Senselessly Piling On
Posted on June 19, 2012 12:59 pm
Yes, it’s absolutely true that I would like nothing better than to pound out a few paras on the ugly incident in Houston in the wee hours of Monday morning.
I mean, how cheap and tawdry would it be of me to comment on the fact that three Toronto FC players – Miguel Aceval, Luis Silva and Nick Soolsma – found themselves in a 2:45 AM street fight outside the prosaically named “Club Escobar”.
(Note to Paul Mariner: many teams have been known to institute something called a “curfew”. Might need to look into that)
Or that Aceval – described by police as “highly intoxicated” and “belligerent” – was being arrested when Silva “tried to get involved”, ended up cursing at the cops and then running away when he was told he was under arrest.
Somewhat embarrassingly, he only made it about a block before the donut squad caught up with him, wrestled him to the ground and slapped on the handcuffs.
(Note to Paul Mariner: Really? Caught from behind by a redneck carrying 30 pounds of equipment? If your midfielders can’t outrun Buford T. Justice maybe you need new ones. Just a thought.)
All three were eventually arrested for public intoxication, processed, booked and slapped in a cell. Fortunately, someone was able to reach Julian de Guzman – as a DP he’s the guy most likely to have some cash around – who came down and bailed them out.
(Note to MLS: Edson Buddle got pulled over for Driving While Black one time with a couple of beers under his belt and ended up doing six months of league-mandated rehab. So what do these guys get? Five years in lockdown at Betty Ford?)
Oh sure, I could easily post the mug shots which are now up on the net but would that be fair? I mean, let’s be honest: nobody looks their best at 5 AM after a long night of drinking, chasing skanks (“That’s right, baby, I’m a professional soccer player. Wanna see my balls? HAHAHAHAHA”) and getting slapped around by the cops.
It just wouldn’t be fair, and I won’t do it.
Kicking guys – or an entire 1-10 MLS team – when they’re down just isn’t right.
For the same reason, I am not going to be writing about something I’ve noticed over the last couple of weeks which keeps reminding me of some comments I read someplace; can’t recall who it was exactly who said them but they went something like this:
“It’s fine if you’re a female and you want to be a super-fan. Clearly go for it, that’s your choice. But there is something to be said for how appealing that might be to the other sex. Having a woman that’s such a fan, like painting your face….I don’t know how many males would be into that.
“It’s great that…there are a lot of women in the stands, it’s great, but for the guy who wants maybe a serious relationship…if you’re such a die-hard, I don’t know, it comes a point that it is a bit of a turn-off…”
I see what he means.
Total turnoff.
>redneck
Bill, I see you’ve never been to Houston. Carry on.
Not sure if serious? Our population might be diverse, but HPD definitely has an abundance of good ol’ boys.
I’m not inclined to agree with Bill after the drama he fabricated with the Dynamo/Fire situation this season, but he’s spot on with this one (even if he may have stumbled back-assward into being correct).
since this is a whatever article, can I leave this here?
http://imgur.com/czUnb
BT – muchas gracias. That is hilarious.
Bill: I was going to comment on the whole TFC thing, but then I got to the second half of your article and forgot what I was going to say.
I think you found your calling as a blogger. I vote that “female superfans” be the perennial topic from now on…
The Facebook group “Girls UEFA EURO 2012″ is the best thing ever….
More pictures of cute Euro supporters please.
the swedish supporter in the hat and faux pigtails… her eyes are just the most eerie shade of blue. stunning.
Yeah, she also looks really smart, too.
BTW – best blog ever!
Actually she’s the only one I think this otherwise facetious article could actually apply to. Something about the full face paint and her eyes just doesn’t mesh… Stick with the little cheek flags.
that’s just it, though. her eyes are ethereal in that… um, maybe i should go to another website for a bit.
If a picture paints a thousand words, I’m still reading
Bill, this is a fantastic piece. I applaud you for your craftsmanship with the English prose.
/didn’t read a word of the article
//just stared at the girls
Well, look at it from the players’ perspective. What’s worse, six months of rehab or six months playing for Toronto?
Hah those Swedes are standard here.
What I took from this blog:
1) Swedes are hot by definition
2) Most cops are racist, redneck and out of shape
3) Swedes are hot, as evidenced by this pictorial display
4) TFC has yet to hit rock bottom
5) something about Swedish beauty
Not as cerebrial as your piece on Ireland last week, Bill. But then, thinking is overrated.
There were quite a few attractive women in our supporters’ section in Philadelphia this past Saturday. There appeared to be quite a few in the home Union supporters’ section too. (The Union puts away fans next to the River End so we can drown them out… Go figure)
Simon Borg, again, is an idiot who should be mocked whenever possible. Thank you for mocking him yet again, Bill.
Mocking Borg AND TFC? Like shooting two-headed fish pulled out of Springfield Creek in a barrel. Fun.
There goes Toronto’s chances of making the playoffs.
So disappointed Bill, all the pics are rehashed from prior tournaments. I come here for fresh eye candy.
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