I think the correct procedure is to cancel the game. Part of the deal is if the game isn’t officiated with licensed referees US Soccer can’t have a reasonable expectation that safety and proper laws are enforced so liability becomes an issue.
This is exactly what I've done. IF (and I stress IF) they feel comfortable to call direction, I would tell them to put the flag straight up in the hand of direction. That way, it's discreet enough that the average fan won't know while they are giving me at least a little help. However, I stress to them that the final call is mine and mine alone.
Many years ago I was doing a U14B solo. I got two club lines to hold a flag, both wearing the away jersey of the home team... at one point one signals direction on a throw for home. He was wrong. I signaled and announced for the visitors. Coach yells, "What is your AR for!?" I was way to new to say anything but I rolled my eyes, hard, in my mind.
Doesn't everybody read the bylaws when they are given a chance to? United States Soccer Federation, Inc. POLICY MANUAL Policy 531-8—Assignment of Game Officials Section 2. Unregistered Referee in Emergency If, because of unforeseen circumstances, a currently registered referee is unable to officiate or does not appear for an assigned match, a person may then be designated at match time to act as referee in the emergency for that one match. Section 3. Use of Club Linesmen When neutral assistant referees are not assigned or fail to appear for a match as assigned, the referee may seek the assistance of club linespersons whose duties shall be as delegated to them by the referee.
Many years ago when I was coaching a U16B team and could keep up with them. We showed up for a game without a referee, the home team coach knew she couldn't do it and didn't have a referee. The game is for the kids; I never considered not refereeing. I thought I did a very non-partisan job - including fouls for the other team. My players weren't always pleased, but were happy to play. I have probably refereed my own team a half a dozen times.
I have refereed my kid's games a handful of times in emergency or scrimmage situations and always find myself to be fairly partisan -- but in the other direction. I think I am so conscious of not wanting to appear biased for my team that I end up over-compensating
An assistant coach of the local high school team doesn't like to see me as the ref because he thinks I go out of my way to make calls against his team to avoid the appearance of bias. In reality he just has a few thugs on his team.
I did as few of my kids' games as possible, but I did some. Once as stand-in AR in a U13 "friendly," I flagged as good a goal my goalkeeper son bobbled just barely over the line. He still hasn't forgiven me for it (and he's 24 now).
We have a non-USSF rec league in my city. Most of the referees who start out there go on to get certified. When I first started, they were so shorthanded, I made it a point to keep my gear in the car just in case. I started doing that when I got called to work a U8 solo and didn't have time to go home. So I worked the game in my jeans and pullover shirt, using only my voice. This Fall, they have so many I was only assigned three games, all on a rare Saturday. That's a good thing. My goal, a quite lofty one, is to help recruit and entry level teach the teenagers so by the time I am too old, I am truly no longer needed because of the excess of referees. Sadly I will probably be dead before then.
Similar experience. I was drafted as AR and called another player (who didn't get near the ball) offside as my son scored one of his few goals. We never spoke of it again.
Technically, those are policies, not bylaws (ducks ...) I've all but memorized the bylaws having to do with elections. Not that they clarify everything.
The first games I ever refereed were the result of showing up to watch my older daughter's game, wearing dark pants and a black hoodie. No referee showed up and the visiting coach assumed that I was the referee. Not a bad game, as I remember it, but in the last minute of the game, a player from the visiting team hoofed the ball away, way over the berm, almost into the next county. I had a piece of yellow paper in my pocket (the line up from my son's game that I had coached earlier that day) so I used it to caution the player for what I now know to be delaying the restart. (They were ahead, 1-0) After the game, the coach protested the card, and my daughter's coach argued back. It turns out that the cautioned player just happened to be the coach's daughter. And the same no show referee had been scheduled to do a boys' game after my daughter's, so that coach asked if I had "to go someplace right away?" My wife took the kids home and I stayed to do the next game too. My wife, as recently as this week, always says that I leaned against my kids' team when I had to do their games. I just told her what a great coach she was when the younger daughter was U-8 and 9. "I didn't know anything about soccer. I just had good players." "The goal of rec soccer isn't to turn the players into professionals." The first "pass back" I ever called was on my older daughter. In fairness, she was already bent over, waiting for a slow roller to get to her. Her sweeper decided to 'help' the ball get there. She never liked playing with that sweeper after that.
