Preston fights for the rights of every man
Posted on January 4, 2012 11:59 am
Everyone’s talking about what Zimmerman in Germany has to say – and no wonder!
We intend to begin on the first of February unrestricted submarine warfare. We shall endeavor in spite of this to keep the United States of America neutral. In the event of this not succeeding, we make Mexico a proposal of alliance on the following basis: make war together, make peace together, generous financial support and an understanding on our part that Mexico is to reconquer the lost territory in Texas, New Mexico, and Arizona. The settlement in detail is left to you. You will inform the President of the above most secretly as soon as the outbreak of war with the United States of America is certain and add the suggestion that he should, on his own initiative, invite Japan to immediate adherence and at the same time mediate between Japan and ourselves. Please call the President’s attention to the fact that the ruthless employment of our submarines now offers the prospect of compelling England in a few months to make peace.
Why, the dastardly, dashed cheek of the Hun! This Zimmerman fellow should know that while we Americans are a peace-loving people, we will brook no aggression against our flag! And we shall answer this or any other outrages from the German so-called Empire in the strongest possible oh, this was riffed on already?
Fine, I’ll do the big finish joke and call it a day.
Did somebody say REAL AMERICAN?
And thank you, whoever you are, for the easy comedy. I suppose later we’ll talk about the January callups, the MLS schedule, what club will end up with David….
…huh? I…gotta care about this? I…what? I…no. Really? I’ve never heard of his club before, let alone the player! You’re telling me that people were saying to themselves ”I wonder what Preston Zimmerman thinks of the national team” all this time?
It’s an interesting argument, sure. So was the Trojan War, and that’s been settled for a while, too. Preston didn’t name names, irritatingly, so let’s see if we can fill in the blanks. When you think “fake American,” who comes to mind?
1. Jermaine Jones
2. David Regis
3. Roy Wegerle
4. Joe Gaetjens
5. George Moorhouse
6. Someone Roger Allaway knows off the top of his head from before there even was a freaking USSF to sponsor a national team
If Preston was a fan of the German national team, he’d have a point – it’s their player pool we’re raiding, after all. Although Zimmerman himself is taking a job away from a hard-working German player…which brings us to another well-worn lesson that has been insufficiently taken to heart.
Zimmerman has his spot, such as it is, because he’s so much better than the typical German soccer player that he can make a living at it in Germany. There are dozens of Germans (and Americans) who are better at it, but he’s good enough. From the German point of view, he’s better at his chosen field than Budweiser or General Motors are at theirs.
“But that’s club soccer. All that’s at stake there is a livelihood and a career and in a lot of cases supporting a family. And you play for your club every week and practice for them every day, as opposed to the tiny handful of games a national team has in comparison. Whether you’re able to continue to play soccer at all depends on club form, not country. So, logically, your national team requires that much more motivation than your club.”
I’ve written before about the dangers of misunderstanding your country’s soccer federation for your country. Derek settled this argument in one direction:
That’s funny, Brett, because all of the kids that we’ve been talking about, or most of them that we’re going to be talking about tonight, all had American fathers who served in the United States freaking military. If that’s not representing your country, and living and dying for your country, I don’t know what is.
This was an excellent quote, but the whole premise is off. We’re not looking for people to die for their country. We’re looking for people who will play soccer for a non-profit organization with a monopoly on American association football as well as or better than players representing similar but foreign-based monopolies. Spain may indeed be a finer, better country than the Netherlands, but twenty-two men kicking a ball (well, twenty-one men kicking a ball and one man kicking Xabi Alonso) doesn’t add or subtract to that assertion.
Besides, it’s simply not possible for any player, for any country, to half-ass it in today’s international game. It’s possible for a player to be so good or famous that he could get away with not performing to the peak of his ability every game – although as a Galaxy fan, I’m certainly at a loss to think of an example. That’s not an option for a national team. Even if a player is ridiculously better than his incompetent teammates (e.g., Best, Weah, Giggs, Donovan), the opposition will be of much higher quality. And there’s always someone trying to take your spot.
This is what Shankly (and, for that matter, Patton) was talking about. Great, you’ll die for your side. What we need you to do, though, is beat the other guy. People are willing to die for lots of things. How’s the Greater East Asia Co-Prosperity Sphere doing these days?
And that’s even including the assumption that Zimmerman was talking about actual players, as opposed to people in his head. As we’ve seen, he couldn’t have been talking about Danny Williams. If he is talking about Jermaine Jones, well, national loyalty is the least of his issues.
Defensive midfielder is not a more important job for the country than National Security Advisor. It’s just more difficult. After all, the last American team to win in Mexico City was led by Winfield Scott. And if Michael Bradley had been given the nuclear codes, well, the last Gold Cup would have turned out rather differently, wouldn’t it?
Twitter is not the ideal medium for communicating subtle complexities, and Zimmerman rather drastically failed in clarifying his thoughts. If he had said “Klinsmann gives players in the Bundesliga unreasonable preference to those who play elsewhere,” that would be an entirely different conversation. And I’d have had fewer easy jokes.
Fortunately, he seemed to realize this, and has shown he is sincerely trying to start a dialogue on what the purpose of national team player, and fan, is all about – no, just kidding:
No need to elaborate on comments or anything, people who understand me do already, the others will never want to even try to understand
Okay, so he imagines himself as one of the guys in the Iwo Jima statue. But a high percentage of the controversy about this is because the nature of international soccer is to confuse flag with jersey. It’s interesting that a professional player is roped into this as much as a typical irrational fan.
