Will Beckham give LA the royal shaft?
Posted on February 24, 2011 2:50 am
You’re an MLS coach. There’s this player that’s been in and out of the lineup for a few years now, and he’s in the last year of your contract. Even though every rational observer has called him a big disappointment, he’s been making a lot of noise about how he’s going to go to Europe and start in the Premiership.
He got injured at the end of last year, and he’s missed a lot of training camp already. So when he finally shows up, the first thing he asks you is if he can miss some practice during the season so he can attend a wedding.
What do you say? You tell him to go meet Danny Szetela at Johnny’s Tavern? Or do you simply beat him to death with his own ball bag?
I’m afraid the answer is “neither.” You’re probably gonna fold like a deck chair:
I know what you’re thinking.
Theoretically doable.
But even if there was a direct conflict, do you think Tim Leiweke and Phil Anschutz are going to flip off the future King of England? AEG wants to continue to do business in the United Kingdom. If the world’s richest inbreds want the Beckhams to decorate their parasite parade, then the Beckhams they shall have.
But wouldn’t it have been nice if Bruce Arena was able to tell Prince William where to get off?
I mean, seriously. We’re talking about an outdated figurehead kept alive by paparazzi and tabloid noise, only existing to sell faux prestige to gullible foreigners. And so’s the monarchy.
Well? Is that going to include San Jose, Washington, Chicago, Seattle, Toronto, Philadelphia and Harrison? Emma Collins says so. You guys gonna take that?
You know what, how about this.
I can’t make it to this one – long drive, conflicts with work. David Beckham, on the other hand, has no problem with travelling, and theoretically this is his job. It would help out a little club that could use the attention (no, not the Galaxy, jokers), and it would show that Beckham’s alleged professionalism actually exists.
So tell you what – if Beckham shows up to play the Xolos, then he can go his pal’s wedding. Sound fair?
You could always try to trade him to the Swampland for a Mosgov or Golden State’s lottery-protected 1st-rounder.
I mean, yeah, Seattle invented trading DPs (snort), but the Metros area these days seems to be short of uncoachable team-destroyers that play little defense.
joke hype signing by the mls. i hope they learned from this. henry for the red bulls is a REAL signing. all that money on beckham. he should have to pay the league back. they league could have signed zidane when he was interested or even a ronaldo. millions are yr for the circus with beckham and wife and no results on the field, nothing.
“I mean, seriously. We’re talking about an outdated figurehead kept alive by paparazzi and tabloid noise, only existing to sell faux prestige to gullible foreigners. And so’s the monarchy.“
That’s good stuff, right there.
these outdated figureheads aren’t even British.
these bloody imposters are from a German line from the House of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha which originated with the House of Hanover in Deutschland. they changed their name to the “House of Windsor” in 1917 due to anti-German sentiment. the British haven’t been ruled by one of their own since 1066 when Harold II took an arrow in the eye from William of Normandy’s archers.
although, if you looked at the House of Windsor’s teeth, you’d think otherwise.
Never look a clothes horse in the mouth
I look forward to chanting this little ditty if Becks actually makes it out to DC between all his other engagements;
Brave David Beckham
Bravely ran away
When the season reared its ugly head
He bravely left his team and fled
He beat a very brave retreat
And led the Galaxy to defeat
Brave David Beckham
Bravely ran away
It’s!
Maybe it’s just me, but does anyone really think that the future King will give two s**ts if the Beckham’s don’t show up to his wedding?
Or Dan, how about this for a deal: Beckham can be free to go if he’s willing to go to Central America with the Galaxy and take the piss bag to the head later this year.
As for the Xolos being a small club, though, they already won the Apertura in Mexico’s second division, and are now only a Clausura win or a playoff away from making it to FMF.
Remember, you hold the ceremony is for the couple, but the reception is for the family and friends. They give two shits.
That, and it’s in the interest of the Royal Family to make this wedding a big media event, especially with the potential backlash over a lavish wedding in austere times. The Beckhams are still quite popular over there, even with Brits who aren’t Galaxy supporters.
I think Beckham would be surprised how little LA and MLS fans actually care whether he’ll be here…………….
Sure, but by that definition, the USA has never had an American president.
(ducks)
This … must … go … on … YouTube.
Incidentally, the link to the story is here:
http://www.hollyscoop.com/victoria-b…ing_26721.aspx
Beckham may have proven to be a joke signing from a competitive standpoint, but from an economic standpoint I’d be shocked if he hasn’t paid for himself many times over.
His contract with the Galaxy is 5 years, 32.5 million. I’d be surprised if he hadn’t paid for himself with jerseys alone. It was noted at the time that there was a significant spike in jersey sales between the announcement Beckham had signed and his formal introduction.
Also, signing Beckham drove up the value on the jersey sponsorship that Galaxy subsequently signed with Herbalife.
I’d assume they’d also been able to offload some of that salary with the loan deals from his European adventures during MLS off-season.
Then there are the offseason “tours” to Australia and other locales that received little fanfare or coverage in the States but made bank for the Galaxy.
I bet every team would love to make a joke signing like that.
Let him go only if he wears some kind of LA Galaxy themed outfit.
