He complains of a lack of opportunity to get young players competive games.  Never mind that he would rather bring Ritchie Williams out of retirement than play one of his own prodigies in a competitive match, even an early round USOC game against Old Fart Amateurs United.

Not the Galaxy Reserves, but Close

Well, it turns out that Bruce’s George Allen Syndrome is not entirely irrational.

According to this summary of the research on the brains of the young,

“By the end of the twenties, the profile of
cell-to-cell contacts reaches an adult pattern and
the number of connections reaches a steady state
that persists until old age.” Emphasis added.

Accordingly, before that ripe age such things as emotional intelligence and impulse control are a bit iffy.

Apparently, Mike Magee is just getting warmed up.

Arena’s patience with older players who never learn – I’m lookin’ at you, Dema Kovalenko and David Beckham – is yet unexplained.

Jack McInerney turns 20 today. Happy Birthday, my Chattanooga conncections homie, and enjoy the cake. Then spend some time compensating for your youthful impulsiveness with some meditation, so that in the future you will not have to sit out games you are perfectly fit to help your teammates win.

Mariner Righting the TFC Ship

For Toronto FC and Philadelphia Union, that scenario has been just the ticket for improved performance. The benefits of Paul Mariner kicking himself downstairs are chronicled by Mike Ulmer of TorontoFC.ca.

Of particular interest in that article is the description by Ryan Johnson of Mariner as a “great player’s coach.”

“He knows what makes us comfortable, what makes us happy, what doesn’t make us happy. He’s got a good sense of our emotions and he operates off of that.”

Similar praise adorns John Hackworth’s tenure in Philadelphia. In the linked article from Major League Soccer Soccer, former U.S. international Brian Maisonneuve says,

“When you listen and you’re honest, players love that. He is a player’s coach, and I would venture to say that every player that’s played for him has really enjoyed it.”

That a happier dressing room is part of the explanation for improved performance is no surprise in the case of Philadelphia. Less so in Toronto. Former TFC boss Aron Winter is courteous almost to a fault. Piotr Nowak, well, not so much.

Nowak decided suing the Union and filing his termination letter with the action was a good idea, allowing the whole world to see these gems from the letter outlining his sins:

“physical confrontations with players and officials during a Team game resulting in a fine and multi-game suspension, …interfering with the rights of Team players to contact the players’ union with concerns, …subjecting Team players to inappropriate hazing activities and engaging in behavior that put the health and safety of Team players at risk.

…making disparaging remarks to third parties regarding Club, its management and its ownership.

…requiring injured players to participate in strenuous training activities, not allowing players to have water during such activities despite temperatures in excess of 80 degrees, ignoring the
advice of the head athletic trainer regarding which players are healthy enough to play in games and participate in training sessions and creating an atmosphere where medical issues should be
hid from medical staff and not treated.”

Ouch.

TFC players did not have to put up with anything like that, but there is more to the emotional intelligence Johnson praises in Mariner than good manners. He appears to know how to push the right buttons.

Tactical adjustments in both places are also part of the difference. Philadelphia now plays more like TFC was trying to and vice versa. Matching personnel to tactics was a struggle for Winter, and despising those who succeeded seemed to be a problem for Nowak.

Of course we have a counter example this year. While TFC has gone 4-3-4 under Mariner in MLS after a 1-9-0 start and won going away in its opening CCL match, and Philadelphia under Hackworth has gone 5-3-0 after a 2-7-2 start, there is Portland.  They were 5-8-4 with a -8 goal difference when John Spencer was fired. They are now 5-12-4 with a -17 goal difference.

Like Hackworth, Spencer’s replacement Gavin Wilkinson carries the “interim” tag. Unlike Hackworth, Timbers owner Merritt Paulson has made it clear that Wilkinson will not be the permanent coach and has said he would hire a replacement in the offseason. In so doing, he set up the very “weak insider” dynamic that makes only change for the worse likely. Paulson signalled to his team and to the fans that things are really messed up, and that he is not going to do anything about it until the season is over, thereby making this season a write off.

Chastain Conquers the World (with help from a few friends)

I want to be proud of Hope Solo. I am a fan of United States soccer and inveterate booster of same.

I am happy that the United States has a talented goalkeeper.

I am happy that the United States won tonight.

I am happy that, while I was visiting a very dear family friend today in Richland, Washington, where Hope Solo set scoring records before becoming a brilliant goalkeeper, my friend informed me that a member of her church was a proud grandmother of Hope Solo.

That is where I stop being happy.

I was visiting my friend and someone she is helping primarily to do what I can to help both of them. My partner consider’s this friend his second mom and considered this visit very important.

We did not return in home to witness either the U.S. Women or the Seattle Sounders in live action. As important as our business in the Tri-Cities was, Bill Shankly’s ghost can explain why this was a sacrifice

I came home to find that both the U.S. Women and the Sounders won. Yay!

I also came home to find that a controversy had erupted because of “tweets” Solo had made objecting to criticisms U.S. hero and sports bra champion Brandi Chastain had made of the defending and goalkeeping during her commentary of the match on television.

