What does the player's age or gender have to do with it? You probably should have given the coach a red card too. Sounds like he was accusing you of discrimination.
But she's playing in U16. If she can't handle it, go back down to a lower level of play. Having said that, for me, U14 was generally the point where I started using cards in rec play. If they were on select teams, they got cards no matter what the age when they deserved it. If they can handle tryouts, they can handle cards for misconduct. If not, go back to the rec league.
I got it from a coach when I sent off a u14 keeper for dogos-h. It was a clear red card in a state wide league against a team who made it to the presidents cup state final the previous season. At a certain point "its an ___ year old girl" stops applying and I felt we were way past that point.
So we are supposed to apply the laws differently based on age/gender? Doesn't that go against all the coaches of female teams that say, "Don't call it differently because they are girls."
I've been accused of being too mean because I carded a 16U girl who recklessly plowed through an opponent (she cried when I cautioned her). . . her mom literally complained to my AR during the game . . . But to the age/gender question, I would say no, not exactly. But I think we do (and should) evaluate certain situations on the basis of the level of play. What is an OGSO in the PL often just ain't in a 10U game. And what is reckless may vary with skill, as size and speed are different. But players old enough to yell at the ref and not stop when given the opportunity are certainly able to have the learning opportunity of a caution--and if it is the second one, well, that's a learning experience, too.
One of my few great regrets in my ref'ing career is the time, many years ago when I didn't know any better, I gave a yellow card to a 12-year-old girl in a rec game for statue-ing in front of a free kick at the vocal direction of her coach. Yes, she cried, and yes I had to explain it to her mother after the game. I like to think my theory at the time was I was teaching the coach a lesson – this occurred directly in front of his bench – but that's still one I would like to have back.
In that context, with the new Laws, I'd now caution the coach for delaying the restart. (I thought I might have to ask myself whether to go there in a 14U game last weekend when the coach was yelling "go stand in front of the ball"--but his player actually understood his instruction as (and I think he meant it as) "go stand 10 yards in front of the ball for the wall." That game was actually one of those great AYSO games--while not super high skills (and both teams playing short!), two coaches engaged in positive coaching all game, players having fun, and one team winning its first game of the year 2-1 in the last game of the season.)
U10 boys game, a coach told a player to stand in front of the ball. He did and I went to the player and explained to him why he isn't allowed to do that. I tried to do it loud enough for all the players to hear but not be demonstrative about it. After the game, his mother chased me down and complained about how I "singled out her son and embarrassed him in front of everyone." I told her the other choice was to stand in front of him and hold a yellow card over his head, but that would have been singling him out and embarrassing him as well. She said I should never, ever, referee children again.
You should have asked her if she would like to be a referee. Then she could show you "how to referee children".
I don’t think parents know how not-innocent their little 13 year old girls are. I’ve got two girls, 12 and 13, been coaching them for years, and reffing that age as well. I’ve seen up close while reffing how devilish some of them are. Also the stories on the car ride home are something too. The arm pulling, elbows, and smack talk parents don’t see or how is significant!
I have another story from that indoor league relating to that. Again a U15/16 match and a 9v9 field, which I haven’t been on since early September. One player keeps complaining that I’m in her way. Multiple times, too. And I realize that my first match on such a small field in a long time will be rough and I’ll admit it was 100% my fault a few times, but when I’m jogging at midfield and you sprint around me nearly hitting me when play is extremely tranquil (and that’s not your position anyway, she was a striker) that’s not my fault. I was 100% it was intentional. Got to a point where at a stoppage I called her over and told her it’s a small field, I’m used to a bigger field, I apologize, but I’m also part of the game and she also has to learn to adapt to my positioning. After a battle that she lost near midfield for the ball I get a “what the hell ref” and book her for dissent. Usually the girls make the sarcastic comments with more attitude and with the boys it’s generally yelling
I had a game a few years back, U15 or 16. Nothing memorable. 2-3 yellow cards for each team. Walking to my car after the game and had to pass the parents, I see a Mom and Dad approach me. M&D "Excuse me.." Me...I'm in a decent mood. I'm game. "Yes?" with hand on my phone either to video or call 911 M&D "I'd like to offer you some advice so you can Ref for a long time" Me...Hopefully an only internal eye roll M&D "You looked pretty good out there...but you didn't need to card my son, #15, for a simple disagreement with your call" Me "He said something he shouldn't have" M&D "Not my son, he is always respectful, goes to a good school...." Me, pulling out my book, "and I quote....that was a terrible f-ing call" except I quoted him exactly. M&D shocked silence "thanks for your time. We will talk to him"
That's a rare response. Usually it's, "Not MY child!" I learned this in elementary school over 50 years ago. There was a family with 5 boys. When they got in trouble, the mom denied they'd ever do such a thing.
Indeed. I used to teach high school. I caught a student plagiarizing a paper--literally copied the final 3/4 of the paper from a magazine, which I attached to the paper when I returned it. The parent complained to the department chair that I gave the student a bad grade because I hated the student. Sigh.
It's a long way from north Boston in the old days. If a cop saw a kid misbehaving, they'd threaten to call their parents.
He didn't do it. And if he did it, he didn't mean to. And if he did it and meant to, he didn't understand it. And if he did it and meant it and understood it - well so what, that's not against the the rules it? Oh really? Well then the rule is wrong.
Girl’s HS just finished here, so last weekend were the first club games of the season. U18 D1, 90 seconds in, ball goes out on the spectator line, I signal for a throw-in, and of course a dad yells “awww, Ref, call it both ways.” He has a long season ahead of him.
Referees for a men’s league final (in the US) using AirPods as a comms system. This was from the summer.
Interesting, logistics are curious to me. My AirPod doesn’t work more than 30 feet or so from my phone, so I’m curious how it functions on the field. I wouldn’t be interested in taking my phone out there. On the other hand - they really are so pleasant to use so if there were a way to do it, might be worth looking into. Thanks for sharing.
I was working a Thanksgiving tournament last weekend, well Wednesday. I was going to be on the same field with U15 academy teams all day but for game two, our crew was switched fields because the center on the other field was from the same area as the red team and they see each other regularly. I'm AR1 and sure enough, midway into the second half the goalkeeper for red fancies himself Manuel Neuer and comes 30 yards off his line to play the ball, gets there late, and trips the attacker whom has pushed the ball past. The nearest defender is easily 15 yards away from the tackle. I go up with my flag and grab my ass. Center whistles, red card, and not a peep from the red team bench. After the game the assignor says, "Could you imagine [referee] giving that card!? It doesn't matter how correct it was, the coach would have lost his mind." One of these years I'm going to work the whole tournament because these semis/finals can be LIT (the local Santos fan club usually comes out with drums, ratchets, and sometimes brass).
Mine was a teeny bit lower key . . . AYSO Thanksgiving tournament. Last game for me (and the teams) was the 9 vs. 10 G12 game. As you can imagine, at 9 and 10, neither team was exceptionally skilled. But hard fought game ended 1-0--girls having fun, coaches being positive, parents being positive, everyone happy after the game, and a team of over-qualified refs having fun doing it. (And I even remembered to call it when there was a deliberate header!*) Nice cap for the holiday weekend. ____ *Applied in 12s because there could be younger players.