Category Archives: Crap that has nothing to do with anything

10

Disparate But Not Serious

TOPIC ONE: In which fan bases who are so prone to rectoencephaly that they would dare to compare their region to Catalonia, Tibet and Palestine are completely on the side of truth and right So, who owns your supporters club? The answer to that used to be “Who cares, it’s …

5

Chris Klein, I’mma let you finish, but….; or, the hell this isn’t the most important hole in the world, I’m in it

“Navel-gazing ripples” was what Black and Red United called the aftermath of Chris Klein firing up a Galaxy pep rally crowd on Monday, and he/she/they/it are right.  This is where people like Colin Jose and Roger Allaway get to take more deserved bows.  Even ten years ago or so, the …

25

Abandon Hope: Excerpts from the First Draft

“It was the wrong decision. And I think anybody that knows anything about the game knows that. There’s no doubt in my mind I would have made those saves. And the fact of the matter is, it’s not 2004 anymore.  And it’s 2007, and I think you have to live …

17

I’m so bored with the “YSA” – but what can I do?

Last week Commissioner Garber sat down with Brian Straus of the Sporting News.  Well, maybe he stood.  I wasn’t there. By the way, I’m so old, I was all, the Sporting News is covering soccer these days?  They didn’ t used to.  The backdrop of the American societal zeitgeist towards …

20

Morally straight (NSFW) (But unfortunately not the good kind of NSFW, the boring kind)

Back in 2005, I was a religious bigot in public.  A new team from Salt Lake City with a hideously stupid name – I forget what it was, but man, it was complete unironic self-parody – came to Los Angeles, and I thought it would be hilarious if I yelled …

14

Coming up on “Sick Sad World”

(I don’t care HOW old this makes me look.  I’m doing this.  Blame the MLS Facebook caption contest.) This is my stop Have to get off I might go pop Excuse me. EXCUSE ME! I’ve got to be direct If I’m wrong please correct You’re standing on my neck You’re …

35

Love Potion Title IX

And here we are forty years later.  If it weren’t for Title IX, as every schoolchild knows, we wouldn’t have a WPS, and the US wouldn’t be Women’s World Cup champions. Oh.  Awkward. The time has clearly come for someone to cut through the haze of gender politics, fan wankery, …

13

Stinking Badges

And now, a starting XI of the worst logos in the history of the world. AS BARI Having been in business for a hundred years playing against some of the most famous and beloved clubs in the world, Bari has stuck with this misfire for literally decades.  Yes, by now it’s …

6

History of the world, part two

Okay, so, the career paths of Juan Agudelo and Danny Califf have merged.  Let’s see what happens in the Estupiclasico on Saturday.  Conventional wisdom has the blue team on the decline and the red team on a slow, slow rise.  I think conventional wisdom is wrong, but from a national …

14

Best of the crests, part one

I don’t think I’ll ever get a straight answer on this – but why did the Galaxy play at home on Cinco de Mayo, when Chivas USA were not only in town, but played at the Home Depot Center the night before?  Because ESPN demanded the LA-NY matchup?  They could …