Category Archives: Telling Professionals How to Do Their Jobs

18

Alta o Baja?

Last year at this time, I was appalled and disgusted that the Galaxy failed to sell out its opener.  The more it stays the same, the less it changes. Or, maybe I’m wrong, and having the league’s flagship fail to sell out isn’t that a big a deal.  The league is …

24

MLS in LA – Marvel Two-In-One

I can’t say enough good things about Alicia Ratterree at The Goat Parade this week, a site I thought would have as much impact on my life as GreatTajikShortstops.com.  Or, for that matter, cdchivasusa.com.  Reaction to the news that Chivas USA will change its name to Literally Anything Else FC …

143

Death to Promotion and Relegation

I know there’s other stuff going on.  There are the big games this weekend, and there’s the looming World Cup draw.  And boy, is that SOB ever looming.  You’ve run through the simulators too, and they look pretty terrifying. But I’m still giddy over Orlando entering MLS.  Tuesday, November 19 …

18

CONCACAF – Proverbs 25:21-22

“Gratitude is a euphemism for resentment.” – Robert Heinlein You’d think I’d get sick of apologizing for being wrong all the damn time…and you’d be correct.  However, I was very, very wrong for suggesting that it would be best if the United States commenced Operation Red Carpet in Panama City. …

10

Lamar Hunt US Open Cup – One Hundred Years of Solitude

DC United is three games away from one of the most unusual achievements in soccer.  Should they fail to beat Philadelphia, Kansas City or Houston this month, they will end the season with three wins – the fewest in MLS history, of course, but that’s not the weird bit.  DC …

52

Promotion and Relegation – the Lower Divisions Speak

I thought it was about time to hear from people who would actually have a stake in whether promotion and relegation were established in American soccer.  I’d like to thank, once again, all the men and women who responded to me – I’ll save my reactions for a later post, …

9

Time to cross the line

Speaking of things we’re way, way behind on.  But with all the sad news about Boston hitting recently, I received a timely reminder about what the Revolution’s Kevin Alston is going through: If they want to help this kid, go to marrow.org. Get registered. Get tissue-typed & be a donor. It …

18

After Everyone’s Gone – MLS 1.0 is within measurable reach of its end

I’ve decided not to get upset about Adrian Hanauer having to campaign for his job.  If they want to make a mockery of the democratic process in order to get some cheap positive PR, well, take it from your old pal Stinky Wizzleteats – that’s something the Seattle Sounders did not invent.  …

55

Because it is bitter, and because it is my league

I should know better, I really should. And yet, here I am, reliably as one of Pavlov’s dogs, murdering valuable electrons mocking the idea that promotion and relegation is feasible for MLS. No, that’s not a mixed metaphor.  The correct response to an article or blog post about promotion and …

24

MLS playoffs – think locally, act moronically

I was on the phone before the ball even hit the net. “Satan?  It’s me.  Luke Rodgers is going to be the hero?  After all I’ve done for you?  Tell me what it’ll take to undo this.” “Okay, Loney.  Five things.  First, who the here told you to call me …