Not the best story of the week, but to me, pretty darn good story (of the year). Thanksgiving got me thinking about what I am thankful for and I decided that I am very thankful that 10 years ago my then 14 yr old son said he wanted to become a ref. This prompted me to look into it and decide I wanted to do it too. Both my boys reffed about 1000 games each, but are now done with it. I just finished up my season with 7 games in a showcase tourney. This puts me at 163 games for the year. Revenue comes in at $10,098.13, which works out to almost $62 a game. 45 HS/MS games 35 Youth premier 34 Youth tournaments 29 Adult Men 8 Adult co-ed 6 Youth Cup 3 College Club 2 Youth Comp 1 Youth Recreational (no one wanted to do it) Add to that $1500 for being field coordinator for a premier club and $4656 for assigning tournaments and premier games and $0 for assigning my local town club. So it was a busy year and I'm thinking, not bad for a 57 yr old who gets paid to exercise. Now what the hell do I do until March............?
We're all human, so I get it. I can't promise I would've found the exact words and body language to defuse the situation. But looking back and reflecting, I just can't agree with insulting someone's play. I can't see a need for it.
@refjack951 I'm glad you're a new member here and putting up your story. With your professed experience, I ask - is there something you should have done differently, earlier in the match, to keep it from reaching this point? Could you have managed earlier free kicks differently? Or the YC/delay from the player who kicked the ball away? What could have prevented this confrontation in the 78th minute? Thanks.
I'm working out. It's easier to stay in shape than to get in shape. Much easier, although it doesn't feel like it at the time. Fortunately, I have access to an indoor track that opens at 6 a.m.
My treadmill is my friend in the winter - along with evening matches on a full-sized indoor field and a club that hosts (outdoor) college showcases in Colorado in November and January.
We all ask ourselves that question. In this case, I saw the team in question a couple times earlier in the season. In pre season scrimmages, several of their players were dicing with RCs from other refs besides me. In short, a very poorly behaved bunch operating under very scant adult supervision and/or leadership. Think Lord of the Flies comes to the soccer pitch. When reffing you want to let them play, that is until they demonstrate they can't. That line approaches pretty darn quick in BHSV. If all you do is club, you'll almost never see issues like school rivalry or testosterone fueled shutdown of higher thought processes. Most club matches are a completely different box of chocolates from HS.
We have an indoor complex in my area, but having worked one off season there, I'll stick to my bike in the winter. Easier on the knees and the temperament.
I'm glad you ask yourself that question, how do you answer it? You describe your thoughts about the teams, coaching and behaviors - but my question was: what could you have done differently and I'm wondering how you did answer that to yourself. I'm not trying to be snarky, but I don't think you answered the question. Thanks.
I'll only do the full-field, 3-ref indoor location. The stuff with walls and small fields is just a recipe for injury and disaster.
If you read the part about that team being a known issue from even pre season scrimmages, then there's the answer. Like a FIFA ref told me once, sometimes a crap sandwich is just that and no amount of mayonnaise will fix it. I actually got through that one with one YC and one RC. Both on that team. As stated the YC was for DR given fairly early so that put a stop to that behavior. The RC was 2CT. First was about the 60m for FRD. It was cut and dried, we see that video every recert. Player started arguing why it wasn't a card, I explained the Law governing restarts, he kept arguing. All the while I'm walking him to the bench (HS remember), then he says I'm effing stupid. Sorry, won't tolerate that one. Since it was just me and him I made it a YC for DT meaning in one stoppage this character got two YC. BTW, we were being assessed and got good marks across the board. Our HS assoc sends out stealth spies sometimes. You'll never know who's watching, up to and including our assignor. Sometimes in BHSV you just can't reason with stupid or stubborn kids. It just doesn't pay to be a nice guy all the time. They'll just walk all over you like they did their coach.
