Mental Organism Designed Only for Klinsmann
Posted on March 20, 2013 1:13 pm
Has it really been fifteen years since John Harkes was captain for life? Wow.
Anyway, younglings, trust me that whenever the national team is de-captainated, there is, shall we say, a period of adjustment. Trust me even more that compared to the Harkes affair – er, sorry – the current saga is a parade of respect and professionalism. And that’s just in American soccer history. Some day we’ll gather around and talk about Eric Cantona, or Roy Keane, or any Holland team picked at random. If you think this week is some sort of international soccer outlier – well, not to pile on the smarm too terribly, but – I see the bruise you got from falling off the turnip truck yesterday is healing nicely. So how are you enjoying your very first rodeo?
The definition of national team manager is bruising egos. Star players are shunted to roles, brought off the bench, kept on the bench, dropped in camp, or ignored entirely. You literally cannot do the job without pissing off, or on, popular people.
Seriously, what were you expecting? “Klinsi saw through my BS like Superman through Saran Wrap, and I’ll always love him for it”?
But the actual news isn’t news. What makes this news is the stakes. Are the stakes. Whatever. If Klinsmann bungles qualification…well, let’s not find out what it’s possible for American soccer to survive.*
However, there’s not yet any reason to believe qualification is in peril. If literally everything we’ve read about Klinsmann and Vasquez is hideously accurate – well, we’re at home, and the other team has called up Roy Miller. Less than three points would be disastrous, but unlikely.
I know, I know, what if our inexperienced back line decides to, I don’t know, deliberately encroach during penalty kicks or something. How can such a young, green team cope with the pressure in playing in front of a friendly crowd in Denver against a team that has never won in the United States? (EDIT – er, oops. Corrected by readers below. I apologize for the error, seriously. Can’t imagine what I was thinking.)
Okay, not to be flip, but Bryan Ruiz and Alvaro Saborio would be troublesome for almost any US backline. They’re very good, as Panama found out to their considerable cost.
If only we could field defenders who were familiar with Saborio. If only we had a player who was familiar with how Ruiz plays at Fulham. If only we had a ball-winner like Michael Bradley. If only we had a Premiership-level goalkeeper to step in for Tim Howard. Whatever shall we do.
For the Azteca game – gang, we should have been mentally prepared for an ass-kicking in this fixture since the second half of the 2011 Gold Cup final. It’s not like we have a coach who has ever won in Mexico City, either. What?
Of course we’re right to worry. The most likely outcomes for this weekend, pointswise, are, in order: 3, 1, 0, 2, 4, 6. So horrible options are, in total, more likely than acceptable ones. That’s understandable to be concerned about.
And it would be easy to say US fans have the attention span of schizoid goldfish for turning on Klinsmann a year and change after turning on Bradley. But the fan base has grown considerably – it may not be the same people who yelled about Bob now yelling about Juergen. And Klinsmann, unlike his predecessors, came into office promising hope and change, and oh by the way cost something like four times as much in salary as his immediate predecessors. Someone getting paid two million fish per annum ought to be scrutinized very carefully.
As long as we’re fair about it. Brian Straus was shooting fish in a barrel. Which is much more difficult than it sounds. First you have to find a barrel, then get ahold of several cubic feet of fish, and THEN you have to find a way to get the fish in the barrel. They weren’t born in that barrel, you know. Even dead fish are bulky and slippery, and presumably these are live fish, because otherwise why bother shooting them?
But still – a bunch of different lineups? Stupid Klinsmann, choosing to coach a team where players get injured when he has perfectly good Cylons available. Starting inexperienced players? Good point, I guess…except well, now Cameron and Gonzalez do have CONCACAF experience. And will get even more this coming week. Including, frankly, the best option to get said experience – a terrible, intimidating Azteca where, nonetheless, a loss is far from the end of the world.
Yes, new players should have been broken in during friendlies. Stupid Omar, getting hurt last year – that sure was stupid of him. I don’t think it’s unreasonable that the focus is getting experience now for Brazil, rather than squeezing the last bit of juice out of Carlos Bocanegra.
Again, I hate to dismiss people’s worries, but complaining now is like telling me Klinsmann is a worse coach, and his control of the team is more tenuous, than Steve Sampson. I can’t get there. But I can accept difficult games mixed in with taunting from our green friends to the south.
What, you wanted a sport where the US makes everything look easy? Basketball’s ready when you are.
*That said, American soccer would certainly survive qualifying through the backdoor fourth place playoff upset over New Zealand. My theory, which is mine, is that the US does not need to play beautifully to win fans. Wearing a flag while celebrating will be enough. Quick quiz – were the 1980 US victories over the Soviet Union and Czechoslovakia pretty, ugly, or a mixture of the two?