Apparently, somewhere, this video with commentary is available. It is not available on any link I can find made available by NBC.

I would gladly endure any commercials NBC and its sponsors would inflict upon me should they make this video available. But no such video is available by any link they make extant to me.

Is Hope watching some other video in GB that has Arlo and Brandi? She complimented Arlo, and, truth in reporting, I am a Sounders fan, Arlo is a former Sounders anouncer. So, either HS has found a link I have not, or someone has recorded a U.S. broadcast and replayed it to her. Which she went through pretty damn quick, but I do not want to prejudge her comments without having seen what she criticized.

But I know Arlo is a homer, and I am a big Brandi Chastain fan. I observed her jersey waving live and in person at the Rose Bowl.

So, if Richland’s own, Sounders Women’s own, my friend’s friend’s granddaughter wants to accuse Brandi Chastain American Hero, I want the audio and video available to me on the interwebs, and I am very curious as to why it isn’t.

What contractual limitation can there rationally be against making more money from a broadcast already shown? Why not force me to watch a bunch of commercials or run commercials across parts of the screen while I view what I need to see? I realize I am merely a “citizen journalist,” but if more access can be had by handing over cash to NBC or IOC, that is called a sponsorship, not journalism. And if I tried to trade on my Sounders connections, such as they are, or my friend’s social connections to pour gas on what may be a stupid fire before I even understand what the fire is, I might lower myself below blogger level and become what passes for a reporter by some current standards I do not accept.

It’s not, Gentle Reader, that I think I can rate myself as a journalist, “citizen” or otherwise, it is that what “reportage” we do get is merely a commercial commodity, and one obviously incompetently marketed, however competently narrated by Arlo White (and probably competently commented by Brandi Chastain, if only I had the proof).

Meanwhile, the USA women have won both their games and advanced to the elimination rounds. That is another thing I might have more to say about if I could see the freakin’ video that no longer has much, if any, commercial value, and what little it has will be gone by the time it is available, if ever. The only commercial value remaining is the same, Gentle Reader, that you are familiar with – ads pertaining to your click habits and mine.

Beau, call your office. The Olympics is a wonderful, fantastic event, if only we could watch it.

The rules of competition in MLS mean you can’t just buy your way to success. Roman Abramovich style. It is vexing for people like Phil Anschutz, who had to wait while his minions sorted out how to translate his megabucks for stars like Donovan and Beckham (and others who did not work out so well, including “star” manager Ruud Gullit) into success.

It is vexing for people like Joe Roth in Seattle, who has been rewarded in his investment by spectacular gate receipts and U.S. Open Cup trophies, but nary a playoff series victory and no sniff at M.L.S. Cup.

It is vexing for people like Jorge Vergara, who thinks you can just import tradition and expect Mexican Americans to buy it in droves and for success on the pitch to be the natural result of some supposed superior pedigree.

But parity does mean that poor teams are never far from turning around.

We have seen the evidence of that this season, both in mid-season turnarounds and in early season changes of fortune that continue to now.

Did we really think a Dallas decimated by injuries to the star of the famous 2010 campaign and beset by other subsequent injuries was really the worst in the  West?  Results have been uneven since the return of David Fereira, but the ovrall trend is up. And tonight’s result is very, very up.

San Jose had a bit of fall off after squeaking in to the 2010 playoffs, but they have gone from mid-table pretenders to the dominant team in the league. In the challenging times, the owner (“Investor/Operator” in MLS Speak) said that he didn’t care what the fans thought, he had confidence in John Doyle and Frank Yallop.  His poor PR sense notwithstanding, his confidence in the soccer sense of Messrs. Doyle and Yallop seems to have been well placed.

Toronto started this season 0-9-0 in MLS play. Even before their coaching change, they started to turn things around, garnering a fourth consecutive Whatever Cheesy Disreputable Sponsor It Is This Year Canadian Championship and a league win. Fortunately for Paul Mariner, the turnaround has continued.  Signs of solidity from mid-table teams ahead of them in the playoff chase, such as wins today from Houston and Columbus, make a playoff spot this year daunting, but encouraging international results like today’s draw with Liverpool and success in the group phases of CCL, plus a run at respectability in MLS, might keep the fans engaged. These fans deserve something to root for, even if the richer among them love to show up disguised as empty seats. Making the MLS playoffs, finally, might be a tall order for this year, but only because the hole they dug themselves is the biggest ever. If recent form continues into next year, they will be the New San Jose next year.

But discussions of current soccer events, unfortunately, cannot be confined to soccer merit. As a Washington resident and partner of a Hanford High graduate, I am happy to find Richland’s own Hope Solo on the cover of the Newsweek, even if I only get Newsweek because it is a freebie associated with my support of NPR, because Tina Brown has not yet succeeded in debasing Newsweek enough to make NPR refuse her money. But I understand Hope Solo did not show up in my mailbox because of any deep understanding of Solo versus other goalkeepers that Newsweek spent millions uncovering. It’s all about marketing. And the difference between Newsweek and NPR and Gatorade gets blurrier all the time.

