“hahaha no offense anyone haha”

Posted on April 17, 2012 5:09 am

These niggas sure came out the closet section 8
hahaha no offense anyone haha

gay4soccer.com has fuller details, but basically some idiot Houston fan combined the idiocy of Colin Clark’s “fucking faggot” with the idiocy of MLS’s “you had me at strippers” in Houston’s very first game back following Colin Clark’s “fucking faggot” remark away at Seattle. Yes, that was a long time ago. Houston’s gone a long time since their last game. Well, since their last game that lasted 90 minutes.

We’ve all had to deal with closed-minded, judgmental morons at some point in our lives. My dry cleaner, for instance, gives me dirty looks when I call his attention to the bacon grease stains on my linen-wool-blend slacks. Okay, so I watched For the Bible Tells Me So a few days ago, and Tongues Untied is still on my “to watch” list, and this… weird, just weird FB post is looking more the latter than the former. But “niggas”? For random people on the far side of a stadium? Perhaps this would be better:

These good gents, who are possibly Hamites, have quite indubitably rendered public knowledge their non-hetero-normative sexual proclivities cum gender identity. I refer, of course, to a certain contingent within Section 8. What jolly, riotous sport I find in this! Please note, I intend neither to disparage the character of any individual present, nor to incite division within the community, through the frank and candid flavor of my remarks, but I must declare I find the situation frolicsome, jocose, and comedic. Comedic? Nay! Downright gay!

Now, it is Chicago. They have pro sports teams with names like Bears, Cubs and Bulls. “White Sox” might mean something in LGBT slang, too, for all I know. Maybe involving a certain Rolling Stone cover, and what some men my age, then young boys, did with said cover.

I’m tempted to go off on a tangent about Dynamo girls and over-emphatic declarations of hetero-normative masculinity—I mean, some of them have “tans” so orange they look topless in Dynamo orange when you squint—but I like pretty girls in skimpy outfits as much as the next guy (Blanka Vlašić? Smokin’. Alex Morgan? Not enough paint thinner in the world to clean that shit off. Sports Illuwuh?), and the guy after him, and the guy after him, and the guy after him, and the guy after him, and the guy after him, but—whoa! not the guy after him! Yeah, not that guy! He likes dudes the way I like girls! He watches Blanka Vlašić to see how high she can jump! And Alex Morgan to see how low she can stoop! (She does play for Seattle, right? I am picking on her for a reason here.)

I lost you back at “topless”, didn’t I?

But between fans chucking stuff at Becks and Cakes and… Keano? (I forget who all plays for the Gals) at MLS Cup 2011, and Clark’s nonsense at Seattle a few weeks back, Houston’s already looking shaky on issues of both fan conduct and hate speech. And I support a team whose “fans” chuck things at our own keeper’s head. No, Sporting Kansas City, not whoever-the-thing in Serie C1. I’m sad that happened there, too, though. Is “Double Secret Probation” a thing in MLS? Is Houston already on it, but they double secret don’t know it yet?

Yeah, probably not.

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