“You’re Where You Should Be All The Time”
Posted on July 9, 2012 4:50 pm
It’s hard to believe, but after – what has it been, five years now? six? – a bunch of people still don’t seem to get it.
Soon after David Beckham signed with MLS (well, OK, technically he signed with The Gals in LA) and brought with him the dawn of the DP era, writers, bloggers and BigSoccer aficionados alike began asking who would be “the next Beckham”, as if that were somehow possible.
Because David Beckham is not just a star footballer, or even a superstar athlete; the world is lousy with those.
Nor is he – as some would have it – merely a “celebrity” or a “star”. Those designations apply to half the paparazzi-bait B-Listers in Hollywood.
Rather, David Beckham is that rarest of rarities: a citizen of the world.
How this happened, why it happened (and how in the name of all that’s Holy we get it to stop) are questions I will leave to others (along with the question of why, with all their money, the Beckhams can’t afford to hire a voice coach to rid him of that annoying accent which, while it’s not, say, Mancunian or even Scouse is nevertheless grating on the ears).
He’s not Kobe Bryant or Peyton Manning or even Pele, world class athletes who dominated their sport for a period of time but who can’t shut down an airport or a restaurant like the future Sir David can merely by walking in the door.
Just about his only peer in the rarefied world of fame is Mick Jagger, and he’s way WAY better looking. Possibly because Becks never had to be whisked off to Switzerland for a complete body blood transfusion to get him off of heroin long enough to go do his job.
He doesn’t move like Jagger, but he’s not wrinkled up like a Shar Pei either.
Which brings us to the, shall we say “unfortunate” incident in his team’s game against the Quakes last week when, down a goal in the 92nd minute, he deftly sent the ball 30 yards and plunked Sam Cronin, who was rolling around like he’d been shot in an attempt to kill the clock.
Beckham’s point was that Cronin was faking it, which Cronin – apparently not a high IQ guy – immediately proved by jumping to his feet and practically assaulting the ref, demanding a sendoff.
In point of fact, Cronin was demonstrating one of two things here; either
a) he was faking an injury and thereby intentionally wasting time, which is unsporting conduct, meaning that he not only proved Beckham’s point but also that he himself deserved a card, or
b) a Beckham-struck ball has miraculous healing powers and he should quit this silly football thing and set up a booth at Lourdes.
In any event, the ref showed Victoria’s hubby the yellow and subsequently the league, in their infinite wisdom, suspended him for a game, which turned out to be yesterday’s tilt vs. the Fire.
All of which explains why, if you happened to flip on the Men’s Championship match from Wimbledon yesterday, you saw David and Victoria, dressed to the nines of course, sitting amongst the swells in a super-private-exclusive-luxury-royal-if-not-Papal box watching the match while his teammates were suiting up to play a league match.
This has occasioned some complaints from around the soccersphere, with some people darkly hinting that, somehow, some way, Beckham and the league must have conspired to get him out of the lineup so that he and his lovely bride could attend the biggest sporting event in the world that day.
Others – notably Alexi Lalas, AKA The World’s Worst Soccer GM, who made one of his solemn pronouncements on the subject at halftime of that very match, illustrated with a photo from London – feel that, while they don’t see a conspiracy here they are nonetheless outraged that this suspended player did not spend the day with his team, “offering them encouragement” or “showing his loyalty” or some such rot because his absence “hurt his team”.
And even aside from the fact that “his team” handled themselves – and Chicago – rather well yesterday, all that noise just indicates a shocking level of cluelessness.
Well, of course cluelessness from Lalas doesn’t really shock anyone any more, but you get my point.
Last year, when Bill and Kate were getting hitched in London 48 hours before a Galaxy match vs. the FC’s of Dallas, the team gave him “special permission” to miss practice (cue Alan Iverson destroying his career) because a Royal Wedding was such an “amazing opportunity”.
Left unsaid was the fact that Beckham did MLS more good sitting there in morning clothes than he would have if he’d been in Frisco playing keepaway and stretching with his teammates.
Because that’s David Beckham of MLS sitting there. I didn’t see Wayne Rooney and I sure didn’t see LeBron James. Elton John and his partner, sure. Messi? Pele? Hell, not even the Obamas were invited.
Now in point of fact it’s pretty unlikely – though I admit not impossible – that the league somehow stage managed the little piece of drama which led to Beckham being available to fly to London for the match. Don’t know, don’t care.
What I do know is that, far from Wimbledon being the wrong place for him yesterday, it was absolutely the right place. MLS gets it. AEG gets it. I’ll wager a case of your favorite that his teammates get it too.
