The 2017 Table :: Magic Numbers, Tragic Numbers & Other Farcical Figures

Discussion in 'MLS: News & Analysis' started by Knave, Aug 5, 2017.

  1. Kejsare

    Kejsare Member+

    Portland Timbers
    Mar 10, 2010
    Virginia
    Club:
    Portland Timbers
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Is it something I can chew on?
     
  2. SierraSpartan

    SierraSpartan Member+

    Jan 25, 2007
    Placer County, CA
    Club:
    Sacramento Republic FC
    [​IMG]
     
    Kejsare and Namrog The Just repped this.
  3. Knave

    Knave Member+

    May 25, 1999
    If a team became toast, and then became Lazarakia, only to be toasted again, then they'd be Zwieback.
     
    SccrDon, nlsanand, BalanceUT and 4 others repped this.
  4. The Franchise

    The Franchise Member+

    Nov 13, 2014
    Bakersfield, CA
    Club:
    Real Salt Lake
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    2016 Revolution.
     
    TOAzer repped this.
  5. BalanceUT

    BalanceUT RSL and THFC!

    Oct 8, 2006
    Appalachia
    Club:
    Real Salt Lake
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Or maybe melba toast.
     
  6. soundermiki

    soundermiki Member+

    May 24, 2009
    Seattle
    Club:
    Seattle Sounders
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    I think #16 and #18 are the same. It's the biggest secret word. The best. Believe me.
     
    jeffreyc64 repped this.
  7. Knave

    Knave Member+

    May 25, 1999
    Incorrect
     
  8. ManiacalClown

    ManiacalClown Member+

    Jun 27, 2003
    South Jersey
    Club:
    Chicago Fire
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    I'm ready for the week 29 thread, and I'm going to whine about it in the Toast thread.
     
  9. Sachsen

    Sachsen Member+

    Aug 8, 2003
    Broken Arrow, Okla.
    Club:
    Sporting Kansas City
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
  10. ManiacalClown

    ManiacalClown Member+

    Jun 27, 2003
    South Jersey
    Club:
    Chicago Fire
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    BalanceUT, Sounders78 and Sachsen repped this.
  11. The Franchise

    The Franchise Member+

    Nov 13, 2014
    Bakersfield, CA
    Club:
    Real Salt Lake
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    henryo repped this.
  12. henryo

    henryo Member+

    Jun 26, 2007
    Ops, TFC hitting a bumper at home with Montreal now. ;)
     
  13. Knave

    Knave Member+

    May 25, 1999
    1Conferences.png
    Notes

    Remember when I said this?

    Oops. :unsure:

    MTL beat TOR 5 to 3.

    But don't worry, MTL plays away to ATL this weekend, and they'll certainly lose down there.

    Toast is doubtless on the way.

    Right? :whistling:
     
    ElNaranja, Sachsen and henryo repped this.
  14. SierraSpartan

    SierraSpartan Member+

    Jan 25, 2007
    Placer County, CA
    Club:
    Sacramento Republic FC
    Just want to be sure on the rules of Lazarakia - both CD and AD have to be sub-2, and the team has to be in at least sixth position by PPG, correct?

    Because I see some potential Lazarakia lurking behind the Zion Curtain.
     
  15. The Franchise

    The Franchise Member+

    Nov 13, 2014
    Bakersfield, CA
    Club:
    Real Salt Lake
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    It's just being in playoff position. By necessity, AD will be under 2.0, and CD probably will be, too.

    But despite RSL being my club, I can't call making the playoffs likely. They have a better chance than any other toasted team, and better than almost any in the about ten years of toast tracking, but it's still something like a one in four chance. (Which is fantastic at this point for a team toasted in July.) By contrast, toasted teams are generally under 5%, and 10% is quite rare.
     
    BalanceUT repped this.
  16. Knave

    Knave Member+

    May 25, 1999
    To become toast, both despair numbers must be above 2.00 PPG.

    To become Lazarakia, a toasted team must attain playoff position by PPG.

    To become Zwieback, a Lazarakia team's despair numbers must both rise back above 2.00 PPG.
     
    Sachsen, henryo, BalanceUT and 4 others repped this.
  17. EvilTree

    EvilTree Member+

    Canadian S.C
    Canada
    Nov 20, 2007
    Frozen Swampland, Soviet Canuckistan
    Club:
    Toronto FC
    Nat'l Team:
    Canada
    Book of Toast, Chapter 12, Version 1 to 3

    So say we all
     
  18. Kappa74

    Kappa74 Member+

    Feb 2, 2010
    Seattle
    Club:
    Seattle Sounders
    Something's afoot in Salt Lake

    [​IMG]
     
    Kev_K, TOAzer, RoyalNonesuch and 4 others repped this.
  19. Todorojo

    Todorojo Member

    Oct 27, 2008
    South Weber, UT
    Club:
    Real Salt Lake
    2 of the last 3 against Colorado and LAG doesn't hurt either. I'm in shock.
     
  20. Golazo

    Golazo Member+

    Apr 15, 1999
    Decatur, GA USA
    /Resolves to read up on Mormon theology regarding resurrection./
     
  21. morrissey

    morrissey Moderator
    Staff Member

    Feb 18, 2000
    West Los Angeles, Calif
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Don't doubt the Wanker. Coach of the year.
     
  22. Knave

    Knave Member+

    May 25, 1999
    Holy toast!
     
    TOAzer repped this.
  23. The Franchise

    The Franchise Member+

    Nov 13, 2014
    Bakersfield, CA
    Club:
    Real Salt Lake
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Literal bodily resurrection for everyone.
     
  24. Kejsare

    Kejsare Member+

    Portland Timbers
    Mar 10, 2010
    Virginia
    Club:
    Portland Timbers
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    For the purposes of this thread: Perfected bread that is no longer crunchy.
     

Share This Page