Help please - my husband and I need perspective. My child was recruited this year to play on our growing club's new elite top team. My player has played at the 7,9,11 positions exclusively for the past 3 years and was on the club's #2 team at the 9 position last year and had a very successful season and led the team in scoring. When recruited this year the coach stated my child would be in an "attacking position". Now the coach is playing my child at the 2 position making my player feel very upset and frustrated. I understand the coach has discretion over playing positions, playing time, etc but if we would have been told our child would be playing defense we would have turned down the offer. We are bewildered at this choice but it appears the club was not able to recruit enough players overall for this new team especially defensive players so my child was placed in this position. My child (to our eyes) is much stronger at the offensive positions than the players who are rotating through there. While playing some defense would be great for development, not playing any offense will kill my child's love of the game. We have voiced our concerns to the coach but my child played only 2 again today. Now what? We would be happy to move on to another club and don't want to be crazy soccer parents but this situation is driving me crazy! Thanks for any advice.
First off can you move? Not only does the club likely have to release you but you may need to consider that they will not. If that is the case the only way out is if you find a different club/team that plays in a different league. PM me if you want - I can try to help.
Why did they have trouble getting enough players for the top team? Usually players on the #2 team are fighting to move up if there's a spot. What did the coach say to you when you voiced your concerns? Did he or she provide a rationale for why players are playing certain positions or did they politely listen and offer no insight?
Quite a lot to digest… First, I agree with Volk…it may be possible to move at this point, but it will likely be challenging to do so, even if you have other options…given your current team is tight on players, I wouldn’t expect them to willingly release your player… With that said, I have a few comments in the spirit of making the best of a bad situation… At the 2 spot (right fullback/wing), your player should be playing box to box; so your player should be getting into the attacking 3rd, at least in a supporting role….no, you won’t score a lot goals from the 2 spot, but it does have some attacking responsibility, far more, then say, the centerbacks…this is also one the more physically demanding positions on the field; requires a lot of stamina to play box to box…perhaps this is why the coach is playing your player here…. Which leads to another thought and one that may come across at little harsh, but I don’t mean it that way….does your player love soccer or do they love scoring goals? Would your player rather play the 2 spot on a higher level team theoretically playing with and again better players or play on a lesser team, at say, the 9 spot, scoring goals against weaker and lesser players? Changing positions is sometimes the price you have pay to move up a level. I make no judgement, but I will say, there is a LOT more to soccer then just scoring goals….Perhaps this is an opportunity for your player to expand their love of the game; to learn there is more to love about soccer then just scoring goals…. Even if it is a short term opportunity; you can also make a change next year…soccer development is a marathon, not a sprint…even if your player has to suffer though the one season in a less than ideal situation, it’s not going to ruining them…most kids deal with bad season or two…it’s not the end of the world… And my final point, as parents we often amplify what our kids are feeling/going through, both the positive and the negative….not saying you are doing this, but it is worth double checking yourself on…I would make damn sure this situation is a so soul crashing to your player as you think it is and/or that you can’t refocus them on the more positive aspects of the situation/opportunity… With all that said, I sincerely hope things work out well for your player, regardless of what path you choose….
Many players are choosing to play high school instead of this league. My child does love playing offense and was very successful last year on the #2 team (other clubs and parents from other teams made it known they wanted to recruit her to their teams so this is not just her parents saying she was doing well). The top team did not do very well overall last year and our #2 team beat several teams more than once the top team could not beat. So the offensive players from last year basically just kept their spots (the top scorer from last year's #1 team chose not to play in this league). If there were amazing players taking the offensive spots on this team we would be thinking harder about the whole situation but that's not the case. I also wish the club would have been more transparent with their plans because we had no idea they would be asking her to play a brand new position at the U15 level. There's definitely club favoritism/politics going on - club has gone through a merge in the past couple years and certain players got ahead just because their previous coaches were kept on and kept their original teams largely intact resulting in players from the other club getting the shaft. I feel like I have seen enough from this club to know that the kids are not the priority. I want to keep it fun for my child and since this "top team" is not going to be so great I think moving to where my player is wanted and playing high school is a much better option. I do appreciate the comments though.
I fully support the HS option…but be forewarned, there might be even less guarantee of being able to play a specific position going that route…HS is all about winning, HS coach will play players in positions that maximize those chances…not so much where players wants to play or would have more fun playing…not saying that she won’t get the position she wants, but that she needs to be prepared to take whatever position is given/needed for her to play….
Totally agree about HS. It's only for 2 months but there is something special about playing for your school. She will also make new friends which will be good since she will be a freshman. Agree it's more for fun than anything else.
I would also add that many high school coaches play substandard juniors and seniors over very good freshman and sophomores. The argument always boils down to "You'll get you chance when you are an upper classman". While your daughter may be a great player, if she makes Varsity expect her to get maybe 15 minutes of playtime if the pool is large. And you may even run into the same problem there that you have now. As I mentioned in my PM, give it 3-4 weeks. Dont say a thing and the after that see if your daughters emotion changes. She may start to like defense and then if so, she now has mastered a new position. These kids are all over the place. Let them figure it out for a period of time. If she hates it then look at your options.
