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Discussion in 'Youth & HS Soccer' started by becomingasoccermom, Apr 7, 2019.
Which coach are you referring to?
We just left our club and the Coach pulled all the girls together to 1) inform them that my daughter "quit" and 2) said "you can still talk to her but do not talk to her about anything related to the club"
talk about taking yourself too serious. these are 10-11 year old girls. this aint the CIA.
This happens - glad you posted that because it shows how crazy some of these programs are!
She had her first practice with her new non crazy club yesterday and it was like a 10 lb weight was lifted off her chest.
Same experience on our side - I bet you feel a whole lot better!
More smiles = pushing herself harder which will drive passion and progress.
Really good to hear!
Its funny because since we left (just last Sunday) she's been in the yard practicing on her own which is something she use to do but hasn't in a long time.
I was just thinking about this conversation on the way to work. Again I am really happy for you. It's very hard to state why there is such a transformational process which is so positive when you leave a club/coach/program that is not suiting them.
You're daughter is going through the same emotional changes and re-finding a passion that mine did. The result is she is playing better then ever - and happy about it. Like your daughter - she is also wanting to play more!
That may not be the case from player to player but it does throw some worth in at least testing the waters too see what other programs are like during try out season.
I think a lot of that starts with parents being honest about the skill of their kids though and understanding the youth soccer landscape moreso.
My daughter is quite skilled. She was just playing not to mess up at the last club due to a Coach who only cared about winning and yelled at her for every little mistake. It was totally holding her back. So we took a step back in competition left the giant ECNL club and I think she will be much happier.
I agree - but testing the water can be fraught with danger - last year my player "tested" elsewhere - for many of the reasons others have mentioned here but it was a huge mistake because unknown to us photos were snapped - posted on insta - and her then coach was pretty upset - so we now fear "testing" unless you know for sure that you can no longer stay at your current club. Too many hard feelings to overcome.
It's youth soccer - again - why would you want to be at a club that is going to penalize your player for that?
If the product was decent to begin with, the correct response would be to ask the player/parent why they tried out elsewhere? How can I improve your players experience so that what ever ocurred during the season doesn't happen again?
This is crazy!
Somehow some of these clubs have managed to turn this all around to make the parents completely terrified to speak with coaches, DOC's or look elsewhere. Programs should want to move forward - not just in coaching training but also in how they look to grow from the experience of their customers.
I'll kick a shot out to Caulbert Smith (Campton) who met with the parents of a 2006 player that left the club after the parents made their deposit. He gave them back their money and everyone left on good terms. He took the time to understand and then did what most clubs would never do.
I hear you but at the ECNL/DA level it does not appear the primary goal is the "player experience" ......
As stated in another thread, no club/team is prefect…a club that gets hinky about something like this, at the end of the day, might still be the best club/team for that kid…I think parents are justified to be a little cautious…
I agree its crazy and stupid…
Also remember, not all of us live in a buyers’ market….
Why do people on here keep referring to their football club as a "product"?
This is football we're talking about here. Not a bar of soap.
Yeah I shouldnhave said service.
Your intention was clear.
Read through some of this...just had all the same experiences...my kid is good, and she was frustrated on her club team because most weren't as dedicated and as athletic as she was. So on tryout day, she did two tryouts, one with her current club and then one right after with the bigger more competitive club. She made both "A" teams and then had a decision to make...from there it was all her decision to make...we gave her the pros and cons and thats it. She decided to go to with the bigger competitive club because she wants to be challenged. It was not easy telling the coach and parents who we are close with about her decision. Surprisingly many of the parents said it was the right call as she was too good for the club and it was time for her to move up a notch. Thought that was cool...the club was certainly disappointed but they weren't rude either, at least not to my face..lol.
I agree with a lot being said here...the coach of the new club had certainly already seen my daughter play and that helped a ton. And she already knew some of the girls and parents on the team that I am sure were giving the coach input.
Anyway, this youth soccer thing is nuts...mostly for the good, as we have had a blast! Its so fun watch these girls grow their skills and compete.
I find a lot of this thread quite bizarre to be honest,
As a parent you should only have one job: to do what is best for your child.
I can't believe people are posting up about what other parents/coaches might do, say or think about their child's decision to join another team Put your child's needs first, what ever they may be.
Two tryout's in a day? If fatigue is not an issue, I can't see any reason why this would be a problem. If your child wants to go to five tryout and feels they can do this physically and mentally, what's the problem?
Just sharing some experiences Eyebrow...don't see anything wrong with that. But you are right, do what's right for your kid should always be #1.
Unfortunately that's what crappy coaches and clubs do - as has been outlined many times in this topic.
Youth soccer is not a past time in the US - it's a business (maybe with exception to some stand alone rec organizations). Everything is a charge or what we call "allocation".
Clubs use passive-aggressive means to keep players in line. They dangle the opportunity to play up or an a higher team to retain players.
This basically comes down to a complete lack of knowledge from parents regarding the industry. They got the money but they do not have the ability to step back and really evaluate their player against a landscape of clubs, leagues, terms and so on which they have no clue.
And everyday a new club that thinks they have the answers, pops up with little to no resources - no experience and no clue.
Welcome to youth soccer in Illinois!
Are we presuming everyone knows what is best for their kid?
Ask the child. It's their sport, it's their free time.
I'd say for 85% of children the answer would be: are they having fun, are they showing some improvement?
I get that football in America is run for profit and it's a bit of a minefield for parents, but I'd still don't get why parents would care about the thoughts of other parents when deciding what's best for their child.
Surely if it's a service you're paying heavily for, it'd make it easier to up sticks and leave if your child wasn't happy with the coach/team or league they were playing in? Why care what the coach thinks? Why care what other parents think? I'd only be bothered with the thoughts/feelings of my child.
I'd love to coach in the states. It's sounds like a real challenging environment. I love the enthusiasm the kids have for the sport and the dedication shown by the parents for their kids.
Do you have kids?
Giving advice to parents to not take advice from parents is one of the most ironic pieces of advice one could give about taking advice.
Here is some other advice for parents: seek out input from your child, spouse and others... get another view from a respected source such as your parent, a respected coach or friend, talk to people in the same boat and people who have already gone down the path. Be smart enough to filter the input, put it into context with your family’s values and make the best decisions you can. Try to take the long view and avoid making decisions out of frustration, spite or jealousy. Teach your child about decision making as part of the process.
If you end up going 100% with what some other parent says or 100% with what a 10-year-old says you might find the outcome isn’t ideal...it is unlikely any one person has all the answers...especially on a message board.
Asking other people what is best for your child? Parenting by proxy You must be mad.
It's the child's sport, their free time and their choice. It's really that simple.
While totally agreeing with Terrirer1966’s comment, that no one has all the answers…but sharing experiences and getting advice from American Parents navigating the same American youth system would seem a tad more relevant than, say, well, from just about any other source….
When getting advice about anything, one should always consider the source….