[sendorange]

Liverpool manager Gerard Houllier sends scouts out round the world looking for a new striker to replace Emile Heskey, and hopefully win Liverpool the title. One of his scouts informs him of a young Iraqi striker who he thinks will turn out to be a true superstar. So Gerard flies to Iraq to watch him, and is suitably impressed, and arranges for him to come over to Anfield.

Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down at home to Man Utd with only 20 minutes left. Houllier gives the young Iraqi striker the nod to go on, and takes off Emile Heskey. The lad is a sensation, scores 5 in 20 minutes and wins the game for Liverpool. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star. When he comes off the pitch he phones his Mum to tell her about his first day in English football.

"Hi Mum, guess what?" he says. "I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4-0 down, but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the players and the media, they all love me".

"Great," says his Mum, "let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were attacked and beaten, and your brother has joined a gang of looters, while you were having a great time".

The young lad is very upset. "What can I say Mum, I'm so sorry."

"Sorry?" says his Mum "Its your bloody fault we moved to Liverpool in the first place!"

[soccerchick584]

Hehe. That's a good one. Got any Tottenham jokes??

[soccerchick584]

I just read who you support. Sorry about that mate.

[sendorange]

Don't worry soccerchick, you're an A*senal fan who can read, that's good enough for me

[soccerchick584]

Hey now...

[SouthLondonYank]

Don't you find it odd an Arsenal fan is getting off on this joke - please, there would hardly be any irony in it if you swapped Finsbury Park for Merseyside - or are you just one of those Arsenal fans who takes the tube/train to Gillespie Road er... Arsenal from the home counties on matchday

[sendorange]

Relax, it's just an anti-scouser joke, a staple of humour. No need to get sociological on us

[Matt Clark]

Yeah, but it is kind of old. That's the thing with Scouser jokes. No one seems to have thought of any new ones since the mid 1980's. And even then - most of them were invented by Scousers and applied to Mancs.

[Winston Smith]

Funny song I heard from those friendly head hunters at Stamford Bridge last season, to the, er, 'tune' of 'you are my sunshine':

'You dirty scousers,
You thieving scousers,
You're only happy on giro day,

You mum's out stealing,
You're dad's drug dealing,
Please don't take my hubcaps aw-ay'

Almost as funny as the 'Where's your bobby gone?' sing- a-long that sprang out spontaneusly from away supporters when they visited Upton Park just after Bobby Moore had past away, may he rest in peace...

[Motterman]