Which is partly why I also completely disagree with England Olympic manager Stuart Pearce and most if not all of the talking heads who feel that Beckham really didn’t belong on the GB Olympic football team.
As Stuart said, he selected the team not on sentiment, but effectiveness, and that Beckham simply isn’t good enough to make the cut.
Which is undoubtedly true and even if it’s not it’s still his call.
But I recall the 1992 USA Olympic dream team in Barcelona (the only real one – all the rest are pale copies) which found room for a guy who moved like he was 100 years old, was in too much pain to practice much and spent most of his time lying on the floor to try and get his back unwound enough to hit the court for five minutes here and there.
Larry Bird wasn’t on that team because he was the most effective player available. There might have been 50 or 100 guys who were more capable at that point of contributing.
He was there because he belonged there.
Does Victoria Beckham ever smile?
No – she’s a statue.
She’s more silicon than woman now, twisted and evil.
I’d rep this one if I could.
The picture looks like they’re at a funeral..!
Have to disagree somewhat with Beckham for Team GB. I can appreciate Beckham’s relevance and by all means I expect to see him at the Olympics and perhaps even have some role in the opening ceremonies. But “Great Britain” have not won a significant football title in almost 50 years and that was again at home. This is a unique opportunity for them to do just that. Granted there is some stiff competition with Brazil, Spain and Uruguay that IMO may prove to be more than a match, but it is ‘home’ for GB and Pearce will be working under an intense microscope as is. Simply put, he can’t afford to grant the space.
And besides, Beckham’s not even playing in England.
I get the point with the Dream Team but it’s a little different IMO. They had Michael Jordan, Charles Barkley, Ewing, Robinson, Stockton, Malone, Magic, etc. Some of these players were in their primes. And Bird did contribute. But the prevailing notion is that THAT USA team probably would have romped to a gold medal without Larry Bird. They were favorites, and had the overwhelming talent to prove it. Other teams wanted to take pictures with them and get autographs & it was a historical ‘first’. All due respect, I don’t think GB can boast the same. Chuck Daly wasn’t worried about his job or future before, during or after the Olympics. he knew he’d have one. Pearce is in a different situation.
…(along with the question of why, with all their money, the Beckhams can’t afford to hire a voice coach to rid him of that annoying accent which, while it’s not, say, Mancunian or even Scouse is nevertheless grating on the ears).
Because his next gig will be to save you up to 15% on your car insurance? The first time I actually heard Becks talk, I KNEW then who voiced the Geico Gecko.
David Beckham is MLS’ flashing blue light, letting folks know that something’s happening over here.
I really hope Beckham continues on with the league in some way after his playing days are over. Whether it’s as an owner or manager, or even a commentator, he’ll always draw eyes and interest.
Posh Spice has to hang on to her hubby in case a stiff breeze comes and blows her away.
We Galaxy fans are used to this kind of crap. My solution has been to close my eyes and think happy thoughts.
I too would get suspended from work to watch Roger Federer in a Wimbledon final. What a player!
Bill, you or Christian Laettner could’ve been the 12th man on that U.S. lineup and it still would’ve resulted in a gold medal, hence Bird’s selection being a non-issue. Not the case for Team Great Britain at the Olympics representing four countries that between them haven’t won anything of value in 44 years at the international level.
Yeah, but his point was that out of 23 guys, they couldn’t find one roster spot for him? Whoever made the last cut should’ve then been cut, so Beckham could’ve been added to the team. It’s not like that guy would’ve made a difference, and I highly doubt that whoever it was isn’t starving.
18 spots, 3 of which are for over age players. Essentially it came down to a choice between Ryan Giggs and Beckham, and Pearce made the choice I would have made. The GB team has little chance of winning a medal though.
Please, if we follow every football pundit in the world talking about the Olympics, NOBODY has a chance at a medal.
Spain and Brasil are the clear favourites. Just look at the talent in their 18s.
Only 18 players in an Olympic squad, making it harder to carry any passengers.
I agree completely. As much as I’ve admired Becks over the years this just isn’t his time.
…and when he’s not, he’s with some underworld spy, or the wife of a close friend.
“Beckham and the league must have conspired to get him out of the lineup so that he and his lovely bride could attend the biggest sporting event in the world that day.”
Wait, I didn’t see him at the US Women’s Open in Kohler, Wisconsin yesterday.
You know you’ve had this celebrity thing mastered for well over a decade when you can quickly spot the paparazzi in a stadium full of faces to strike a proper, possessive pose with your super-spouse.