The obvious answer is to hold the wedding at halftime of a Galaxy game.
Why not “Brave, brave Sir David” – funnier, fits better?
In a fitting end to his MLS career, Beckham will miss the rest of the season when one of Her Majesty’s corgi’s goes crackers, and he gets injured jumping over a hedge in flight.
The article could have made the point with slagging off the British Monarchy, which you obviously know little more about than what the Paparazzi feed you.
Hey, why don’t they just move the Royal Wedding to the parking lot of the Home Depot center?
You know, Kate and Willy can suck down those awesome bacon-wrapped hot-dogs and get in on that pre-game beer bong action. I am sure all of those foreign dignitaries will enjoy that far more than nasty Beluga Caviar and stodgy hors d’oeuvres made from endangered South American conures and rancid French cheese.
Even better, the British Media can say that the Royals are truly for the common people and not an embarrassing institution of super-rich posturing while most Englishmen can’t keep their bank statements in the black.
So, Home Depot grassy slope it is, wedding at halftime.
Problem solved.
He may not be the brightest bulb in your new pack of gov’t required light-coils, and I’m sure he’s more self-absorbed than a possie of peacocks, BUT I bet Goldennuggets has some real sense as to how much the Beckham-lovefest has been dampened, quelled, dimmed, lowered–to the point of flickering desperately in the wisps of the wind. Yes, he’s quite aware the worship has turned to a rash-inhabited chafe… WHICH would explain why he’d rather be anywhere but HERE.
Over “THERE” he’s still loved; and the predominant feeling by Euros and Brits alike is that Beckballs is doing MLS a big favor by even associating with American soccer, which is (and this is no joke), still thought of by many with funny accents as a league no better than the League of Ireland or the Welsh Premier League.
PS. Oh, many of them also assume Americans are all arrogant, self-centered, ignorant, flag-obsessed scheisters, who couldn’t possibly know anything about soccer. They may be open to your individually changing that assumption (but then you become an exception to the rule, and they go on assuming the usual with others). Not saying they don’t have any evidence for that assumption.
Beckham beats out Blatter on this one:
Sepp was desperate for an invite to the wedding but William feels he was lied to and embarrassed by FIFA so Blatter will have to watch from home
http://english.ruvr.ru/2011/02/24/45993763.html
Hard cheese, old boy! Oh well, best foot forward, chins up and all that.
Not to mention the fact that a certain “REAL” signing (among others) probably wouldn’t have entertained the idea of coming to the MLS if Beckham hadn’t paved the way and raised the profile.
As a Galaxy fan, I understand the resentment, but it’s getting old. I’ve seen no evidence that he’s asked for time off or that he plans to attend.
All things considered Dan (and I usually love your work), you just posted an angry blog entry about a guy receiving a wedding invitation.
Part of his contract is that he gets his own MLS franchise. He doesn’t if he goes back to Europe. I’d be surprised if he gives that up.
First of all, I doubt anyone cares whether the Beckhams are there or not, least of all MLS fans. The league gets exactly what it deserves. It’s total lack of competitive play is only sufficient to attract a plethora of “over the hill”, or worse, “under achieving” stars from parts afar.
Beckham, Henry, Castillo, Blanco, the list goes on. I’m a Beckham fan and I know he’s done, but you guys paid him the cash and gave him the freedom, so what the hell. Go for it. I would.
The MLS can’t have it both ways. When you overpay for “old” talent, you get what you deserve. Mediocrity.
Someone send this to la Barra and SE so we can all sing this. It would be better than the song about the Cubans at the US vs Cuban WCQ in DC- Although that was the funniest football song I’ve ever heard, started by some folks in la Barra brava.
Umm…considering that this wedding gets coverage on a SOCCER WEBSITE, I think the Royals have the ‘big media event’ thing covered, with or without Becks.
Right, but the inclusion of Dumb and Thinner in the guest list brands the event as more youthful and populist. Elton John doesn’t exactly scream “Relevant!” any more. I know, it doesn’t make sense, but that’s the British for you.
I guess we’re working with non-traditional definitions of “total” and “lack”?
Actually, if you restrict the list to Designated Players who made more than $1 million a season, you can complete the list with Freddie Ljungberg and Marcelo Gallardo.
Also, Blanco was neither over the hill nor underachieving – he basically did for Chicago what he’d been doing elsewhere for the previous 10 years, and Henry was coming off singlehandedly (chortle) getting France into the World Cup when he signed, so the characterization fails for him too. Not exactly a list that stretches like Benni McCarthy’s waistline.
But that’s not really the point – so a small percentage of a league with 450 first team players is overpaid, over the hill and/or underachieving. A small percentage that doesn’t represent a league that lives within its means, whose average age is around 26, and whose players are made up mostly of affordable players from the Americas and Africa. Which is easy to miss if you don’t actually know anything about the league and just see the headlines and snicker, “Retirement league LOL”.
I see what you did there.
Why does anyone in the US care about this? Beckham was a PR signing by the Galaxy, the Brit royals are PR. Real football in USA these days has little to do with the former, nothing to do with the latter. Becks will probably be on the DL by then anyway.
Bingo.
Trade him to the Knicks.
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