I, curmudgeonly “seaoned” observer that I am, cannot think that this anouncement of MLS cutting ties with Boy Scouts of America, has nothing to do with BSA kicking out a mom who happened to be gay as a den mother. Call me a cynic, but MLS has gotten enough grief from its initial association with BSA, that it has made a calculation that further negative publicity from further discrimination by BSA makes association with BSA a net loss.

Why do I care that Newsweek doesn’t know a GAA from the latest spawn run numbers? I don’t, other than their contribution to the general decline of journalism and Western Civilization, which is not the focus of this blog.

So what is bugging me? It may be because of this. The Empire Supporters Club sang a song to the effect that the Sounders are somehow deficient as worthy opponents because they engage in the passive role of a certain homosexual practice.  And the only person to take any sort of notice of that is Dan Freakin’ Loney, and he decides that he should point it out so that he can take a pass by saying the song is too stupid and out of date to matter.

He throws in that he did some Mormon bashing back in the day.

That was a nice touch. We now have a major party candidate for President who is of the same faith as the presumed preponderance of RSL fans, so we can wash our hands of that one, right? I came to Jesus, if Dan will pardon the expression, about sexist terminology myself, so it’s all good. No?

No.  Religious bigotry is still religious bigotry. Romney supporters who are obsessed with whether or not Obama is a Muslim are just as silly as ESC members who think it is funny that certain Sounders might prefer their steak medium rare, rather than well done, and just as silly as people who agree with Romney on policy but will not vote for him because of his faith.

Freedom is freedom. Hatred is hatred. Bullying is bullying. Meg Rapinoe will never make as many magazine covers as Hope Solo because of bigotry.  And it matters if ESC makes homophobic chants, and they should be disciplined for doing so. You wanted to play “good cop,” didn’t you, Dan? Congratulations. I will take it in a certain place for you. As to whether I like it, not if you force it on me. It still hurts, after all these years.

And the fact that it is still ok, apparently, for ESC to make homophobic songs or chants, when blatantly racist songs would get their homophobic asses tossed, means I have to stand up for basic decency when I would rather celebrate the turnarounds of TFC, FCD, and SJE.

We have an update to the “manly soccer” files. The courted, well-compensated, and much-ballyhooed manager of our men’s national team said this:

“I think we need to get an edge – more nastier,” Klinsmann said. “Maybe we’re a little bit too naïve. Maybe we don’t want to hurt people. But that’s what you’ve got to do. You’ve got to do that at the end of the day. We’ve got to step on their toes more and get them more frustrated and make a case with the referee maybe that’s wrong for us, not only the opponents. There was a clear penalty on Herculez Gomez in the second half not given. But it is what it is.”

His first and most immediate job is for the USA to qualify for the World Cup. When it comes to the USA playing in “nasty” places away down south, he is the naive one. He is assuming qualification for the World Cup.

Either one of two things will happen: Assuming we somehow manage to defeat Antigua and Barbuda with the five guys we have left after half our starters get sent off, our players will carry on with their manager’s idiotic vision of hacking our way to glory while playing high pressure, high speed one-touch football and somehow not get red-carded into oblibion in Guatemala, or…

Our Bradley-experienced and other-wise experienced guys will restrain themselves and play the best soccer they can within the lineup given, suffer a mere one or two red cards, finish somewhere between one goal down to Guatemala and one goal ahead, having dutifully taken care of A&B, and we will eventually qualify to the next round.

If we have well and truly advanced as a country because of the technical emphasis of our European coach, such a modest prediction is not confident enough.

What I see is that we have ever-so-slightly advanced technically, which we would have anyway, and we have a coach who thinks every mistake and blunder is because of some grand flaw in U.S. soccer, and every victory is because of his Master Plan.

He is fielding largely Bob Bradley’s team. A very experienced team.

His complaint against that team? They are naive. Yeah, that’s it. We can beat Scotland because of superior skill and Jurgen’s amazing wonder-tactics, but, if we lose to Brazil, it is because we are “naive” and we don’t want to hurt people enough. And we should whine and foul more, yes, that is the path to qualification in CONCACAF and international glory. Sure. Yeah.

The difference between Scotland and Brazil is that Scotland is happy to let our naive players, some of whom have experience in places most of the Scottish side can only dream of, including Glasgow Rangers, flourish without a fight. And Brazil is tougher than our guys who have tons more international experience than most of them.

Yeah, that’s it.

Or Brazil is Brazil and we played badly, in part because our coach played a rusty Gooch and decided that Bradley should hold while Edu advanced, against the success of the last match and much evidence to the contrary. You want Edu to suddenly feel some Bradley-esque offensive oats? Yes, you ask him to do that against Brazil, rather than against Scotland, the country where he plies his trade. Yes, that makes all sorts of sense – to Klinsmann’s cat or butler or somebody besides me.

John Wooden - Would have been the legendary Wizard of Westwood, but, tragically was fired by Bigsoccer posters for not being "fiery" enough

To those of you happy to have a coach who is “fiery,” I refer you to cross-reference the qualities “fiery” and “successful” among American soccer coaches.