Right – who cares. Who remembers. MLS needs to talk pretty one day, but the US Mint just needs to get to the final tournament, and get acceptable results once there.
Another quick quiz – how impressive, out of context, is beating Algeria 1-0 on a neutral field? That was an awe-inspiring, glorious finish…and it was a rebound off a muffed shot after ninety-plus minutes of pure frustration. Admit it - after regulation was up, you would have greeted Bradley, Donovan and company at the airport with an armload of tomatoes and your best fastball.
After Dempsey’s first-half goal against Algeria was incorrectly disallowed for offside, my tomatoes were already spoken for by De Bleeckere, Hermans, and Vromans (and for that matter, Coulibaly).
Amigos… el Azteca los espera con los brazos abiertos!
The fact that Straus was able to get these unusual fish in that barrel and getting them to be so welcome for a shooting… These fish don’t typically allow themselves to be put in barrels–and certainly if they get stuck in one they are usually wearing a super-anti-bullet teflon fishjacket that keeps them very guarded. Its hard to shoot these fish typically. Its highly unusual for these fish to forget their fishjackets and to so openly stand still for a good barrel-shooting. What you’re smelling and seeing is a lot more fishguts than we’ve smelled or seen for some time. Or ever.
Dan, you are in top form lately. Not that I 100% agree with you, but very well done.
“How can such a young, green team cope with the pressure in playing in front of a friendly crowd in Denver against a team that has never won in the United States?”
In our head-to-head series, Costa Rica’s won four times in the US, although only once in World Cup qualifying.
http://www.nacion.com/2013-03-20/Deportes/tricolor-luchara-el-viernes-por-su-quinto-triunfo-en-la-casa-de-estados-unidos.aspx
“What, you wanted a sport where the US makes everything look easy? Basketball’s ready when you are.”
Exactly. I think that the up and downs, the stumbles and recoveries are a large part of what makes being a fan of the USMNT exciting.
But fanboys can’t handle that, emotionally.
How else can you explain the constant angst over EVERYTHING?
“We’re DOOMED!” Is a cliche, but it’s true. These people simply cannot handle any outcomes other than comprehensive US victory every time out, and because that simply is not possible in, you know, this sphere of reality, they are constantly on edge, constantly predicting the next meltdown that will prove once and for all that we can’t play and everyone must be fired and the next guy has to get to scouting the barrios.
Add to that the journos like TV types speculating before qualifier number one was in the books that the US might only have one point after three, and online writers whose only move is making you fear that the US isn’t going to qualify for the next World Cup (or the next, or the next) and the only thing you can do is laugh.
At you lot, I mean. Not the situation.
Nice job on the snark, Dan. Pretty normal for you.
Unfortunately, you messed up the facts. Also pretty normal for you. As the earlier poster pointed out, Costa Rica has won plenty in the USA.
FIFA has this neat thing where you can look up a team’s all-time results vs. a particular opponent: USA Costa Rica have played 26 times. USA are 10-6-10 (W-D-L). Dead even overall.
And Costa Rica has most certainly won in the USA. Hell, they’ve even beaten JK in the USA, which was the last time these teams met. Or has your brain decayed so much you forgot it? Overall, Costa Rica in the USA is: 4-4-9 all time in the USA (W-D-L). They do better here (4-4-10) than we do there (0-2-5).
Costa Rican wins in the USA:
a) 9/2/11, 1-0 Carson City (friendly);
b) 5/28/95 Tampa, 2-1; (friendly)
c) 2/2/90, Miami, 2-0 (friendly);
d) 5/31/85 Torrance, 1-0 (WCQ)
Not to mention they’ve drawn 2 of the last WCQs here, though the DC match last time was meaningless for us, and meant everything to them.
While I agree with your larger point, you are supposed to be a journo, and it really isn’t that hard to get the facts correct.
Point missed.
Yeah, I blew it, I’m sorry about that.
But just because my facts are wrong doesn’t invalidate my opinion.
….okay, getting facts wrong is exactly the sort of thing that invalidates an opinion, but in THIS case, my opinion is right.
The only thing You missed was, “How long has it been since a coach has been without Landon Donovan.” It’s easy to forget how special Donovan’s run of form was.
Other than that good article. Too many people freaked out over losing an away game.
Wow TrueCrew. That’s a hell of a diatribe for setting a fact straight….that had already been set straight a few hours before.
Well, yeah, but it was a pretty awful mistake, and I hadn’t acknowledged it yet when he wrote it. I pretty much had it coming. Again, I’m sorry. -D.
