Girls, Girls, Girls

Posted on July 31, 2012 12:37 pm

Congratulations to the World Champion US National Women’s Deaf Team, who stormed undefeated through the field in Ankara, Turkey, culminating in a 1-0 win over Russia in the final.

US Soccer trotted Hope Solo out for what was billed as a media conference but in the event amounted to a well-crafted statement after which only one question was allowed before they whisked the US GK back behind the iron curtain which is Olympic security.

She used her brief appearance to assure everyone that, in regard to her Tweets after the Colombia match:

“I have my beliefs that the best commentators and the best analysts should be analyzing come Olympics, come World Cups, and it’s only my opinion. You can take it or leave it, to be honest, so it’s my opinion, and I think analysts and commentators should bring energy and excitement and passion for the game, and a lot of knowledge, and I think it’s important to help build the game, and I don’t think Brandi has that.”

Ever since she aired her petulance for the benefit of her worshipful followers, she and they have labored mightily to change the subject; her original point was that Chastain doesn’t know much about the game and that she should devote herself to promoting the US Women.

But she – and they – quickly turned it into a debate over whether Chastain is a good commentator.

Cute, but not particularly honest.

And even that one she pretty much misses, saying the problem is that Brandi:

a) lacks “energy and excitement and passion for the game”, a ludicrous statement regardless of how you feel about her talents with a microphone

b) doesn’t have “a lot of knowledge”, which is an astonishingly stupid thing to say about a woman who has made 192 appearances for the US.

c) should concentrate on “building the game”, which, whatever it means, probably doesn’t appear anywhere in her NBC contract.

She then sniffed: “I don’t really care to answer any other questions about Brandi.”

Left unasked and unanswered was the question of whether Solo’s well-worn Attention Whore act was really appropriate, mature or constructive in the middle of a team competition at the Olympics.

Again, the question is not, as Solo and her Sycophants would have it, whether Chastain is a good commentator. She’s not.

For years the people who broadcast soccer on TV jammed that blithering dunderhead Marcelo Balboa down our throats, too, and he makes Chastain look like Andy Gray. Somehow I don’t recall Kasey Keller carping about how he was ignorant or should have been more of a cheerleader for the team.

It would have been wildly inappropriate, childishly petulant and entirely unprofessional.

Like, for example, Hope Solo.

Then there’s the very odd, Elizabeth Lambert-esque roundhouse right with which Colombian midfielder Lady Antebellum Andrade coldcocked Abby Wambach.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ELF3qHgywU

Here, for the comedic effect, is Andrade’s description of the above:

“Nothing happened

“It was just a normal part of the game. We were both running, she ran across me and we collided. I had my hands in the air. It was an accident.”

This stunningly ludicrous lie did not impress FIFA, who issued her a two game ban.

There was no immediate word on what if any action will be taken against Referee Helen Keller, who saw no need to blow her whistle.

For her part, Wambach, who was seen repeatedly trying to hold her badly swollen eyelid open as she continued to play, has a lovely shiner but is otherwise fine.

Meanwhile, Andrade is demanding an investigation into the thuggery of the US team.

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