Your child should be able to play all over the field. What if her HS team has a couple of superstar "offensive" players but lacks solid defenders who can also generate offense ala Crystal Dunn? This may be good for her development. And truthfully, complaining about not being on "offense" kinda sounds like something a rec kid and parent would do.
I expected these kind of comments and agree with you to an extent. HS is more for making friends and only lasts a couple of months so position is not important. Big difference between that and spending thousands of dollars and traveling all over the country on a gamble that things will turn out ok. Also would be fine splitting time between offense and defense but that doesn't appear to be the plan. Coach did not give any reasons why my child was put on defense and it appears largely due to the player shortage. I guess that's why I titled this bait and switch - Is it ok for a coach to recruit you by saying you will play offense and then put you at defense in a position you have never played before? If they would have been upfront about it we wouldn't be in the position we are in now. Don't most kids play the same general position every year by high school? Would everybody really be OK with this if it were your child and your child was upset about it?
First, recruiting kids can be an ugly business….there is a reason recruiting has a well-deserved bad reputation…. Second, kids should be playing all positions earlier on…i.e. before HS… With that said, it’s not that uncommon for a players position to change around this age (around or going into HS)…not that it always happens, but not unusual at all…. There is a rule of thumb that I tend to agree with that states players move backward (positionally) on the field, rarely forward… As kids get older, the elite pool of player, in any given area, tends to gets smaller (ymmv), as result, something has to give…while strong players can be playing defense along, many strong players will come from the forward and midfield positions…many times, more forwards and mids then spots actually needed or available, like I say, something has to give; someone(s) has to move… I think the issue some are having is you seem to be taking the attitude that moving your daughter to defense is a demotion, a slight or that’s she is or will be less a soccer player for it….I don’t think anyone here thinks that. It may be kinda shitty that the coach promised something and has been unable to make good on that promise (he should have never made any promises to begin with), but IMHO you/your daughter should be embracing the challenge and opportunity… You can take your ball and go home….or you can suck it up and learn some good soccer and life lessons along the way… I know which way I’d want my kid to go….
Similar to MWulf I have seen a fair number of forwards change position to midfield or defense as they get older. This is not uncommon. I have seen it happen as late as HS Junior year. From my experience the change you describe is possibly the most common: 7&11's (wings) moving to 2&3's (outside backs). And jumping on to ppierce Crystal Dunn comment, Crystal won the NWSL Golden Boot 3or4 years ago. This year she helped the US win the Womens World Cup as an outside back. On a positive note I know a few girls personally that this happened to. They were not happy the first week to 1 month, but by 2-3 months after the switch they loved it.
No, I don't think everyone would be OK if they felt the coach lied to them to get them to join the team. I do think most are perfectly fine with their kid changing positions as a result of joining a better team. Though I have to admit, based on the limited information, I'm not sure what the draw is for the "top" team if they're scrambling for players, losing to teams that the #2 team beats and is coached by someone who either misleads or communicates poorly.
Think of it as a chance for her to grow as a player. By playing defence she will get a better understanding of how defenders position themselves which will help her as a forward. She will also get better at passing the ball under pressure. And at the end of the day everyone is defending when you don't have the ball. Learning to jockey and defend is never a waste of time. I personally wouldn't say anything to the coach. R/L back is a great position if your daughter is fit. Plenty of opportunities to score if she is good. Any position is better than on the bench!
My kids have played defense (with a few games at mid) pretty much their entire careers. DS, by virtue of a camp he attended, got invited to be part of a team that went to Spain to play in the MIC tournament. That team, made up of kids from the eastern part of the US, only had one "natural" defender... DS. The other defenders were pulled from forwards and mids. The mom of the other center back (usually a forward) came to us before one game and said "I don't understand how you handle the stress. If <son's name> messes up as a forward, he might lose the ball or we don't get a goal. If he messes up as a defender, it can lead to a goal for the other team." Learning defensive skills and being able to implement them when they absolutely, positively HAVE to be done is a good thing. I understand your disappointment, but I think if you look at the big picture, it will help your DD in the long run. Kids will also "feed off" their parents. So if you make any kind of statements of how it's unfair and she should be up the field, she'll take that to heart. The best thing, IMO is to take the stance "yea, it might not be want you want, but it's good to learn another position, and it's because the coach sees what a good athlete/soccer player you are."
