My kid’s club is going through lots of changes. The main guy has been coaching for years has a very outgoing personality and seems well liked. I say seems because it turns out lots of kids really dislike him. My kid only knows him from skills and has no problem. I am hearing from parents that he motivates the kids by threatening them. He tells them he is going to replace the team with rec players. He also threatens kids on top teams that he will drop them down if they don’t do xyandz. This insulted the second team and created a hostile environment for the players. Moving kids to teams that are appropriate for them developmentally should be looked at as an opportunity not a punishment. This whole thing really bothers me and I’m sort of taken aback by what I am hearing. The kids also make comments like “he is really nice around parents but you should see him when the parents are not around.” Am I over reacting? Even if this is only partially true? Is this sort of normal? What are your thoughts on Hawthorn Woods program?
How old are these players? While I’d never suggest this type of motivational method, it is far worse for 8 year olds than 16 year olds. For 8 year olds, he should be replaced immediately. The older players can address it with the coach 1:1. That isn’t to say all yelling or challenging is bad once the players are old enough to know better and speak up for themselves. Depending on the level of play, the maturity of players and the relationship with the coach there could be a few times a year when a few extra decibels can be ok. Too often and it has zero impact other than to fray nerves and relationships.
Yes! It motivated the bulk of both the first and second team to try out at different clubs and they don’t plan on coming back. The club many of them are going to is at a more convenient location for some of the players, so that helped. I guess he is really negative but does not offer any solutions on how to fix it. They had a coach that was hard on them but gave them direction on what to do differently.
I agree it depends on the age of the kids. IMO, if the kids are 11 and younger, he should be let go. 12 - 14, he should get talked to at least, 15+, let the kids decide if they want to keep playing for him.
Seems like a pretty strong message, but does he know what the problem is? Some people are pretty dense. I heard from a player about a collegiate coach who crossed the line with insults to the point where it affected the team as a whole. Year end review, and the players slammed him and he shed some tears because he had no idea feelings were hurt. He apologized, changed his behaviour and much better off for it.