I hate Beckham, love to hate Beckham – and love Stuart Pearce incidentally. But – great post Bill!
Yes, Galaxy fans… just close your eyes and think of England. Hah hah.
Bumping a player who merited a spot for one with a title and undeserved prominence would be perfectly representative of British culture and heritage. You’re right Bill, Beckham belongs there and he is the rightful figurehead of their Olympic team.
Well, since I now don’t need to make a blog post about this, I can now point out that just under four years ago, undeserving All-Star David Beckham skipped the chance to cheer for the Galaxy to attend and star in the closing cermeonies of the Beijing Olympics. I forget who was the Galaxy’s general manager in 2008, but I assume it was okay with him.
And yes, MLS is fine with Beckham on worldwide television, because MLS has decided what’s good for Brand Beckham is good for MLS. That may or may not be true, but these are adults who are making those decisions.
When you wrote that even his teammates get it, I guess that would include Donovan – who was a little slow on the uptake a few years back – and had to apologize for thinking Beck’s absences was a lack of commitment instead of commitment of another type.
Yeah, it was Beckham’s lack of commitment when he was actually playing for the Galaxy that actually….you know what, I’m sure you saw for yourself, being a big fan and all
Great plug with Carly Simon. Here song is perfect for Becks.
You know, that song has always troubled me. That dude. . . who’s so vain that he probably thinks the song is about him. . . yeah, that song **IS** about him.
The BBC stopped their studio coverage to show David Beckham arriving at Wimbledon.. two minutes later he was being interviewed court-side.
I you are going to make statements as fact, do the proper research
a) Cronin was not “rolling around like he had been shot”. He was winded and just partook in a physical 50-50 challenge. The amount of time wasted was miniscule in comparison to other instances of gamesmanship.
b) David Beckham was kicking the ball at Baca (who had just kicked away the second ball on the pitch). This was obvious as the 2 continued to mouth off at eachother after the incident. Beckham also finished the game crying like an angry pirate baby and proving to be a huge poor sport.
I enjoy how you and many others make this situation into an example of Beckham’s heroics when in reality he deserved a lengthier suspension.
There should be more articles about favoritism shown towards DP’s (see Marquez’s ridiculously short suspension after assaulting Shea Salinas)
“Beckham also finished the game crying like an angry pirate baby and proving to be a huge poor sport.”
This can be true as well as there being no problem with Beckham going to see AFC Wimbledon. (Huh?)
I mean, a lengthier suspension would have given him more time to putz around England, not less, so….
Look there is David Beckham who plays for that shi+ American league, THE MLS, where you don’t even have to show up.
If you’re suspended, you go on vacation, if you’re hurt, you go on vacation (Lothar Matthaus, anyone?).
Great ambassador.
I’ve kind of done a whole 360 (or 720) on The Beckham Experiment. Beckham started hard (shouldn’t have even played) when he came into the league. He eventually realized his pre Piers Morgan commented team WAS actually a pub team and eventually began to mail in in (daily). Landon called him out (Well, not to his face, but over, Dynamite hand rolls with Grant Wahl) and one text message, I believe. Then, Beckham actually started put effort into his game, when he was occasionally in town. They all won a championship and we’re back to square one: Pub Team. Morgan was right.
Why do you think Donovan wants out of the sport. He’s realizing that C— Beckham just won’t go away.
Glad to see that Pearce screwed him over by giving that model citizen Ryan Giggs the armband.
Mick Jagger never had a blood transfusion. In fact he’s probably in better sharpe than most of us here on BS. Keith Richards on the other hand is a whole other story. That dude is a freak of nature. As the old saying goes, at then end of the world there’ll cockroaches and Keith Richards.
Totally dig the Larry Bird example. Apt, but then again I am old enough to have watched that with as much interest as I will this summer’s Olympics.
Bill, once again you make too much sense.
Well done.
The best thing for MLS is is Beckham got a divorce, and got one of the fatter or younger kardashians pregnant. Sitting courtside at Wimbeldon only pisses off all the people struggling trough this economy. Maybe he should take more trips to childrens hospital on suspension days.
MLS, ever since they launched that DP initiative, really shouldn’t schedule in conflict with Wimbledon or the Summer Olympic torch ceremonies.
I’d imagine Beckham also finds a way to be in Paris in two weeks to witness Bradley Wiggins capturing Le Tour.
Another Beckham fanboy looking high and low for ways to justify one of the most unprofessional footballers in the world.
Beckham doesn’t belong in the Olympic team because the Olympics are a competition, not a reality show.
