[Motterman]

Health experts last night expressed concerns for the welfare of the world famous magician whose latest record breaking stunt continues to arouse controversy.

Leicester born Emile Heskey is attempting to spend a marathon 44 days in a penalty box - without scoring a goal.

Friends and supporters say so far he's making excellent progress. And that's despite the many members of the public who've turned out to taunt him by waving footballs and empty nets.

But fears remain for the psychological effects of long-term goal deprivation.

"Over weeks and months it can lead to abuse, frustration and even delusions of grandeur," a psychiatrist told us last night. "Just look at Andy Cole."

Onlookers have also expressed alarm and bewilderment.

"He's just nuts," said one spectator. "We thought Teddy Sheringham was foolhardy when he tried never to score in England internationals - but this guy's taking it too far."

Heskey's latest endeavour is just the latest in a series of outrageous illusions by the 25 year old entertainer.

For the past four years he's attempted to pass himself off as a high-class professional striker - successfully convincing football experts including England boss Sven Goran Eriksson, despite the skepticism of supporters.

The occasional project has ended in failure, with an abortive attempt last year to spend 35 hours standing on a penalty spot in Manhattan without falling over.

His rise to fame has encouraged other leading footballing figures to dip their toes in the world of magic.

In August Harry Kewell successfully emulated his namesake Houdini when he performed a breathtaking escape from a bank vault at Leeds United to join Liverpool.

He'd in turn been inspired by the sensational feat performed by his former chairman Peter Ridsdale, who wowed the world by miraculously transforming £70 million transfer fees into no trophies and a flirt with relegation.

Meanwhile Liverpool manager Gerard Houllier stunned scientists last year with his revival of the ancient art of reverse alchemy - his secret chemical formula turning a Champions League spot into UEFA Cup football.

And mysterious events continue at Stamford Bridge where Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich has already turned Juan Sebastian Veron and Peter Kenyon from red to blue.

He's now reportedly attempting to prove that - by simply adding £110 million - he can turn the club from Premiership also-rans to, erm, Premiership also-rans.

[The Double]

You see? Thats how you punks do it.

[OPArsenal]

Wonderful piece of sarcasm, Motter. You should write for The Onion. I feel more cynical having read that.

Rien mais le Treble!

OPArsenal

_____________
[size=0.75]Double, how 'bout them Jags? Do you live in Jax?[/size]

[nicephoras]

But to be fair, making fun of Emile Heskey is like, well......I can't really think of anything easier, actually. I've never tried shooting fish in a barrel, but that still sounds harder.

[The Double]

Lived in Jax for a summer with a friend, liked it, but wasn't crazy about it. I try to make it down every year at least twice to see games at Alltell.


Sadly, the highlight of the season was having Del Rio's nephew level that idiot during training camp. We should be 1-0 after the game against Carolina, but alas, it was not meant to be. I didn't want to be in this position, going 0-1 against the Bills who look good right now. The defense, having Hugh around is great to boost the team, as he is a locker room presence. But Fernando Bryant has got to start pulling his weight. This, in my opinion, is his make-or-break year.


The offense, it's all about Fred now. I'm not really a praying kind of guy, but every Saturday night, I hope that Fred doesn't get injured. Mark, well, he had a great career, and was/is Jacksonville football. I'm really excited about Leftwich, saw him when he was part of the Herd and really showed promise. QB in the Culpepper mold. If there is a long and successful future ahead for its franchise, then it definetly should not overlook Brunell and his contribution to Jacksonville football. I got the Sunday Ticket just so I could watch them.

Thats enough for now, there is alot of Football talk, be it College or Pro, in the Other Sports forum if your interested, OP.

[655321]

Originally posted by The Double
Lived in Jax for a summer with a friend, liked it, but wasn't crazy about it. I try to make it down every year at least twice to see games at Alltell.


Sadly, the highlight of the season was having Del Rio's nephew level that idiot during training camp. We should be 1-0 after the game against Carolina, but alas, it was not meant to be. I didn't want to be in this position, going 0-1 against the Bills who look good right now. The defense, having Hugh around is great to boost the team, as he is a locker room presence. But Fernando Bryant has got to start pulling his weight. This, in my opinion, is his make-or-break year.


The offense, it's all about Fred now. I'm not really a praying kind of guy, but every Saturday night, I hope that Fred doesn't get injured. Mark, well, he had a great career, and was/is Jacksonville football. I'm really excited about Leftwich, saw him when he was part of the Herd and really showed promise. QB in the Culpepper mold. If there is a long and successful future ahead for its franchise, then it definetly should not overlook Brunell and his contribution to Jacksonville football. I got the Sunday Ticket just so I could watch them.

Thats enough for now, there is alot of Football talk, be it College or Pro, in the Other Sports forum if your interested, OP.

Did I miss something?

[OPArsenal]

Check my fake sig out. Then you'll know. By the way, Double, I kinda figured that that kind of talk would be there.

Rien mais le Treble!

OPArsenal

[soccerchick584]

Originally posted by Motterman
Health experts last night expressed concerns for the welfare of the world famous magician whose latest record breaking stunt continues to arouse controversy.

Leicester born Emile Heskey is attempting to spend a marathon 44 days in a penalty box - without scoring a goal.

Friends and supporters say so far he's making excellent progress. And that's despite the many members of the public who've turned out to taunt him by waving footballs and empty nets.

But fears remain for the psychological effects of long-term goal deprivation.

"Over weeks and months it can lead to abuse, frustration and even delusions of grandeur," a psychiatrist told us last night. "Just look at Andy Cole."

Onlookers have also expressed alarm and bewilderment.

"He's just nuts," said one spectator. "We thought Teddy Sheringham was foolhardy when he tried never to score in England internationals - but this guy's taking it too far."

Heskey's latest endeavour is just the latest in a series of outrageous illusions by the 25 year old entertainer.

For the past four years he's attempted to pass himself off as a high-class professional striker - successfully convincing football experts including England boss Sven Goran Eriksson, despite the skepticism of supporters.

The occasional project has ended in failure, with an abortive attempt last year to spend 35 hours standing on a penalty spot in Manhattan without falling over.

His rise to fame has encouraged other leading footballing figures to dip their toes in the world of magic.

In August Harry Kewell successfully emulated his namesake Houdini when he performed a breathtaking escape from a bank vault at Leeds United to join Liverpool.

He'd in turn been inspired by the sensational feat performed by his former chairman Peter Ridsdale, who wowed the world by miraculously transforming £70 million transfer fees into no trophies and a flirt with relegation.

Meanwhile Liverpool manager Gerard Houllier stunned scientists last year with his revival of the ancient art of reverse alchemy - his secret chemical formula turning a Champions League spot into UEFA Cup football.

And mysterious events continue at Stamford Bridge where Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich has already turned Juan Sebastian Veron and Peter Kenyon from red to blue.

He's now reportedly attempting to prove that - by simply adding £110 million - he can turn the club from Premiership also-rans to, erm, Premiership also-rans.

I love it! Very funny! Made me giggle!

[jumhed]

The classic England theme tune 'World In Motion' by New Order is going to be re-released for Euro 2004 providing England qualify. Heskey has been pencilled in to do John Barnes's rap with his own lyrics;

"My name is Emile Heskey,
and when I do my thing,
the crowd says 'Get up you diving bastarrd'

[giggs88]

well. he has finally scored!!!