The upcoming U.S. Open Cup tilt between the Fort Lauderdale Strikers of the second division NASL and the San Jose Earthquakes has some fans sauntering down Memory Lane. The NASL I of history and legend (and infamy in terms of business management) had the two teams that originated those brands who both enjoyed the services.

Circa 1978, a certain soccer genius from the North of Ireland, who had plied his trade principally at Manchester United in those dark ages when the English first division was merely known as the first division (and therefore should be forgotten as “un-Premier,” if you follow certain silly record keeping), came to Fort Lauderdale. He had previously graced our shores for the Los Angeles Aztecs. But he came to that land of retirees, spring breakers, and canal-digging bon vivants called Fort Lauderdale having just been reprieved from suspension resulting from a contract dispute with Fulham, a club familiar to America fans.

In that unlikely hamlet, a flourishing of the Beautiful Game was occurring. George Best was preceded there by Gordon Banks and would be followed by Gerd Mueller, Teofilo Cubillas, Francisco Marinho, etc., supported all the while by the should-be Hall-of-Famer Ray Hudson.

Besty would go on to feature on that other coast for the San Jose Earthquakes of MLS pre-history – the team I call the ProtoSmurfs. In 1981, he gave this Best of Best performance, weaving through the Fort Lauderdale midfield defense to score one of his most memorable goals.

Ray Hudson described it as “like watching Fred Astaire on a surfboard, riding a wave, with a Turkish belly dancer thrown in there.” The other blondie midfielder flailing about in the linked video, number 24, was Thomas Rongen, by the way.

Best was brilliant, for sure. But “colorful” is a charitable way to describe certain aspects of his persona. Among my most vivid memories of my times at Lockhart is seeing Best, after being subbed off because he was not fully match fit after serving a suspension, rip off his jersey and throw it at Ron Newman, his head coach. It it had happened in 2008, rather than 1978, I could find video to share with you.

This memory is probably why I find it tiresome that some English anouncers make so much of whether a subbed of player shakes his manager’s hand.  Newman laughed it off and got unfavorably compared in SoFla jockdom with Don Shula, the granite-chinned coach of that other Robbie family concern, the Miami Dolphins. Rick Weaver, the Voice of the Dolphins and the Strikers, said of Newman’s replacement, Cor Van Der Hart, “Let’s see what happens if someone throws a shirt at this guy,” or words to that effect.

To be fair, Newman had won an NASL championship as head coach with the Dallas Tornado and had led the Strikers to the best record in the regular season (what we would now call the “Supporters Shield”) in 1977. He also went on to great success as head coach in indoor soccer with the San Diego Sockers and he would be the first manager of the team formerly known as the Kansas City Wizards.

The move indoors as the primary focus for professional soccer is part of why the Robbies moved the team to Minnesota, where they had a good indoor facility available.

The Strikers were preceded by the less-successful Miami Toros and Miami Gatos and succeeded by an MLS effort called Miami Fusion FC that played at Lockhart. The current Strikers were preceded by the less successful Miami Blues of NASL II, who played a year at Lockhart before rebranding in 2011.

The evidence, so far, is that, if you want to have a first division team in South Florida with something approaching first division attendance, it needs to be in Fort Lauderdale and called Fort Lauderdale Strikers. If you want to have a team in South Florida in the second division with attendance numbers approaching success for that level, you put in Fort Lauderdale and call it Fort Lauderdale Strikers. If you want to have a flop in South Florida, you put it in Miami, or you put it in Fort Lauderdale and call it “Miami.”

Putting a team in Fort Lauderdale and calling it Fort Lauderdale Strikers – success appropriate to level.

Putting team in Miami at any level and calling it any name – not successful.

Putting team in Fort Lauderdale and calling it Miami – not successful.

But, those over-simplifications aside, the flow of American professional soccer continues. When, in the days of the former NASL, a team called the Strikers and a team called the Earthquakes played, NASL teams did not participate in the Grand Old Cup. In fact, the man the trophy it is now named for was an employer of Ron Newman at Dallas Tornado. As a founder of the American Football League which became part of the National Football League and brought on the Super Bowl era that lead to the pre-eminence in American sports of the NFL. But, when the Dallas Tornado, owned by Lamar Hunt, folded in 1981, it was the beginning of the end for NASL I. Of course, Hunt would go on to be one of the biggest investors getting MLS off the ground and his heirs still own Columbus and Dallas.

And now, in 2012, a team called the Fort Lauderdale Strikers general managed by Tim Robbie will play a team called the San Jose Earthquakes in the U.S. Open Cup.  The continuity is interesting to middle-aged farts like me, and especially me, since it is Lockhart Stadium where I first fell in love with the game that night I saw from standing room behind the goal Pele and company snuff out my Strikers, the “real” champions per Eurosnobs by virtue of their regular season record, in the playoffs. Unlike numerous flashes in the pan run out of the back of a high top conversion van, the original NASL Earthquakes and Strikers lasted the better part of a decade and left with their bleached bones a legacy that is the fuel of the  passionate fan bases of the two present-day clubs. Current NeoSmurf ownership is calling on that legacy as it builds toward the long-awaited groundbreaking on a new stadium.