I felt the same thing last year when my 06 was moved to outside back. In the end though it made sense. It was the first year of full field and not every kid grows at the same rate or time. My son had the fitness and speed to get forward and get back. On top of all that, he loved it! He loves to dribble and there are plenty of times as an outside back you get a lot of open space to drive into, work 1-2's with your winger or forward and keep going forward. Goals are less to be sure but the ones you get are spectacular, plus plenty of assists and "hockey" assists (if there was such a thing). His play got him called up to the first team so it's been double good. Now, as others have caught up on the growth curve, he's moved back up the field to center mid and to tell you the truth, I kind of miss seeing those bombing runs from outside back. On a side note, it's also funny what different coaches will do. On his middle school team, he'll play center forward (and his club's center forward ends up on the wing) His ODP coach also puts him at center forward. Both coaches that put him at forward are English, so I'm not sure what that means but that is the only common denominator.
I'll add that my 05 son moved himself from playing midfield and forward to left fullback at about U12, much to our bewilderment since he'd never show any inclination to play defense (I started a thread somewhere in here worried my son had been pigeon-holed as a defender, and the LB at that, the position other players, less-knowledgeable but very-vocal parents, ..., seemed to believe was the least important on the field). But on that team, he had noticed that the right fullback almost never left the field, and spent significant time up in the attack. My son had the same experience on the left, and that proved to be true through two different coaches and all the way through U15 (which ended in the spring). We eventually figured out that both coaches built their teams from the back line forward, building possession from the back and assuring that games (even against superior opposition) almost never got out of hand. Typically, four of the best six or so players were always in the back four. And the two fullbacks played 90-95 percent of all the available minutes (picking up assists, scoring the odd goal, ..., along the way -- it's fun when you have a game or even a tournament when the bulk of the offense is originating with two fullbacks), while being counted on to go end line to end line the whole time. My son's a far better player now than he was when he made the switch. At summer camps, my son has been pegged as a forward at times (and done well), and in this first season of high school he's playing everything from CB to CM to F so far (HS coaching, the little bit I've seen, honestly baffles me). I understand feeling like you've been misled, but I honestly believe that learning to play fullback (assuming the team wants its fullbacks to attack -- and if it doesn't, that might lead me to consider a different club long term) and doing it against what I take to be tougher competition will make her a better player. The way the game works more and more, every player on the field has to be able to press and defend, and virtually every player out there has a role in the attack (CBs included). And I'd echo what Sam Gordon said above about the stakes being higher in the back, and the parents of kids who play up top not really understanding that until they have to experience it (goalkeeper parents, you have it worse, of course, and have my sympathy). That pressure, I think, makes better players, players who are calm under pressure. My son's team has become pretty good at playing out of the back under tight pressure, and doing it without breaking a sweat (while the parents all cringe). Best of luck -- hope she has a great fall.
A lot of very good comments in here and probably not much more to add, but I'm not doing anything right now... I have a few kids that play. They have played every position except GK, 7 and 11. And all of the positions are all fun to play (and watch). One is in college and after having been a starter there as an 8 was just moved to the 2 (which he never played before). So far he has been more involved offensively than he was at the 8. A few years ago his brother was moved out of the 3 position when he was 15 (which he had played for 3 years). He was in withdrawal for a couple of months until he settled into his new role as a 5, which he has played for 4+ years and loves. Also, few above have suggested giving it a few months for her to settle in. That is good advice. In the meantime please don't let her feed off of any negative emotions that you are having because you are devaluing the role, impact and fun of playing the 2 / 3 vs 7 / 11. I also think that any coach who recruits a player with the promise of playing a certain position is not being honest. Knowing exactly what works best for the team is impossible to know until the team starts to train / play. Regarding playing the 2 / 3 positions, if your daughter is getting frustrated then she is probably not being taught how to play the position. Defense is not all about 1v1 defending. Defensive positioning and offensive movement are more important IMO. If she is finding herself uninvolved in the game then I would suggest finding someone who can begin to teach her, especially how to play out of the back and get involved offensively. YouTube videos (specifically looking for outside backs) or Premier League games are good resources.
Does your team play out of the back? If so- the 2/3 position are probably the most valuable spot on the field. You need skill, composure, awareness, speed and stamina. If the 9 makes a mistake- no big deal. Hopefully she gets a few more scoring chances. But if your back line blows it- it’s a game changer. Embrace the change. Have her be a “soccer player” not a “striker”.
My son was a midfielder--and mostly an attacking midfielder--through most of his club career and HS. His college coach recruited him as a midfielder...and then played him as an outside back for his entire time in college soccer. It was a two-year school, they had plenty of MFs and his coach felt that was the best way to get him on the field. I think it made him a better, more confident, and more competitive player.
I wonder if the OP is even still around…I didn’t get the impression she was hearing what she wanted….
The "My kid has to be striker" phase doesn't really exist among informed parents in competitive youth soccer, particularly once you get out of the tiny kid stages (u10 and below). Good backs make the team, and they are a joy to watch. Coaches build around defenders. Our coaches hide the weaker players up high at the wings or at striker where they do the least damage.
I think a lot depends on the coach. Our current coach plays the strongest player up top but will also rotate the weakest player up there as well. I've also seen a coach marginalize the ACM position with the weaker players.