It wasn’t on TV, so it didn’t happen
Posted on September 10, 2012 6:18 pm
The Jamaica-US game reminded me a lot of the season finale of “2 Broke Girls.” Maxine and Gemma are counting their coins, and they’re all like, “Crap, we’re broke,” and then out of nowhere Gemma says, “Are the Delaware quarters worth anything by now?” and Maxine is like “Duh, no…but wait, is that a solid silver Liberty dime from the Hoover Administration?” and Gemma is all “By Jove, you’re right!” and they run to the Internet and look up how much a 1927 Liberty dime is worth and it turns out it’s south of ten bucks, so they’re still broke.
I haven’t ever actually watched an episode of “2 Broke Girls.” But that’s all right, because I didn’t watch the Jamaica-US game, either.
What can I say? There was a “Doc McStuffins” marathon on Disney Junior, so, priorities. Seriously, don’t give me this “Why didn’t I get an illegal stream or drive two thousand miles to a soccer bar” crap, either. I’m not Morpheus, I don’t know how to DVR pirate streams. (And I don’t want to know, thanks. As a pillar of the community, I must set a good example for others.)
Anyway, because both US Soccer and bEiNspORTS (ask me how much I love to hit the shift key at random times to please some cockamamie marketing remora – go ahead, ask, I’m dying to tell you) knew well in advance that wide swathes of the country wouldn’t be able to see the game live, and had both taken non-trivial amounts of crap for it equally well in advance. One obvious solution was to do what MLS does – they still want you to buy MLS Live, to see games, y’know, live. But after 48 hours, they do put games up at Major League Soccer Soccer, just so they don’t shut out potential customers entirely, while also showcasing the product.
So it stood to reason that either BeinspORtS or the Fed would make sure that the entire game would be hosted on one or both websites, to mitigate the negative publicity of the live broadcast being available to so few. And sure enough, if you go to either site right this second, you can see – well, the USSF has some highlights, at least.
I wasn’t mad that I couldn’t see the whole game even well after the fact – I mean, we did lose – but just now, typing that out, I got annoyed again. Listen, BeinsporTS, it’s 2012. Knowing the features provided by your direct competitors is as easy as bookmarking a page in a browser. And you’re not skating on this either, Mr. Flynn – not if you’re going to sell broadcast rights to glorified GeoCities sites. (EDIT – Chapka corrected me in the comments. Road game broadcast rights aren’t Mr. Flynn’s call, so, in conclusion, I suck.)
There, I’m sure that rant was useful and productive. And now, back to the game I didn’t see.
The only surprise, really, is that anyone is surprised. Is there a team on the planet that in one calendar year can win in Italy, win in Mexico, and lose in Jamaica? I can only think of one. You can’t spell “Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle” without USNT.
The more level-headed of you in the US fanbase have already run the numbers, and correctly concluded that while not super-helpful, the Jamaica loss was not a World Cup deal-breaker. Fortunately, the collected membership of the National Association of Level-Headed US Fans wouldn’t even be able to use the carpool lane in a lot of cities.
So, it should be cake to pump out a blog entry along the lines of “What if we don’t qualify?!” and watch the panicky hits come pouring in like sweet nectar.
Except…someone already out-trolled me. Not merely saying that failing to qualify is a realistic possibility, but actively promoting it. Yes, I know Mr. Source is simply trying to get cheap hits, which I am cheerfully providing. Because I feel somewhat responsible – this is the end result of trolls trying to top trolls, and I’ve certainly eaten my share of billy goats in the past. The only place to go from here is to advocate banning the sport entirely, so it will seem that much more hip and cool. Like crystal meth.
It is worth pointing out that the central premise of such a philosophy comes from our old pal Fred Nietzsche, who, whatever his good qualities, badly bungled his most popular contribution: “That which does not kill me makes me stronger.” That’s the theory behind failing to qualify for the World Cup would be a good thing.
The problem is, there’s no guarantee that failing to be killed will make you any stronger. Graham Chapman did not kill the Black Knight in “Holy Grail;” yet the Black Knight did not become stronger.
More to the point – that which kills you, kills you. Do not confuse lingering death with survival, either. Any theoretical, philosophical benefits of failing to qualify can’t compare with going to the World Cup and beating people.
So thank you, Mr. Source – I am chastened and wiser. I won’t needlessly tease our fellow fans about the wisdom of likelihood of setting our hair on fire and shampooing with gasoline.
Unless we lose tomorrow, of course.
As a philosophy major, I have to say that’s the best philosophical argument I’ve ever seen.
“ask me how much I love to hit the shift key at random times to please some cockamamie marketing remora – go ahead, ask, I’m dying to tell you” would be one of my favorite lines you’ve ever written.
Just saying.
I think people underestimate how many new USMNT and soccer fans have emerged since the Confederations Cup and 2010. Anyone who has been around through at least a few cycles knows that this crap happens.
Unless we lose in Columbus. Then all hell breaks loose.
Worth remembering that Dan Flynn didn’t sell these rights to anyone. All the games the USSF had the rights to–their home games–will be on ESPN or ESPN2. Since we know Al Jazeera is willing to outbid Disney, the USSF is probably leaving money on the table to make sure these games get out to as many fans as possible.
Because of CONCACAF policy, the USSF has zero say in how away qualifiers get televised. That’s up to the host confed, all of whom (except Mexico) sold their rights to Traffic Sports, who turned around and sold them to PPV providers and BeIn.
Ugh – I’ve been told this many times, too. Thank you for the correction. I apologize to the whole world. – D.
Well I wished I had missed the high lights on Youtube as well.
I wish I missed Beckermen jumping early in the wall, and the ball going under him for a Jamaica goal.