The contrasts with the past are interesting as well. Traffic Sports, owners of the Strikers and several other NASL Part Deux concerns, are not part of the discussion (so far as we know) when it comes to potential South Florida MLS ownership. It’s going to take big money and a solid pitch to the league to get a team back down that way.

No chance of one or two season wonders like Team Hawaii, Oakland Stompers, Memphis Rogues, Connecticut Bicentennials, and so forth in the MLS Old Boys Club. It’s not even 60-90 days anymore. It’s don’t call us, we’ll call you. Frustrating as that may be for fans of Orlando City and other suitors, it’s hard to argue with the results – sustained growth, even in harsh economic times. MLS has ushered a withering of NASL I’s less edifying peculiarities over time, like shootouts and backwards clocks and the absence of a sustainable business plan.

That the bar is set high for MLS ownership is probably understandable to fans in places like the Tampa Bay area (who have a bit of NASL renaissance going, themselves) and southeastern Florida who do not want to be led down the garden path anymore.

So, bravo Earthquakes and Strikers fans. May your future be as stable as your past was colorful.

This is not Torsten Frings Playing Richard III

I am agnostic about whether TFC should fire Aron Winter now. On the one hand, changing managers everytime they restock the toilet paper in the locker rooms at BMO has worked out just peachily, hasn’t it? Not that Winter has not made questionable decisions, like playing a world-class holding mid at center back, or pulling back in a defensive shell at home when you had just scored two on the road against quality opposition. But, when you are 0-8-0, or 0-0-8, as the NASL would have it, every decision is questionable.

And if they fired him, his replacement would be hired by that illustrious sports management firm known as MLS&E, the same outfit that hired Move ‘Em On Mo Johnston, a man without a plan who was retained in the front office on the merits of his .200 winning percentage, John Carver, a man capable of being stunned that Jeff Cunningham should have a slump, and taking sloppy seconds from Chivas USA in Preki, the man who helped turn Bob Bradley’s team into what it is today. More on them later.

Furthermore, the Winter season was meant to auger a new regime of consistency and end to the revolving-door past of TFC that was littered with numerous personal changes, some of which left this outside observer scratching his head – like forcing Danny Dichio into early retirement at a time when the people above him in the depth chart were less effective than he was, for example. Dichio being a fan favorite, that was an early example of TFC management pooring cold water on fan sentiment just for the hell of it. Alienating DeRo, an Ontario native and the most effective player while in club colors TFC has ever had, was another. The check-signing goal celebration thing, yeah, not so cool, but people you treat right and appreciate properly don’t do that.

Winter came in with a Jurgen Klinsman-approved regime of developing a consistent philosophy of training and playing style imposed from the MLS senior team down to the yout’s.  Time to let something take root and grow for once. There were signs of life at the end of last year, and this year, with no cross-conference qualifying from the stronger Western Conference and ten of nineteen teams qualifying, looked like the year for TFC to finally join the half-decent and make the playoffs. And, it was hoped, inspire some of those patricians holding sideline tickets to actually turn up for the games, like the diehards behind the goals who, for the moment, still do, though they can be forgiven if they start wearing bags over their heads.

Not so much. A record for worst start to a season. Breathing down the neck of expansion RSL for the longest losing streak.

As I have been reminded, I am no expert. But I think a Ph.D. in footiology is not required to, Spock-like, raise an eyebrow at some of the allocation of resources TFC has made.  They have two guys who are holding midfielders or box-to-box midfielders and not, though solid players, in any danger of being as valuable to the team as, say, a withdrawn striker or A-Mid with mad skills might be, and they are not as valuable to the team as much cheaper similar players in MLS.

Numbers are not yet available for this year, but last yearTosten (imagine the two little dots above the ‘o’) Frings, a handy man

Frings - A Handy Man

to have to be sure, at least when he is played where he is good, and Juan DeGuzman, a good player but not a world beater, made combined above three million (U.S.D) in guaranteed compensation.

That’s an entire MLS team in under-cap budget.

For that money, you could have Shalrie Joseph, Kyle Beckerman, Juninho, Jeff Larentowicz, Pablo Don’t-you-dare-call-him-Mastroianni-idiot-anouncers-especially-’Celo Mastroeni, Osvaldo Alonso, Davy Arnaud, Dax McCarty, Joel Lindpere, probably three other guys Hans Backe doesn’t rate for no damn reason, plus two or three good center backs, so your good holding midfielders don’t have to play out of position (because a guy from the Bundesliga can play anywhere and be better than Chad Marshall, Omar Gonzales, George John, Jameson Olave, etc. etc. etc., right?).

Of course, that is not a perfect comparison. All of salaries of the players from other teams mentioned above, except for Joseph, the multi-talented one, count one hundred percent against the cap. But most of them are under the cap hits caused by Frings and DeGuzman. Good players? When playing in position, yes. And you don’t always have the luck of Seattle to get a second-division player like Alonso, from that soccer hotbed that is Cuba, on the cheap and have him grow, year-by-year, into the best holding midfielder in the league.