But maybe the real issue here is Preston Zimmerman’s opinion. Let’s all follow his Twitter every day for more insights and life lessons.
Oh, we also get to update this joke from early 90′s Ireland, although it’s probably older: the new callup, standing with his team during the anthems, nudges the player next to him and says “Wow, where’d they get this song? It’s terrible.”
And the other player says, “Shut up, it’s ours.”
(Made some ticky-tack edits. Because I can.)
“No need to elaborate on comments or anything, people who understand me do already, the others will never want to even try to understand”
So there are only two possible reactions to Zimmerman’s comments:
1) Gosh, what a brilliant guy, or
2) Duh, I hate you.
Nothing at all arrogant about that.
Staying out of this one?
Staying out of this one.
P. Zimmerman thinks so highly of America, the American college route and the American soccer league MLS that he left it all at 18 to play for a 3rd division team in….wait for it….Germany (yes, THAT Germany.) That’s all I need to know.
I think Preston is just pissed because, despite having dual citizenship, neither of *his* countries want him.
http://www.transfermarkt.de/de/preston-zimmerman/profil/spieler_45502.html
If Zimmerman (Preston, not Arthur) or someone else were to suggest that the federal laws governing American citizenship be changed, perhaps so that a child born with one American parent and one foreign parent were not an American citizen, I would consider that a reasonable subject for debate. Laws are changed all the time. However, as long as the law says that Chandler, Jones, Williams and Johnson are American citizens, then I can’t see denying them the right to play for the United States (provided that they aren’t cap-tied elsewhere).
As for those pre-USSF people that Dan says I know off the top of my head, sorry. There were only two “internationals” played by the United States pre-USSF, against Canada in 1885 and 1886. I know nothing about the citizenship status of any of the U.S. players in those two games. However, all of them were from New Jersey or New York, and some Americans do consider those to be foreign countries, so who knows?
Preston Zimmerman Tweet: “I want players who will live and die for this country.”
Dan, you’re spot on here. I think Derek’s comments were more geared to show how ridiculous the above comment was.
Good stuff. Loved the Hulk Hogan vid!
Love the Joe Gaetjens example. Often revered as one the best US players from the 1950 World Cup–went on to play for Haiti in 1953. He never even became an American citizen despite claiming his intentions to… The point is, it is certainly more difficult to play for whomever you want, whenever you want, as it was in 1950. Joe didn’t even have an American father (his father was German!). Anyhow, Mr. Allaway will know more about this than me, so I’m shutting up right about now.
The problem with this hubbub is it distracts from the more serious issue that there is, so far, no evidence that Klinsmann’s selections and tactics will work. I would be fine with his seeming “If it ain’t Deutsche, it ain’t moitsche” attitude if we weren’t sucking epicly at the moment. And that may have more to do with tactics than the quality of the Germany-based players. Like, PLAY TWO FORWARDS FOR FUXAKE!
Earnie Freaking USA Doesn’t Even Get To Freaking Korea Without Him Freaking Stewart.
Thomas Freaking USA Captain Dooley.
Zimmerman had committed to Duke before he opted for Europe, but I’m not bitter.
The Zimmerman Telegram? Seriously? Maybe I should have made the connection myself, but linking this (in)famous spy/counterspy event from World War I is a brilliant touch.
If only Duke could captie players. We would never have had to suffer through Mark Dodd or Jay Heaps.
I’ll buy that someone on our national team is a “real American” when they speak Apache.
Until then, we’re all hyphenates.
Brett Hull is a fake American. So is Paul Stastny and Adam Deadmarsh. Nevermind that they’ve won Olympic medals. They’re just fake Americans.
The question is, how did ANYONE find out what was in this guys twitter feed?
Roger, I’m EXTREMELY disappointed in you. How could you not have the 1886 rosters right in front of you? For Pete’s sake, get with the program.
One of the things that jumps out about the 1930 World Cup team is how few of them WOULD have been “fake Americans.”
You mean you’re NOT following German 3rd division soccer players on twitter?? What kind of fan are you anyway?
Waitaminute… he has DUAL CITIZENSHIP??
What a Fake American!
Evidently the one with a life . . . There are a number of college programs playing at a similar level within an easier drive – although I’ll always have a soft spot for Dynamo Dresden
I think I speak for many of us when I pose the question that is burning in my soul: “Now, who is Preston Zimmerman?”
I think all of this would be a lot more fun if it was Robert Allen Zimmerman bringing this hard rain down falling along Highway 57 or thereabouts.
And by the way, fab post Dan. The Zimmerman telegram was an inspired touch.
This was a perfect topic for Loney to satirize for my protection.
On the subject, I’m conflicted–is it possible to agree with those here who say Zimmerman is completely wrong on the players, and yet appreciate the passion that inspired the ill-informed rant?
It does seem to be that there would be a line somewhere that would mean the difference between a national team and a glorified club that just happens to be playing in the World Cup (and if I wanted to watch clubs, the Spanish NT will never play the way Barca does, if for no other reason than that they don’t play together enough, so I’ll always pick Barca).
Luckily, US immigration law is relatively tough, and we probably won’t ever have to figure out where this line is.
Only thing that makes me sad is here we have a Diego Fagundez, who has been in the US pretty much all his living memory, who can’t play for us due to that same US law.
Four streets over.
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