An Orange Traffic Cone vs. Califf

Discussion in 'USA Men' started by Khan, Jul 29, 2003.

  1. Khan

    Khan Member+

    Mar 16, 2000
    On the road
    Since the Gibbs vs. Califf thread has long since become laughable, let's set up a more even match.

    Both are immobile!
    Both are unathletic!
    Both read the game at a U-12 level!

    One will pull shirts, and foul incessantly.
    One will stand in place until moved by a team mate.

    This is a true quandry...

    Who will win THIS challenge?
     
  2. blkbrnrvr

    blkbrnrvr Member

    Mar 2, 2003
    Auburn metro
    Club:
    Blackburn Rovers FC
    the orange traffic cone has a reputation of being quite resiliant, as he has taken out more than a few Geo Metros in his time.
     
  3. monster

    monster Member

    Oct 19, 1999
    Hanover, PA
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Well since United has started to win, OTC is no longer hovering over Hudson's carcass.
     
  4. CUS

    CUS New Member

    Apr 20, 2000
    Danny Califf can at least kick the ball in the stands. About all he can do, though.
     
  5. Siegen

    Siegen New Member

    Jul 2, 2003
    Boise, Idaho
    I would have voted for the cone, but he is prone to getting red-carded. I know he has "fouled" Guevara quite a few times.
     
  6. Noah Dahl

    Noah Dahl New Member

    Nov 1, 2001
    Pottersville
    Califf is twice as good as the cone.
     
  7. DutchFootballRulez

    Jul 15, 2003
    Baltimore, MD
    Club:
    FC Barcelona
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    A difficult one, but I'd rather play the Corner flag. Put him to mark Hejduk. Especially when Earnie Stewart takes a corner..I swear the Corner flag plays some of the best Defense on Set Pieces I've ever seen.

    But Califf has to be voted he's the "Hejduk stopper"
     
  8. michael greene

    Oct 31, 2002
    Tough Call

    Both could graduate from the University of Maryland, so that's no help in deciding.
     
  9. BroonAleMagpie

    BroonAleMagpie New Member

    Apr 14, 2000
    Fairfax, VA
    Half the time I see OTC, he's stopped a phone company or Comcast van in its tracks and is staring it down. He is one tough mutha. Califf is (marginally) more agile, though.

    OTOH, if Califf does a WWF makeover and becomes The Caliph (with 1930s Hollywood flowing silk robes, turban, and huge--probably plastic--scimitar) then OTC will probably fall over in hysterics. Hey, it's a strategy.

    But the biggest thing OTC has going for him is, of course, being orange.
     
  10. yossarian

    yossarian Moderator
    Staff Member

    Jun 16, 1999
    Big City Blinking
    Club:
    Arsenal FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Another positive....I don't think I've ever seen OTC get deked by Heydude-like step-overs.
     
  11. Khan

    Khan Member+

    Mar 16, 2000
    On the road
    In early returns, Califf is down only ~85% to 15% to The Orange Traffic Cone, while he's down ~91% to 9% to Gibbs!!

    Could this signal the capping of The Orange Traffic Cone? Is OTC the new Heir Apparent to Jeff Agoos [Immobile Defender Position] on the National Team, supplanting Califf?

    Stay tuned...
     
  12. Noah Dahl

    Noah Dahl New Member

    Nov 1, 2001
    Pottersville

    Can't believe "DutchFootballRulez" voted against the orange cone - which we can only assume plays "total football."
     
  13. afgrijselijkheid

    Dec 29, 2002
    mokum
    Club:
    AFC Ajax
    brilliant



    man i hope poor danny doesnt lurk on BS
     
  14. Sam I Am

    Sam I Am New Member

    Jul 30, 2002
  15. CPorter77

    CPorter77 New Member

    Oct 28, 2002
    Va, USA
    Hey you're all overlooking the obvious reason why the cone is better. It can nip at players ankles as they go by, oh wait thats all Califf does.
     
  16. puffnstuff

    puffnstuff New Member

    May 27, 2003
  17. mcontento

    mcontento Member

    Jun 26, 2000
    Catalina Wine Mixer
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    I don't think this is a fair comparison. All OTC does is score goals.
     
  18. astabooty

    astabooty Member

    Nov 16, 2002
    China
    Club:
    FC Barcelona
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    lmfao!!! i dont even need to read any of the posts, the title is enough for me. BRAVO!!!
     
  19. Noah Dahl

    Noah Dahl New Member

    Nov 1, 2001
    Pottersville
    mcontento

    Okay that was frigging hilarious.
     
  20. El Soccer Nerdito

    El Soccer Nerdito New Member

    Jul 23, 2003
    La Pulperia, CA
    I have a buddy who sounds like this...

    ..and he would not admit that the dutch play the best football if you paid him. He also thinks the MLS is one of the top 10 leagues in the world...hah.
     
  21. Khan

    Khan Member+

    Mar 16, 2000
    On the road
    Wow! Califf has SURGED to take 24% of the vote!! Perhaps his candidacy for the position of Immobile Defender is not dead yet!! On the other hand, the Orange Traffic Cone is hungry to get capped!!!

    Let's bring out the vote!
     
  22. Aalborg

    Aalborg New Member

    May 2, 2002
    I say the cone, it has a better left foot
     
  23. Wolves_67

    Wolves_67 Member

    Oct 27, 2002
    Pasadena, CA
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    The OTC has a better looking girlfriend.

    [​IMG]
     
  24. mpruitt

    mpruitt Member

    Feb 11, 2002
    E. Somerville
    Club:
    New England Revolution
    i would've voted for the traffic cone but he's about as tall as richie williams.
     
  25. Poet

    Poet Member+

    Mar 13, 2001
    Toledo, Ohio
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Danny's master plan...

    [​IMG]
     

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