All that qualification aside, THREE FREAKIN’ MILLION DOLLARS on two guys who so far haven’t been and may never be as valuable in terms of producing results as Steve Ralston or Marshall or Gonzales or Alonso or Mauricio Cienfuegos or DeRo were or are or have been to getting points and getting into the playoffs and winning some freakin’ trophies (and even the Canadian Championship may not happen this year, as I am not sure TFC can take NASL Edmonton, let alone Montreal or Vancouver, who, respectively, are first-year and and second-year MLS clubs and both mid table in their conferences), to say nothing of the many, many, many cheaper-but-better strikers than Koevermans, who, so far, looks like an over-priced Dichio.

Meanwhile, away down south in LA-la land, the two home teams are a combined 2-8-1 at home. That’s 0-5-0 for las Goats, and 2-3-1 for the premium-priced Galaxy, the not-so-defending Shield holders and MLS Cup champs.

In the case of the senior residents, the poor form holds away, and it looks as if the good run is at an end.

As with TFC, strange coaching decisions have been made. At home against FC Dallas, Landon Donovan was fouled in the box and LA was awarded a penalty kick. Donovan has converted 30 of 33 penalty kick attempts, a percentage any Seattle Sounders fan is rave green with envy to have in her favor, and he has a pre-kick ritual long and convoluted enough to invoke twelve ancestors, seven wandering spirits, three saints, fourteen angels, and a demon or two in a pair tree in favor of the effort. The Bruce sent forth Keane. Miss.

Then he decided to hold back his best offensive talent against stingy Seattle, then send out his best offensive talent against porous-but-potent (albeit Henry-less) Red Bull Harrison. Loss and loss.

The lack of potency against the Red Bulls could be due to their newly found defensive form. Or it could be that the bloom is off the rose. Donovan is getting a bit up there but may just be in a slump, Keane is ageing and Beckham is ancient.

The lack of defensive form is easier to explain. No Omar. Beckham seems to be retired from thuggery. Beckham sent off is a less common phrase, these days. Kovalenko is certainly retired from his. Some leadership lost with Berhalter retiring. Saunders on personal leave.

The best strategy may be to tell Gaudette, “pretend you are in Bayamon with a one-goal lead in CCL.” It will be hard for the other team to score if seventy minutes of the game is taken up by his stall tactics.

The situation of the Goats is not too terribly shocking, by comparison. Less is expected of them. They have had some down years, but, with signs of improvement last year, they had hopes of rising to mid-level, at least. And they would not be so far from it if they could just claim, after three wins on the road, just one point per game on average at home. No. Nada. Not happening. 0-5-0.

Some are calling for Robin my-name-ain’t-”Frazier”-Christian-Miles-and-many-others Fraser’s scalp. Even with the less-than-ambitious spending on personnel by upper management and the injuries to the first-choice forwards, one might expect more. But part of that expectation came from Nick LaBrocca doing an uncharacteristic imitation of Zizou last year. Also, if Fraser sucks so bad, why is he getting results on the road?

Part of the problem may be the lack of home-field advantage Chivas has. The front office flits from alleged identity to alleged identity, while doggedly sticking to the limiting brand name of “Chivas USA.” What if an America fan wants to root for a local team? They could at least throw her a bone and call it Chivas California or Chivas LA, since the club has made much of wanting to be THE TEAM of CALIFORNIA talent. But, no, they give this potential fan a name that screams “Chivas Guadalajara del Norte, and piss off, you!” That would explain all the Pavel Pardo fans in attendance cheering for the Fire’s winning goal in Carson.

So, their fan base is limited to people willing to be passionate for a “Chivas, Jr.” brand and those not willing or able to spend twice as much to watch Robbie Keane miss penalties or watch David Beckham get sent off or not watch David Beckham because he is in Milan or London.

And this year they have all that lovely vinyl covering unsellable seats to look at that just shouts, “we know there are not enough of you to fill the lower bowl of a soccer stadium, let alone a pointy ball stadium, and even a mediocre and over-priced Galaxy will always draw better than us.” But that vinyl boldy displays that shield trumpeting perennial wannabe status.

Boy, howdy, they know how to build a home fortress mentality, don’t they?

To put it in the English terms that so many fans of the Beautiful Game who reside in the United States, yet fail to be aware of this brilliant individual, might be familiar with, he were a right brilliant lad, and a pity we did not see more of him.

Those familiar with his biography know that he is the grandson of a major league baseball player who died shortly after he was excluded from the 2006 World Cup roster. I recall this personal disappointment because I mentioned it to my partner, who is not a sports fan but understands personal stories. At the time, Wynalda thought he should have been included over Ching, whom he called “McBride with a tan.” I thought he should have been included over Josh Wolff.  Both guys are still playing. Both guys will never accomplish what Twellman has.

He was sidelined barely past 30 and retired thereafter. Why?

It appears, these days, we worry about Post Concussion Syndrome.

Some like his work as an analyst, some think he shows promise, some, most of whom (I suspect) are too young and stupid to care who he is, dismiss him altogether.