“Again, I hate to dismiss people’s worries, but complaining now is like telling me Klinsmann is a worse coach, and his control of the team is more tenuous, than Steve Sampson. I can’t get there.”
Which would be a useful analogy if the rest of CONCACAF had stayed where they were 15 years ago. But they haven’t. Plus, the locker room wasn’t this screwed up (come on, unless Straus is straight-up fabricating quotes, this is a locker room that doesn’t believe in its coach) until our striker got that “Dear Eric” letter. And since in the 23 years I’ve been following the USA Men, we’ve always been a team that has become more than the sum of its parts, a screwed-up locker room is a scary thing.
So, yeah. I’ll freak out a bit on the twitters and the message boards. And if our boys come home from Azteca with 1 or 0 points over the first three games, I’ll call for heads to roll from the comfort of my keyboard. That’s my job; I’m a fan. And I certainly hope that cooler heads will prevail among those in a decision-making position. Because that’s their job.
Seems a bit odd (or….immature?) for players to be whining to the press about an issue like this. Certainly there is a some process, however informal that may be, for locker room or coaching issues to be brought to the attention of those that can have a hand in alleviating them. I can’t help but ponder the likely fact that “leaking” grievances to the press is in itself an undermining of team morale and locker room attitude. Granted, as stated in another forum, these “leaks” are more likely a compilation of opinions from players dispersed over time (say over the last year or so) and not some mildly coordinated and recent mutiny of Klinsman’s coaching of the USMNT.
@respite_cdd – Perhaps all the information isn’t out yet, but short of a series of torrid trysts with woodland creatures, there is NO WAY this locker room is as bonesawed as 1998. Even Ruud Gullit was looking at us and going, “Damn, where’s the respect for authority?”
I’m not gonna freak out about anything. I’m just going to point out that this guy has Vasquez as his right hand man. If tactics are his weak point, and we have plenty to support that notion, then is MV really, really, really, double-for-realsies the guy you want in the Jogi Lowe seat?
JK might yet be a decent coach for us, but I have my doubts until he finds a suitable Robin to his Batman. Many a coach that has been given “full control” has been fired over asst loyalty.
“a series of torrid trysts with woodland creatures”
The USMNT fanfiction just writes itself sometimes, doesn’t it?
I think JK is better suited for Sunil’s job to be honest…
The two camps seem to be “we’re in trouble” and “no worries.” I’m still on the fence. But what we don’t need is Bruce Arena backseat driving with xenophobia. See paragraph 5 here: http://www.mlssoccer.com/news/article/2013/03/21/kick-usmnt-still-spin-ahead-wcqs-players-have-their-say
Shut up, Bruce.
I don’t get why some see Bocanegra’s exclusion as controversial. He can’t get on the field for a team at the bottom of the Spanish Second Division. Surely Onyewu has a better case.
And I do question the assumption that just because he talked to 11 guys we know that 11 guys are disgruntled. We don’t know how many of those 11 said things that made it into the article. And we don’t know what possible positive comments were not included. I guess I’m not familiar enough with the author to really make any assumptions about that.
And yes, Bruce needs to keep his idiotic moith shut.
I am not one of those reactionary Klinnsman is the worst coach ever because one crap game and an article with a lot of anonymous sources. But it’s not just one game, this team has been incredibly inconsistent since Jurgen took over and most worrisome there really doesn’t appear to be any coherent style of play. Yes the team was not playing champange football under Bradley but their was a coherent style based on ball winning midfielders and attacking down the wing (yes where a certain Mr. Donovan was). Also the accusations in the article aren’t new, these were the concerns when he was head of Germany and while at Bayern.
Finally I don’t believe the article is made up. Although we don;t know who Strauss talked to the guys who did talk know who they are. If he took one guys opinion and tied to make it seem like it was 11 guys (and 22 people total) they would know it and not trust him again. He is a professional Journalist he is not going to burn all those sources for the sake of one story especially going into a World Cup next year where he will be writing articles with a lot more eyeballs on them.
Oh yeh something I forgot on the post above.
My memory of 98 was that the locker room stuff didn’t really come out until after we bombed out of the World Cup. I mean with the exception of Harkes trying to play innocent and telling everyone he had no clue why he was kicked off the team (ummm you knew!) Now obviously there was a lot less press around the team back then but I don’t remember anything like this. (I am sure if there was someone will correct me with a link and an attack on my intelligence)
Popular Store Items
Popular Posts
Latest from the Forum
About Big Soccer
Copyright © 2011 Big Internet Group, LLC. All rights reserved. Click here for our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. Views expressed by the bloggers and users of BigSoccer do not represent the views of Big Internet Group, LLC.