Best Story of the Week - 2018

Hope that you're the Center - much easier to stay warm.

Of course, the best choice is to curl up with a cup of hot tea, a blanket and a good book, being glad that you're not outside reffing this evening.

My niece played in this the other night in South Dakota.

 

Layers. More layers. Beanie cap for your head (and ears!). Gloves. Two pairs of socks.

All obvious, but here's the one you might miss: Goretex windbreaker under your ref jersey.

 

That was me yesterday morning.

 

Layers. Lots and lots of layers.

 

As others have said: Layer, then layer some more. Make sure the bottom layer breaths.

I'm a Texas weather wimp, so I use hothands when it gets cold.

 

Sometimes, but I can get away with wearing a Yellow one game and a green another and then the red, wash all 3 and repeat. I always wear one of those absorbing T-shirts under my Ref shirt so in case of emergency I can wear the same color twice, but my washing machine has a "quick wash" mode that takes 28 minutes. I can throw in as much as I want and have them clean and dry in 1.5 hours.

I have multiple shorts and socks (3 stripe and center stripe of course) so I can swap those out, but I am not buying a short sleeve AND a long sleeve in every color imaginable.

Also, back in the day when all 4 kids were living at home, pretty much had to do laundry everyday anyway.

 

My first-ever assessment was a night game at 27F: I believe that's still the coldest game I've ever worked. I was AR1: the CR thought it was very important that we used his flags, which were utterly broken and had slippery grips that I couldn't reliably hold with gloves. I knew it was important to this particular assessor that we were dressed to USSF standards, and I wasn't confident enough yet to ask for reasonable dispensation. I also knew that this assessor cared that I hustled to the corner flag for all appropriate signals, even if it wasn't necessary for the flow of the game, or, in this case, if the last 8 yards were entirely iced over, so the hustling was more like carefully tiptoeing. The assessor (properly dressed for the weather) actually came behind me to correct the way I was holding my flag - I didn't explain that if I didn't hold it that way, it would slip right through my hands.

Post-game, the assessor spent >10min providing an appropriate litany of concerns, especially for the CR, who bungled pretty much everything that could have been bungled that night, including multiple match-critical incidents. (That CR then used the next clinic to throw me under the bus from that game to a state official - while I stood behind him.) The assessor's friend was kind enough to suggest that we put the lecture on hold until I was able to grab a jacket and get my chattering teeth under control.

Good times. (That assessor is now one of my favorite people, and biggest supporters, in the region. You never know!)

 

I remember back in the 60's when I was 32.Them was some good times!

 

Had a BU13 gold level game on Sunday night in upscale area with young British coaches. Home team down 0-3 and come back to win 4-3. Final five minutes a mess. Visiting team coaches verbally abusive to AR1 for missing a foul in front of him while attending to down player. I tell him to stop and get the player off the field.
Last 30 seconds home team breaks away towards goal and forward and goalie collide. I was in great position and deem a caution to the forward who should have pulled away from the challenge. Yes it was an accident, but still reckless. Goalie is down and coaches are screaming for a red card. Took a few extra seconds to summon the coaches on the field because of the high drama. I then blew the whistle for the end of the game. Bottom line.
1. Visiting coaches- were mad that I didn't issue a red card and made sure the kids didn't shake our hands. Had to threaten them for ejection.
2. Home coaches- were upset that a foul was even called. How can we teach our kids not to go 100%?
3. Goalie Dad- came all the way over to the other side of the field and got in my face for not summoning the verbally abusive coaches right away
4. Forward- was crying and upset that he had received a yellow card.

The three of us referees had to walk the gauntlet by all the parents knowing we got the call correct, but everyone upset at us.

 

I often tell new refs that it is very likely at least 50% of the people at a game will be unhappy with you, and possibly 100%. Nature of the beast.

When I am feeling bummed about how unhappy everyone is with my reffing, I try to connect with other refs. Invariably, they re-affirm that if you were in position and saw the play, then you made the best call you could. Right or wrong, you did your job as best you could. And if by chance you were wrong, then congrats, you are human. That is, less than perfect, just like the coaches, players and parents.