But all who care about human beings and their health should take note of the caution MLS now exercises with brain injuries.

Twellman is not the only MLS stalwart to be so sidelined. So far this season, we have seen very little of Juan Pablo Angel, who, like Twellman, is one of the great goal scorers in league history, who, whether struggling with the Galaxy or rampaging with Chivas has provided an interesting comparison with Red Bulls, so far, successful campaign of goals-on-the-cheap, after eschewing a re-signing of the all-time Metro-Bulls scoring leader, with, first, Rodgers, then Cooper. Why has he sat? Concussion worries. The resurgence of Cooper might help to cement justification of jettisoning JPA.

Meanwhile, Seattle back up keeper and Puerto Rico first choice keeper Terry Boss has retired due to brain injury concerns. Pablo Mastroeni (for anybody who wishes to be less stupid and ignorant than Marcelo Balboa and the roughly nineteen thousand people who have sat next to him or have otherwise participated in the mispronunciation games, it is phoneticically pronounced mah-strow-eh-ni. You do not get any sort of culture cred by pronouncing Pablo’s surname the same as the actor surnamed “Mastroianni.” In fact, every time you do so, you demonstrate ignorance and justify Eurosnobbery, so, everyone, altogether, the man’s name is Mah (like a farm boy calling his mother) – Stro (like an ESPN anchor referring to an individual member of the Houston Astros) – Eh (as in short e, no “oy” “oi,” noranysuchagoddamnthingforpetessakehavingnotbeensuggestedbyanylettersbeforeyou) – Knee (as in, “We are the Knights who say, ‘Nee.’”)

For any brilliant person retired or sidelined from this noble game due to avoiding compounding brain injury or attempting to continue in spite of brain injury, we recognize you obtained those brain injuries because you were not shy in challenging for the ball, either to prevent a goal, as in the case of Terry Boss, or in trying to score a goal, as in the case of Taylor Twellman or Juan Pablo Angel, or, in the case of Pablo Please-Don’t-Call-him-”Mastroianni”-because-he-has-earned-the-right-to-be-called-Mastroeni-by-the-cheap-ass-people-wh0-employ-him Mastroeni, in trying to win possession for your team, we wish you the best of success, both in soccer and in your cognitive future generally. As much as we love the brilliant efforts of JPA and Pablo (Notmahstroplusthatgreekguywithbadhairandmusicwhosleptwiththebleachblondfromtv)  Mastroeni, we want them to have full lives, which would include not suffering terrible consequences to prolong the efforts those of us seeing good soccer performed between Sea and Shining Sea might prefer they continue against their best interests.

So I missed the first few minutes of the first half because it was hard to extricate myself from the meeting in which other people were confused about what really constitutes matters of life and death – certainly how we organize the very basis of the economy is less important than the outcome of a soccer game involving the Seattle Sounders. Well, it isn’t, but I had less confidence in that home team.

As things turned out, creating a just society is less of a long shot than a MLS team beating a Mexican team in a head-to-head knockout competition that the owners of the Mexican team cares about.

I thought I was being a realist by pretending I had an important “five o’clock” in taking leave of my wild-eyed do-gooder friends. Then I rushed buying dinner at half time, thinking that, since the Sounders had fought back, I could risk missing a minute or two to feed my family. I should have stayed in the store until completely finishing the shopping for the week.

When I got back, Seattle had conceded AGAIN! [Blasphemic ejaculations here!!!!!!!!!!!!!] Can’t we defend early and at the beginning of a half?

At that point, Santos had scored three goals that I had not seen, but they seemed like poor discipline. And, for the match at hand, the only goal I had seen was scored by Seattle, so we were even on away goals.

Then Santos decided to score lots of goals right in front of my eyes, the last of which made the college boys who conceded against Czechoslovakia in 1990 for the USA look like old pros.

There was a bit of a press kerfuffle earlier caused by Hercules Gomez recalling a conversation with Sigi Schmid in which Sigi said that he had no future in MLS. Sigi was slightly incorrect:

Hercules Gomez with the MLS coaches who disparaged him

Herc had a future in MLS, but not a great one. He went south to find fame and fortune and did.

A complex and multiplicity of MLS coaches found Hercules Gomez wanting.

He has gone on to great success south of the border. That would be in the country that currently has our ass in the Gold Cup and looks to have superior talent to us for years to come. At least, in talent that is recognized.

Whenever I saw those closeups of Herc, I thought that he looked very American. I recognized his body language. Sigi should hire Herc as a consultant to explain to him what he is missing.

Herc was prepared on the night. Sigi got his ass handed to him in spades. I appreciate Herc for apologizing about mentioning that Sigi told him that he had no future in MLS.

Just right about now, Herc has a bit more credibility than Sigi does about what is needed to advance MLS.

Sigi was factually correct that Herc had, if a future, no durable, unquestioned future in MLS.

The question that now needs to be answered is what Herc lacks?

He does not lack the ability to score goals. In either league.

He does not lack the ability to hang with players of sufficient skill to embarass a good MLS team.

He seems to lack the sufficient ability to be mediocre in areas where talent from Americans make MLS coaches uncomfortable.