I wished I had missed a players comment that Jurgen just works on fitness and not much else.
I wish I had missed someones comment of what if we don’t make it into the WC tournament. We are back to the player deveopment days of the 1990s.
I didn’t watch it either. There aren’t enough 1927 Liberty dimes on the planet to make me watch a yawntastic USNT game with Marcelo Balboa doing color.
Actually wish I hadn’t clicked on that link you provided. Wow. What awesome delusion.
@Q Watch a stream. Practice your Arabic.
The plan is always to win all the games at home and pick up SOME points from SOME games on on the road.
WRT the 23 million d-mids, why is that a position we have in such abundance, when CAM, slasher-strikers and even the wings are perennially open questions?
We know the USMNT will be in Columbus tonight. But how can we tell if they will regain their momentum?
DoctorD, you make me wish I could rep comments on blog posts.
Soccer columnist who couldn’t figure out a way to watch the game. How about just giving up the soccer part, and just moving full time to amateur comedy?
I should point out that I couldn’t figure out a way to watch the game, either (though in my defense, I had a conflict). That’s bad news for me — I’m not as funny as Dan.
Yeah, Dan, it’s almost like you were writing about the REACTION to the game and the ridiculousness of worrying about not qualifying and not THE GAME ITSELF.
You’re SUPPOSED to write about the intricacies of this formation versus that formation and give player ratings (that must be in line with mine! Because I saw the game and I know soccer!) and, in the end, tell us again how far backward we’ve gone as a soccer nation and how the next step is a rebirth of the mulleted team that went to Italia ’90.
God forbid you should just write about what YOU want to write about. You’ve GOT to do everything in your life to satisfy anonymous people on the internet.
Get with it, Dan.
He can write whatever he likes…it just that it is hard to ignore the fact that it frequently has next to nothing to do with soccer.
Was a time – and this was pre-recession, back when media had more money to spend on things like covering the news – when simply watching the game on television and trying to report on it would have been seen as horrible, inexcusable laziness. Sorry, officer, but Western civilization was dead when I got here.
So, yeah, I should have watched the game, but c’mon, CC…you seriously came here for news?
It could have been on ESPN – ESPN chose not to buy the road qualifiers. Their choice.
Maybe some day they won’t have the home qualifiers either.
Don’t mean to attack you personally, Dan. I am sure you are a swell guy. It’s just that when I read something opinion based, I like to feel that the author is at least as knowledgeable as myself on the topic. I will give you credit for at least being honest enough to admit that this was not the case.
ESPN did ‘choose not to buy them’, but then again beinsport decided to pay far more than they’re worth, so any other decision on their part would have been dumb.
@CC Link to your press clippings? I’d like to read your work.
Where did I say I have press clippings? I know, it is HIGHLY controversial of me to suggest that I am more knowledgeable than Dan about the last game…having watched it.
Dan is far more knowledgeable than CC about the subject matter. You just have to consider what the subject matter actually is.
“But after 48 hours, they do put games up at Major League Soccer Soccer, just so they don’t shut out potential customers entirely, while also showcasing the product.”
Can anyone explain this new and quite possibly mythical feature to me? I wasn’t aware that major league soccers soccer aired replays for free. Anyone got a link or that sort of thing?
MLSLive airs the games that were on national tv (and thus blacked out) after 48 hours, but it ain’t free.
@CC You were vague about what “the topic” was, but per your posts supra I interpreted it as far more general than the match in Jamaica. And you did not “suggest” you were more knowledgeable about Dan about… whatever it was; you flat out claimed to be.
I, too, was disappointed not to get post match analysis from Dan. Maybe he saw the Columbus game?
You guys seem to think you’re at Zonal Marking. You’re not.
At BigSoccer, Bill and Dan cover a lot of off-field soccer issues. If Dan writes about Chivas USA, it’s not going to be a dissection of Robin Fraser’s tactics. (These days, though, I think Dan has plenty of company in writing about C-USA in terms that don’t include the team’s actual on-field performance.) If Bill writes about CONCACAF, it’s likely to be about Jack Warner’s latest misdeeds, not whether Clint Dempsey was receiving the ball too deep in his own half.
When (if) you read Grantland, are you expecting stats?
So after yesterday can we put to rest the dumb “it will be better if we don’t qualify” articles?
I also like the “fire Klinsmann now and implement my quick fix solution” type of people. Those geniuses would have tossed Arena aside back in 2000.
Saying beIN sport paid more than they are worth is subjective. Just because ESPN is spoon fed (US Soccer sells the rights discounted to them). Doesn’t mean the rest of the world has to.
Soon ESPN won’t have to worry. beIN Sports will have all the games – they won’t have to worry about broadcasting any games.
So do we know how much ESPN offered for the away qualifiers and how much beIN paid? This is beginning to sound similar to the question of how much the Red Bulls offered for the Cosmos name and how much Paul Kemsley paid. It seems unfair to declare that ESPN and the Red Bulls were cheap without knowing what the asking price was.
“Saying beIN sport paid more than they are worth is subjective.”
Not in this case. It’s patently clear that the winner of the bid won’t be making any money on what they’ve won in any straightforward way. NBC had a chunk of content, and then they formed a new sports channel. AJ wanted to get a sports channel and then go out and acquire content, and you’re bound to overpay for it that way, unless/until you gain some market traction.
And a glib shot at ESPN misses the point–Fox could have bid on these rights to put the games on FSC, NBC could have bid on them to put them on NBC Sports Net. But they didn’t.
Popular Store Items
Popular Posts
Latest from the Forum
About Big Soccer
Copyright © 2011 Big Internet Group, LLC. All rights reserved. Click here for our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. Views expressed by the bloggers and users of BigSoccer do not represent the views of Big Internet Group, LLC.