As to your particular game, it sounds like it was very high intensity. It would have been nice if there had been a site admin to rein in the noise. Absent that, it falls to the CR to take control. The example of getting on AR1 (IMO) is where you need to shut the coaches down HARD. (easy for me to say, right).

Hope you enjoyed the challenge and getting paid to exercise.....

 

A few from a recent,not particularly skilled G16 game. Girls just plain having fun, and a high "squeal factor."

Girl running toward a high bouncing ball and stopping: "Oh, I' not supposed to head it--I had a concussion."

Another girl, after a nice head ball" "Hey, that didn't hurt--I did it right!" (She often headed with the top of her head . . .)

After a kick by one of the better players, with parents gleefully yelling "good job" and "nice kick" from the stands, a soft voice behind me from a teammate "but who was it to?" (And she was right, it was a kick to nowhere . . .)

 

I wish I saw more of this. As an assignor, over 50% of all my new refs are girls. And I try to favor them by giving them more games (when I don't have enough for all refs). And they generally learn faster and are more conscientious than boys.

But more of them drop out. And those that stick tend not to be great centers. I suspect it is a personality thing. They tend not to be assertive enough to say my way or the highway. And the crap bothers them more. We go to great lengths to punish offenders, but it's hard to prevent it from happening in the first place. And then the damage is done..........

 

Actually between myself and a clean-freak wife plus 2 small kids the laundry gets done about 5 out of 7 days.

 

As my younger daughter said about her sister, "She's a good referee. She's bossy."

Being a referee takes a certain personality. In my experience, guys are too casual about learning the actual Laws of the Game, as opposed to soccer myths, like they have to ask for 10, any contact between hand and ball is a foul, etc. Women are much better at learning the Laws and then applying them. The profile of referees by grade that I worked up when I was SRA showed that a majority of grade 9's were female, roughly 40% of grade 8's were female and almost no grade 7's were. This may be related to the age demographics. Lots of youth referees but the largest single reason for not renewing was graduating from high school. My state has very few referees in their late 20's, and no women. The numbers start rising again as guys move into their later 30's. That's the point at which my older daughter stopped due to the competing claims of kids and career.

 

And no doubt effectively employing what @Law5 has aptly described as the "disdainful older sister" approach.

 

That is my observation as well. That is part of what makes a good ref. You gotta want to tell people what to do. And not be deferential.

 

Hopefully, she will get back into it when her kids become refs.

I became a ref because my oldest son wanted to and there was no way I was gonna drive him to games and just sit there. So I got certified also. The next 10 years of reffing with my 2 boys are among the best times of my adult life. I tried to get my wife out there too, but she's not having any......

 

Yeah but she's enjoying it almost as much as you are.

 

Your experience almost exactly parallels that of one of our now retired female referees. She only took the class because she had to take her son to referee class and wait for him. She ended up a State Referee and had the whistle for a state high school championship game. A five foot nothing soccer mom, with a concealed weapons permit.


My second and older grandson will not become a referee. He has a serious medical condition. The first and younger is only a year and a half, so he's got some ways to go.
My daughter's career will probably preclude a return to refereeing, either on the field or in an administrative role.

 

Confidence is good. Braggadocio is not. Sounds like they could use a little attitude adjustment - along with a little more training/mentoring in foul recognition.

 

It is, of course, a balance. I suspect that most who ref long term have gone through a phase when authoritarianism took over where all that is needed/wanted is authority. It is a challenge to take abuse and stick to your guns without going over the top. I have referred people to Kipling's "If" before (with a minor edit . . .):

If you can keep your head when all about you ​

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
. . .
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a [Ref, my friend]!

 

Here was my view from the center circle this afternoon. That’s Brooklyn on the right and Downtown Manhattan to the left. Brilliant Day.

 

Best reason not to leave the center circle I have seen in a long time!!