Nobody has ever accused Herc for lacking in enthusiasm, for lacking in skill, for lacking in work rate. If there is a fanbase anywhere that is disappointed in Herc for lack of dedication, I think it is very small and rare. Hens’ teeth are more common.

Herc politely backed down from directly confronting Sigi. That was class. HIs earlier mentioning that Sigi had cast him aside originally, well, he wants us, his people, to know he has done well for himself.

And he certainly has. Jurgen Klinnsman can protest all he pleases that Herc is on the radar screen, and that he is not prefferring any particular league or country of origin, but scoring in both domestic and international competition at the top level seems to be inferior to being a wunderkind who has not made his first team in Germany.

As for club competition, it seems MLS can be toyed into considering itself competitive, but we still have a long, long, long way to go.

I can’t claim any superstitious thing that Santos could not score in live action when I was not watching. Yes, Seattle clawed one while I was watching. Santos also scored several while I was watching, in addition to the several while I was not watching.

On the last of which, they made Jhon Kennedy Hurtado look like a gymn student. And I watched replays of the ones I missed. OMG (Oh My Gestalt).

On the whole, Seattle looked like the bright students who had good moments, and Santos looked like young teachers before they get fat teaching eager students.

We have a long, long, long way to go. No less of a skeptical personage than Dan Loney had decided that Seattle would lose on fairly level terms being decided by a good jobbing by the referees.

As Dan pointed out, Benjamin Galindo felt himself jobbbed because a ball-to-hand thingy right on the line of the penalty box had not been called. U.S.-based clubs and the U.S. National program fans are still laughing at him for that one. Oh, that not getting a 50-50 call away constituted being “jobbed.”

As it turned out for tonight, Seattle was just, plain inferior. For Adrian Hanauer and his richer partners, there is no blaming Sigi. He got us to ahead at home and even at the half. Turns out that was pretty damn good, given the disparity in talent.

If Bruce can get past Mighty Toronto, he will have to concoct a strategy that takes into account that, without Omar, he is really, really, super-ass inferior himself, perhaps involving mimes, bill gaudette, digging up the grave of some UVa thug from 1940, bringing Dema Kovalenko out of wherever he went , and bribing the Beckham spin machine to say it has something to do with something “business.” This is “business.”

But that is why I love this competition. At least, we have forced the Mexicanos to take us seriously. Now that they have, it is back to school for MLS. Until we prove the Eurosnobs wrong, we are still back at protesting how important MLS is to the progress of the U.S. game, which they don’t give a damn about (if you claim to be a USA fan, and you still don’t credit MLS in that regard, you do not pay attention, or you are an idiot).

God save whoever survives LA v. Toronto. I am rooting for you. But I do not believe Seattle got embarassed because of “bad management.”

In the end, ambition is a good thing, and this thumping advances the cause, unless you think we had a realistic chance of winning CCL against serious Mexican competition. RSL deserves credit for waking them up. Methinks they remain awake.

The level to win CCL seems to be above Alvaro Fernandez and Fredy Montero.  Fernandez scored a goal. Fredy assisted on two goals in two games against Santos Laguna. The latter led the Colombian league in scoring, and the former is a World Cup veteran for Uruguay. Chump change – one needs eleven good men. And a few more on the bench.

Santos Laguna set a very high standard tonight. Until we can beat the likes of them, we need to keep working very hard. We cannot go into a Club World Cup with less than Santos Laguna showed tonight. Or did they seem better than Barca to you?

MLS and MFL in CCL, guess who is Pepe - or is It Herc and Sigi?

As a gay soccer fan of a certain age, I was wondering why a man rich enough, even at a discount, to join the MLS owner club, needs to strip to his skivvies to make money. It might appeal to my vanity at my age, but he is too young and fit to have my insecurity and too responsible as a father to indulge himself, unless it were to buy those kids supper. But I think he has that covered, if not the rest of himself.

The thing about CNN guy is that I believe him. He was really attempting to dis soccer fans.

Except, he didn’t. Well, not the real ones. Not the ones that, among Galaxy fans, the real ones, are annoyed to be associated with Tom Cruise.

In my own work, I need to fund a law practice aimed at helping people too employed for legal aid and too poor to pay lawyers.

If rich people wanted to pay me to show up in my knickers, I would be tempted. Happily, my middle aged dignity is stronger than any beauty and vanity I might have left. David Beckham, unless he has Mohammed Ali’s financial planner, has enough money to take care of himself and Posh, his kids, three or four minor English royals, and fund my charity and many others. In perpetuity.

I thought he looked embarassed in the ad. So it was easy for me to believe he was embarassed about it when it aired. And that his kids were.

A whore who embraces his office because he needs the money is offering a service. One who does it sheepishly because he doesn’t makes a good ad for, well, I won’t trouble you with link, gentle reader.

I thought his assists last season were pretty sexy, though.

Now, if you want to see manly courage that makes us proud of a soccer guy, however bald, it would be a guy who risks his position and much more to oppose phony soccer violence as, he called it, a setup and a massacre.