That’s a brown question, bro
Posted on June 20, 2012 9:30 am
Ask not what brown can do for you. Ask what you can do for brown.
Lodge brothers, Loyal Order of Water Buffalo
Uni Watch asked a couple of weeks ago why there were so few teams that wear brown, and Vancouver has come through for them.
“When you look outside, you can see firsthand why the name Whitecaps FC is synonymous with our city,” said Whitecaps FC president Bob Lenarduzzi. “There are the white caps on the mountains, the white caps on the water and the forest industry that’s prominent in British Columbia and along the northwest. The kit has captured a different aspect of the northwest, but it’s still an aspect that is prominent in British Columbia and throughout the region.”
What a seamless segue from the ocean to the forests. Fine, so in Canada seeing snow on top of trees makes the Whitecaps angle not so far of a reach. I was curious as to why Vancouver didn’t choose forest green, and was informed that green has pretty much been appropriated by their two rivals, and the Whitecaps wanted something different.
Well, it makes sense that they didn’t want to dress up like the Timbers, although I tend to think of Seattle’s colors as less “green” and more “ow.” That didn’t leave too many tree color choices.
But I’m not sure Vancouver realizes how adventurous their choice actually was. It’s not simply that brown is a rarity in our neck of the, forgive the expression, woods. (The best known examples are the Caribous of Colorado and that football team in Ohio whose name escapes me.) Brown is downright beloved in American sports compared to its place in international soccer. Teams with “forest” right in the name tend to avoid actual tree colors. The Whitecaps, by showing up in a brown shirt ever, join a list of clubs you could fit on the hands of a clumsy lumberjack. St. Pauli is the only one, maybe in the world, who browns it up on a regular basis. They make brown, red and white look good, but for some reason the world will steal their chants but not their fashions. Coventry City wore an extremely poorly-received brown away set, Spurs wore a chocolatey third kit for a few minutes, Italy wore brown shorts for their 2009 Confederations Cup triumph, and I think that’s about everyone.
Will Browncouver prove just as fleeting?
That’s one of the major selling points of the new kit — the fact that it can also serve as street wear and be “dressed up or dressed down,” Lenarduzzi said.
I assume “dress up” in connection with soccer jerseys from the post-sponsorship, post-polyester era means dressing up for the game. Which I totally get. Many is the morning I have pondered which shirt, which jersey, which scarf or scarves and which cap will make up my game-day ensemble. So I can see future Whitey fans saying, “I feel earthy today.”
Would you buy/wear a jersey if they came in chocolate? I think most other MLS teams would look pretty awful…but if Canada doesn’t want to sport the St. Pauli look for their alternate, then we could do worse.
In fact, we are doing worse. On the surface, there shouldn’t be anything wrong with the United States jerseys this qualifying cycle – they are simply Celtic and Arsenal with different colors. So why do they look awful? It’s a mystery.
A Bryce Harper reference? He’s such a douchebag.
Nicely done, bro.
Yes, the USMNT’s “Red Celtic” waldos are hideous.
There’s a handshake everybody gotta know.
You know who else wore brown shirts, don’t ya?
How many words have you written in your life on the topic of soccer kits and logos?
I love the kits, though I would have loved a bit more sky on the shorts or socks.
Honestly though, I’d think that some neutrals would like the brown look if only because it’s so underused. Not being an American, I can’t pretend to understand the perpetual appeal of an endless parade of red, white, and blue permutations, but I think the Whitecaps did a reasonably good job with the kit. MLS had a poll that put the Caps brown kit at the top of the “Best 3rd jersey” poll, and – love them or hate them – you won’t confuse them for anyone else.
In my opinion, nearly any (notice the qualifying phrase there) attempt to create a classic and MLS-unique color combination is to be applauded.
I for one love the USMNT teams new home kits.
+1 @Sebsasour
Dan, no QT in RD riff? For shame!
Columbus yellow, SKC blue, Seattle eye-rape are the colors you wouldn’t “dress up” in, no? Too not-white to play with the guys in the white shirts, too light to play with the guys in the dark shirts.
Nicely done, BRO.
kenntomasch,
Little midget name of Barney Rubble?
I remember Spurs’ chocolate uni. I remember all the wisecracks about “UPS men” and “they looked like crap”. Now it’s Portland’s turn.
They should go all sky blues socks in memorial. Why are they all doing the loser sign to each other? Seems kinda mean.
I can understand that being a devoted fan requires a certain sense of conveniently placed blindness, but I have my limits. I mean c’mon, it’s bad enough that my beloved NFL Eagles haven’t won the championship since I was 3 months old, but you wouldn’t catch me dead in them yellow and blue Power Ranger-esque abominations they wore a few seasons ago. Come to think of it, I’ve yet to see one worn by ANYONE around Philly.
Anyway, the Caps could have done a lot worse I suppose. The brown is a subdued shade that isn’t too “browny” if you will. There are some good things that could come of this recent change.
1) If they have a bad match, a fan could make the remark that they looked like crap and he wouldn’t be exaggerating.
2) If a player should happen to have a uh, digestive malfunction, it be best to have it occur whilst in the new kit.
3) They could snack on Klondike bars and hide the evidence.
4) They could be construed as being (way) ahead of their time. The worldwide “go green” movement places 2nd to a possible “going brown” movement (sorry ’bout that word) that suggest that one day, our descendants would only know of snow-capped mountains from history books.
Alright, the last one was too wordy. Just having fun. Seriously though, the kits aren’t terrible.
Did I say ancestors? I meant descendants.
Fixed. Leaving this message up to show my ongoing shame at being the only person with an edit button. Which, of course, I abuse hideously – D.
The Providence Clamdiggers of the old ASL also wore brown.
What’s more, I can’t find where the local newspaper ever actually referred to them as “the Clamdiggers,” but I’m still looking.
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