MLS Week 29: Like a Lazer into the Future!!
Posted on September 27, 2011 6:09 am
Yes, I know. I know I’ve been unusually flaky lately; I mean, here I’m posting on the same pattern DC United picks up wins. It’s working well enough for them, I suppose, but they’ve still got to prove good on those games in hand. And I’ve got to post consistently before all involved pull the plug…
…and I did plan on posting the past week’s stuff tonight, but the queue of stale newsletters in my inbox made for such profoundly uninspiring reading that I took a sharper interest in my belly button and lost track of time. But, I’ve reloaded by watching the Week in Review (for the first time in months; turns out I miss the portentous commentary), and am now focused like a laser – no make that a lazer because the letter “Z” is from the future – and this post will look to the future! The cool kind of future, like we had in the 70s…
So, to start with a slight tweak on an idea I like: rather than wrap it all up in one day, I’ll post predictions on this week’s of games – the schedule for which starts here and ends here – and come back to wrap up on Sunday. Consider this my marker on that Sunday post. Oh, and despite my love for the event, there’s no way I’m going to try to call the CONCACAF games, not after what happened September 20 & 21..I mean, Toronto winning one of those things? Let’s just say that those hooves slapping the ground in the distance can’t be a good thing…
Right. Week 29, just five to go and the playoff picture already coming into focus…if only at the top and the very, very bottom…let’s pause here to pass on a very special congratulations to the Vancouver Whitecaps, who became the first kid to not get a trophy. What I see happening this week and weekend comes below, in no more than one sentence per game…with allowances for separation by semicolon. Feel free to chime in with accusations of madness/incompetence/and making poor use of my illusion….whatever that really means.
Sporting KC v. Columbus Crew
Respectably brave effort against LA(‘s scrubs) aside, I don’t see the Crew beating anyone; KC win.
Real Salt Lake v. Chicago Fire
Anything but RSL winning will prompt another offer to give away a free, “gently-used” jersey
Philadelphia Union v. DC United
There’s a pattern, you see, so DC will lose this one. They can’t help themselves…
Houston Dynamo v. Chicago Fire
Houston play tough enough at home for Chicago dragging ass across the road to prove fatal.
Toronto FC v. Red Bull New York
Toronto figuring things out mixed with NY’s potentially toxic locker room spells trouble; draw or NY loss
New England Revolution v. Seattle Sounders
After what Portland did to the Revs, I see a draw as a worst-case…still a Seattle win seems more likely.
Colorado Rapids v. FC Dallas
Dallas knows no bogey team like Colorado; with both teams limping, I see the Rapids limp faster.
LA Galaxy v. Real Salt Lake
LA’s creepy consistency – something about it’s not right, I tells ya – points to LA winning, a draw at best.
San Jose Earthquakes v. Sporting KC
The “Buck” stops ‘em in San Jose and Sporting stumbles; a draw or loss to the East’s hottest side.
Columbus Crew v. DC United
Real heads-tails vibe; there’s DC’s habit of alternating wins, sure, but I’m feeling a draw
Vancouver Whitecaps v. Portland Timbers
If you had a must-win and had to play any team in MLS, who would you choose? Exactly. Go Timbers!
Chivas USA v. Philadelphia Union
Another that feels anything but obvious…still, call it a Chivas win and a moment of panic for Philly.
Holy shit. That’s a busy week…we’ll see what happens Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday, and, wait…yes, Sunday. Then we’ll kick it around Sunday.