Beckham and MLS deserve each other. Not a real soccer player playing for a not real soccer league
I’ve read some stupid posts on bigsoccer but yours takes the cake. So all those MLS players training and playing hard are just fake players in a fake league?
Comparing the 92 Dream Team with Team GB is beyond idiotic. The dream team was pretty much assured a medal weather Larry Byrd was there or not. Team GB is so pathetically weak the manager cannot afford the luxury to burn one spot in in a feel good story. He is going to need all the help he can get on the field, not in the tabloids.
Not to mention, even if Larry Bird was not good enough to play for our national team he certainly was still good enough to play for any other country’s national team. We probably could have scrounged up an over-40 select team that would have beaten half the teams in the Olympics at that point.
If he was merely kicking a ball at a prone oppponent, that is bad. AS others have pointed out, he was not down for that long. Suggestions that the kick produced a “miracle recovery” is nonsense, as the opposing player was only down for seconds. Far shorter than, say, for example, your average roll about by Landon Donovan, just to pick another MLS player completely at random.
He kicked the ball exactly where an MLS referee happened to be. We could call that “collateral damage,” were we MLS brass pretending that we did not encourage every possible organ of MLS public expression to constantly hyperventilate about the incredible precision of Beckham delivery. Since MLS brass have apparently successfully encouraged every soccer announcer in the land and imported more in support to say that Beckham is God’s Very Gift to right footed delivery, it cannot be the company line other than to say that Beckham’s double hit of prone opponent and attendant referee was an intended double – the great Beckham killed two with one stone. Then his making a perfect ass of himself afterward was for Queen and Country, too.
None of it, of course, was an astonishing display of bad form from a supposed veteran leader, otherwise known as an inveterate sore loser and thug falsely marketed as “Grand Wizard of Football and Former England Captain.”
It really is pathetic that he put on this ridiculous display just before he wanted to take this jolly holiday, and MLS rewarded him with an extra week off, while Shea got a three game suspension for much less.
Non-yankee, Stay Home.
Oh haters, your impotent whining is as delightful as smurf tears.
At least a hater like Stuart Pearce, typical FA buffoon though he is, is enough of an entity to actually harm Beckham with his spite by denying him something.
Whereas you lot… your ravings merely bump the Internet stats for keyword Beckham and ensures even more things will be written about him!
Hahahahaha!
How was Beckham harmed by being left out of the squad in favor of a more deserving player? I don’t follow your logic.
I’ve never understand Beckham’s celebrity. He was a good but not a great player. He isn’t particularly intelligent or actively involved in social issues.
He looks good in underwear, which attracts the teenage girl demographic.
Yeah, but he has a cute butt.
The only reason David Beckham plays for the Galaxy is no one else wants him.
There’s a lot to what you say. One just can’t see him being worth very much to the Crew or Revolution. Now if Vegas had an MLS team that would be a different story.
I meant any other club in the world. Not just MLS.
PSG just called, they want you to read the papers.
Didn’t sign at PSG, so they didn’t really want him did they?
Err…having mental breakdown, are we? It was HIM who didn’t sign with PSG, when they had basically offerred him “the world” to play with them instead of Blackburn Rovers, Tottenham, AC Milan etc, even LA Galaxy. HE turned them down, not PSG.
As for Pearce not picking him for Team GB because he has no ability, playing in MLS, etc and not because of sentiment…I bet if Becks is playing with PSG right now, week in, week out with the same (perhaps more) hard work and brilliantness that he put in the Galaxy games this year, Pearce STILL would NOT select him “because he doesn’t play in England” and “because the two games that I watched while being in Paris, his team lost and he didn’t play at his best”. *roll eyes*
Compare him now, who is getting fitter than he was in April/May, to Craig Bellamy who is on vacation and UNFIT, not to mention playing just a handfull of games last season, Micah Richard who is on vacation and UNFIT…I would pick Becks as my back-up/18th man.
President of the David Beckham fan club are we?
PSG must not offered enough of the “World” to get him to sign. If they offered him so much, why re-sign with the Galaxy?
He has no business on Team GB – he is past his prime.
Becks is probably getting a lot of frequent flyer miles flying from LA to London to watch Wimbledon while he is suspended. Nice teammate.
Maybe PSG wouldn’t let him fly to New York to see the US Open tennis tournament in September!
You really want him to change his accent? Should Americans change their accent when playing in England to not annoy the locals there?
Just think of how much comedy would have been lost to the world if Harkes and Friedel kept the accents of their youth.
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