the visiting coach took of me being carried off the field by one of the ARs were...

 

Was an AR for a U15 SuperY game this week, on the next field over, about 5 yards between the parallel fields, there was an adult, co-ed 7v7 league playing. Problem was they were playing across the field, so any shot that missed the net, came onto our field.

Ball came on probably 15 times during the game, all without any real effect except 1:

- Play was crossing into the attacking half where I was the AR, the right forward, right infront of me was being closely watched by the defender. The ball came onto the field and say motionless between the attacker and defender. I could tell the attacker was waiting on a through ball and the defender was trying to give his speed some respect. For some reason the defender decided to take 2-3 steps and kick the offending ball off the field. The attacker took this chance and broke for the net, received a great ball and went in on goal, to the stunned belief of the defender.

I raised the flag and called over the CR explained what happened and we re-started with dropped ball, but it was pretty funny the look on the defenders face.

 

Some years ago, I refereed a tournament played at a local military installation where, like many, the parade grounds are lined with multiple fields. These parade grounds had some trees located at the corners. My field is lined where one of the trees was located near the touchline.

I am in AR in the first game of the day, I am very careful to note that the tree is on my line. Sure enough, as the sun rose that morning and set that day, play developed and broke quickly and I forgot all about the tree. I hit it running full speed, much like Wiley E. Coyote. I have the wind knocked out of me, I see major stars, but I still manage to signal for the goal kick before I fell to my knees. Of course, people thought it was funny and so did I. I honestly don't remember much after that. I think I went home.

 

Final of a major S.E. tournament between 2 rival teams who played previous weekend where 9 cards were issued. Those south of the border had no regard for the lines of the field; ball headed toward goal line; quick glance indicted 4 men on line (2 in field and 2 outside); dipped shoulder & man #1 was on the ground, man 2 & 3 moved and man 4 joined his amigo. Laughter followed among the 4 and the field gained their respect!

 

This past June, at our state's Open (travel) tournament:

The fields were pretty close together, and the club that I live in (which has neglected me as a referee) has a team playing on the field behind me (I'm AR 1). More particularly, the players on said team are my younger sister's classmates. Even more particularly, there are several kids on the team that are real pieces of work, for lack of better words.

Since the teams on adjacent fields stay in the same between-field corridors to prevent player-fan interaction, the kids from the other field are behind me, and keep backing up onto my line. After 2 warnings to stay out of my way (which, oddly enough, the teams on my own field had no difficulty doing), one of the aforementioned pieces of work made the mistake of stepping in front of me one last time.

I break into a full speed sprint (which may or may not have been necessary... it was U15 boys ) which very efficiently took him out hard... REALLY hard. With a quick "sorry" I continued on my way. On my way back up the field, the coaches, who all know and like me, made the predictable comments asking if I started playing football when I quit playing soccer. That was the last altercation I had with the kids backing up in my way that night.

And the kid was fine... he was a big tough 8th grade boy, he could handle it.

 

An adult league I frequented always set up their field in the opposite direction of the 2 youth fields that played the day before such that the youth goal posts (which were cemented in the ground) were only about 2 feet off the side line of the adult field. Yes, there were collisions now and then, but luckily nothing serious.

The funniest experience was actually the time I was sprinting down the line, made a quick stop and whipped my flag up for an offside....right into the cross bar of the youth field. I felt the hit, looked up, and saw the flag had snapped in half. I just stood there with a limp flag in hand.

The center jogged across the field to one of our bags and got me a new flag to finish the game with. (Good news was it wasn't my flags being used.)

- Davidjd

 

On the idea of flags becoming.. injured..

During an AYSO game, U19 boys, I was mentoring a 15 year old guy, his first game at this level. At one point, he signaled for a throw-in. The flag went flying off into the air, it was a windy day, and I struggled to chase it down. I ran and got one of my flags, coincidentally exactly the same. I was able to get the Velcro back together to hold the flag on its.. stick.

 

I was recently teaching at an AYSO referee super-camp. We were fortunate enough to have Sandy Hunt and Brian Hall as our principal instructors.

On the last day, Brian had a few minutes to kill, so he took a break in the training session I was teaching (how to give a proper pre/post game referee conference). I presented it as a little skit, in full referee uniform, with two students serving as my ARs while I was the referee. After finishing the skit, one of the female students asked if I was wearing a men's referee jersey (for those of you who don't know, I am a woman). Baffled by the question, I looked down at the shirt, noted it was a man's, and so replied "Um, yes". Then the student asked "Are women allowed to wear men's shirts? I thought we had to use women shirts". I told her that it was allowed, and that I preferred the men's shirts because the pen pocket on a women's is on the sleve which is difficult to use. After I finished the presentation I went to the back of the room where Brian was resting against the wall. As the next instructor begin his presentation, Brian turned to me and asked "Excuse me...are those men's shorts you're wearing?"

 

There are AYSO referee super-camps? I've never heard of that.

That would have been funny to watch, anything with higher ranking referees is bound to have good humor

 

I had the middle in a U-19 boys game that is part of a program for getting HS players in shape for the coming season. Most of the matches have been pretty relaxed. One team shows up short of players and has recruited two girls, giving them 10. The other team elects to play with 10 also, but is clearly a better team and quickly establishes a lead. Coach starts removing his attackers and the co-ed team gets back in the game a bit, the two girls playing well and earning the respect of the boys.
At the end of the match my AR says that one of the winning team defenders had come over to her and said.... if that girl on the left wing is offside, please keep your flag down, we want her to score!

 

A few weeks ago I was the center of a U17 Boys game at a college showcase tournament. The ball went out of bounds and I indicated a corner kick, both teams looked in the direction of the corner and noticed that there was a team of girls about the same age next to the field, and they had turned on the water hose and were spraying each other with the water to cool off. The boys from both teams were transfixed by the sight, they were asking for a time out! and saying they were too distracted. One of them said, "My first wet tee shirt contest and I would have to be playing soccer! " I tried to tell them to focus on taking the corner kick, but that was impossible, I just let them put the ball back in play when they were ready. I guess they don't call it a showcase for nothing.

 

Just did the same thing myself this past weekend...maybe we should pick up some Stick-em ala Lester Hayes, the only guy in the NFL who wouldn't get a single high-five after intercepting a pass.

 

It was a tournament game of about U13 or U14 boys. My AR was a strikingly attractive blonde of about 14 or 15. She was checking in one of the teams and, when she was done, asked the team, "Do you have any questions?" to which one of the boys replied, "Yeah. What's your phone number?"