I had to fill in as ref for my daughter's team sometimes when she was playing U9 and U10 rec. One time one of the players said, "Oh good, coach Gary is going to ref." I told her, "Yes, but I know how you play." So sometimes it's not that you're bending over backwards to prove you're not biased, it's just knowing what to look for. I served as club line (we didn't have AR's at U10, but did have offside) in many of her games. I remember once when I was so excited to see my daughter going in for a goal, I forgot to look that she was offside - fortunately not my call to make as a club line. I turned to see the ref with his hand up in the air and blowing his whistle. Ran the replay back in my mind and thought, oh yeah, crud.
I was working as AR for an up-and-coming 16-y.o. (now late 20-something Gr. 6). The local team was notorious for whacking opponents after the ball was played away and I wasn't going to be the wizened AR who ref'd the match from the touchline. I mentioned to the ref at half-time to keep focus on where the ball came from for a moment longer (the ball is not going to commit a foul in the air 8^} ). Needless to say, she called a few more fouls in the second half.
Stepped in to ref my son's U10 game once, before scores and standings were recorded. This was before being certified, really had not much of a clue what I was doing. I centered one of my daughter's games last spring when there was no assigned CR and neither of the young ARs felt qualified to do it (U17 match, ARs were about 14). Both my kid's teams lost the matches I had the whistle for, but not because of the referee.
That's what you say, but what do they say? I my AYSO region, the challenge of getting parents to volunteer as refs led to having 10U refs do the games for their own teams. (This is not particularly uncommon in AYSO at that level.) On one hand, it makes more people willing to volunteer to be trained, as they'll be there anyway. On the other hand, it means we have newbies reffing their own kids (and coaches) and they can be perceived as biased regardless of the facts.
When I helped start a local rec soccer club we didn't have any referees, so the few people with any soccer experience got the privilege of "refereeing". I refereed that first year with a law book in my hand (figuratively, not literally). With three of my own kids playing, I called many of their games. We hosted a grade 8 course before the second year and I learned how to be a real referee (or so I thought at the time). Over the next few years I continued to have to call my kids' games with some regularity - particularly the oldest one. I got in the habit of taking my kit to away games as well because crews were often shorthanded (or MIA). I've long lost count how many of their games I officiated. 40? 50? Most of them were in the center as well, and it never seemed like that big of a deal. Of course I'm sure I called perfect games in most of those anyway, so why would anyone complain?
Reffed my younger daughter’s match when she was 11. Fourteen years later, she still doesn’t let me forget I failed to award her a penalty when she was fouled in the area. Did I mention she broke her wrist on the play?
Ouch ... reminded me of my own then-11-year-old daughter lying in the ER bed painfully but proudly displaying the extra bend in her wrist. At least I wasn't ref'ing that one!
I was reffing one of my sister's U19 AYSO games and one of her teammates broke her collar bone. She was at full speed and lost her balance on a shoulder challenge and landed directly on the front of her shoulder.
To hijack this thread a bit. Has anyone had the luxury of seeing a dislocated knee cap? Now that is a luxury. Check that off on my box. As well as a broken tibia.
No but I had a HS senior with a dislocated ankle that had his foot pointed in entirely the wrong direction. That was a sight I had gladly put out of mind until you reminded me of it. We thought it was a really bad break at the time.
Yeah, mine. As the intern in the ER pushed it back and forth, saying, "Look at this!" Happened long before I was reffing soccer. But now I've got arthritis in that knee. And on another note, I worked with an AR in a youth game who had the unfortunate experience of having girls break their wrist in BOTH of his last 2 games. Fortunately didn't happen a third time - not that I had anything to do with that outcome.