Thanks but the problem is that her mom gets her what she wants, which is why she's like that and she's with her mom much more then she's with me.
I ran down here to post what my boy just did today while I was at work. I looked in the living room and saw that he had blown up a bunch of balloons. There are a dozen or so of them on the couch. I looked a little more closely and saw that one of the balloons had the number 12 written on it in black marker. I thought, "Hmm... that's interesting..." and said to my wife who came into the room, "Did he count all the balloons and give them numbers?" She said, "No. He gave them all ages." I looked and saw that, indeed, there was a tiny 2 year old balloon, great big 54 and 40 year olds, and some others with various other ages. I thought that they went up in age with sizes. I asked, "Why is the 5 year old balloon bigger than the 8 year old balloon?" I was told that some of the balloons grew differently. Crazy what kids come up with.
Glad you resurrected this thread. Reminds me of something my two-year-old did last week: He always resists naps a little bit so we just put him in his room and let him talk himself to sleep. He's pretty mellow about it and we've learned to ignore his jabbering. Well, last week he'd been awake a really long time so I went in to check on him and the bed was empty. So I glanced around quickly and saw movement behind the curtains--he was standing on top of the windowsill (about 18 inches off the ground). No big deal, I thought, since he does this fairly regularly. His windows face the street so he watches the snow falling, or cars driving by, or kids coming home from school. So anywho I went to fetch him and put him back in bed. When I pushed aside the curtains, I realized he had stripped off ALL of his clothing and was standing butt-naked giving the whole street a show. That's my boy. What a proud moment for his mother!
Christmas Mass. At the sign of peace, my five year old turns to the people in the pew behind us, offers each of them his hand, and dutifully repeats to each . . . . "Rest in peace."
This one has to do with me when I was younger. When I was about 5 or so (can't remember exactly how old I was), my dad and I were in a bookstore where there was an extremely fat man looking at some books. I pointed at him and yelled, "Dad, he looks like Humpty Dumpty!"
I was watching tv with my kid, half falling asleep. It was between shows, and a cartoon character/moose named Moose A. Moose... ... is talking to the kids watching. He says something like, "If you want to see something cool, point your peepers over here!" My son screamed, horrified, "POINT YOUR PEEPERS?!?!" Little did Moose A. Moose know that for many years, daddy has been saying to his son in the shower/bath, "Don't forget to wash your peeper." Obviously, I was not talking about either of his eyes.
on a similiar note, here's something I did when I was younger. My dad took me to a college football game -- local school, division II so it was just a couple thousand people in bleachers sort of a thing -- and I stood up, looked around at the sparse crowd and said 'Dad, there sure are a lot of drunk people here.' The entire crowd raised a toast to me, though for a second there my dad thought they were gonna throw their beers.
I have a worse one. I don't remember it, I just heard it second hand a few times. Although I grew up on Long Island, my neighborhood was made up of Italian Catholics, Irish Catholic and Jews. When I was about 3 or so, my mother took me to a Department Store (a "Times Square Store" for you old New Yorkers). I saw a black family walking past and suppoedly turned to my mother, in a loud enough voice and said, "Mommy, look, those people have chocolate all over their faces." My mother was completely embarrassed but luckily the people thought it was funny.
It's a good thing they found it funny. I have another embarrassing story. This one is also different because not only does it have to do with me, but I was also significantly older (12). I'm half Swedish (mother's side) and almost every summer my family and I go to Sweden to visit our relatives. One day we were in Stockholm at an old toy shop filled with a lot of people (about 20-30). I was looking at a nice, surprisingly high-quality wooden toy bow (the kind with the suction cup tipped arrows). I foolishly decided to test out how well the bow worked. So I turned to the nearby window and fired to see how well the arrows stuck to the window. Needless to say, the bows power as well as the arrows suction strength exceeded my expectations. The window shattered and every single person in the little shop silently stared at me. My mom was pale and just stood there for a few seconds looking at me in shock and embarrassment. She ended up having to pay 1000 Kronor for the broken window (about $100). The store also stopped selling those particular bows because they were deemed to be too powerful for younger kids to be using (thanks to me). It wasn't my fault that the windows were so weak Sorry for the long read but I thought it was pretty suitable for this topic.
Today, I was driving my 3-year-old daughter to daycare, as I do most mornings, when a car pulled out in front of me. The road is listed for 55mph, so I need to slam the breaks to avoid slamming their car. Under my breath (I thought), I mubmled "mother fucker." Two seconds later, I hear: "Daddy, what's a focker. What's a focker, daddy." To which I reply: "No, sweetie. 'Other trucker,' did you see the big truck over there?" While I'm thinking about it: She tends to leave out the "L" sound in flag, so it comes out 'fag.' There is a very large flag that we pass everyday, about which she remarks: "See the big fag, daddy?" Several months ago my uncle, who is homosexual, and his partner visited us. My wife and I just knew that one of them would wear an American flag shirt, just so my daughter could say, "Look daddy, a big fag!" It didn't happen, but it would have been funny.
My nieces and nephew are always fighting with each other. However the funniest things they do is when they are playing their musical instruments. One of my nieces plays the keyboard and my nephew plays the guitar. It is funny when they are waiting for eachother to finish. Sometimes it is funny to them play jokes on their parents. My niece sent me a pic from the footy (They went and saw Geelong vs Sydney at Skilled stadium) The pic was of their view of the footy at half time. They had taken a pic of somebody's backside.
My son loved to be naked when he was 3 and we lived in Tx for some time, when the military transferred me to AZ. we lived on the corner with a chain fence and one day we pull off his clothes and went #1 & 2 in the backyard and stripped down to do it
My nephew couldn't pronounce P's or T's properly and LOVED all kinds of trucks I nearly got pummelled by a large trucker as my nephew yelled "Dumb @uck, Dumb @uck" while pointing at a dump truck driving by.