The YMCA's in my area just got a SkillMill. For indoor interval running, it is great. It has a curved track that is powered by your steps, not a motor. I got up to speed in 2-3 steps from a walk. I found it harder than a treadmill, since you have to make it go and maybe even harder than outside. They are pretty expensive, but if one pops up in your gym, definitely try it out.
As a new ref, I almost created my first card. JVB coach was talking to me the whole game, but nothing overly mean. Later in the game, after having to make a call from far away (2-man system), he said something a little stronger. I gave him a sarcastic reply and he gave me a stronger reply. It was strong enough that I stopped and was about to reach for a yellow card, but then realized that if I helped escalate things to a yellow card, I deserved it as much as he did. I still mentally beat myself up over that exchange.
I understand the temptation to interact with the coach, but you're best off completely avoiding it as much as possible during the match. Your responsibility is on the pitch. If the coach gets out of line, then don't hesitate to book him. Many schools take a dim view of their coaching staff incurring cards. If you're acting in a solid professional manner, then the AD will have no issues when you cut his toes off with a YC.
You keep referencing "boys high school varsity" like that is a big deal. From my experience, high school soccer is actually easier. The talent level is watered down. If you are having this much trouble with a high school game, then you are in for a world of hurt when you ref high level youth, adult amateur, or college. You also mentioned in a previous post you mentioned that you "let them play, until they demonstrate that they can't." Maybe you should just call it tight from the beginning. It's much easier to start out calling it tight and then loosen up, than it is to start loose and then tighten up as a reaction.
I've had far less issues with DA, ECNL, U19 Premier Boys and College than with HS. Yes, the skill level is lower (ofter far lower). And letting them play until they can't works with most matches. If you spend enough time doing HS, and work the preseason scrimmages, you get to know early on who can and who can't play through stuff. You see pretty much the same coaching staff year in year out and know who the problems are. We all adjust accordingly. In the meantime, don't make assumptions about me please.
That "don't make assumptions" thing goes both ways. And stop trying to impress people with "DA, ECNL, U19 Premier" etc. Everybody knows that DA and ECNL are not challenging when it comes to player management. Those players are playing with a purpose, to get noticed by a college coach and get scholarship money. Of course they aren't going to be a problem. And maybe letting them play does work in higher level matches, because the players are better skilled and know how to handle themselves. However, most high school players are not as skilled or experienced. Therefore, it requires a referee to enforce the rules (high school) more closely.
@refjack951 - I read all of your posts and agree with much of what you say. I'm just asking, "Is there something YOU should have done differently"? That's something that you still haven't answered. If you're comfortable that there is nothing you would have done differently, then say so. Thanks.
A note to newer refs: There are many styles of refereeing. Different styles work for different referees--all of us need to find the style and tools that work for us. But in working on your style, be wary of the aggressive style refjack describes. It may work for him, but it is a type of style that generally only works for some experienced referees--and tends to implode on less experienced referees as they escalate rather than de-escalating. (In my experience, there are more referees who think the confrontational style works for them than for whom it actually works. But there are some for whom it does works.) So be careful with strategies that involve smart a$$ or caustic remarks--for most of us, they are better thought of and shared with other referees after the fact that actually spoken aloud. (For those looking for ways to be less confrontational than they are, consider the book Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art of Persuasion. The book, written by a former beat cop, focuses on how to get desired results, in part by stepping back and asking what the real desired result is, which is not always what we are thinking about in the first instance. For example, I don't need the coach to agree my call was right or even understand why I made it (though both are nice), what I need is for him to move on and stop disrupting the game. I won't claim to be a true disciple of the book, but I found it useful food for thought as a referee--and in life.)
"High school soccer" is far too broad a term to generalize. Are you reffing some game between rival private schools that include DA players who have waivers and really get after it on the field, with a couple hundred fans getting into it? Are you reffing a game between schools that have a crosstown rivalry with healthy attendance from each side's student body? Or are you reffing a game in which a few parents are up in the stands away from the action and clapping politely? In short, it's a Big Deal in some places and a minor occasion in others.