[Catel]

Those few images will help you to determine which French club you are made for - if you're ready for the most insane adventure in the entire world of soccer.


You want a living, a warm club.

You want to thrill, to love, to exult, to cry, to hate as no other club will ever make you do. And you want to do it with as many people as possible. You think you could have 500 000 friends all over the country - or 60 000 in the stadium. Above all you want a city of soccer, a city whose every citizen is before the club, well, it's very rare if not unique in France.

You appreciate that a totally unknown player comes and becomes a European star in less than six months. You hate soccer gypsies.

The love you have for your club transcend the catastrophic way it is ruled - You've read Alfred Jarry and you know the meaning of the word "Ubuesque". You're no more surprised that the managers buy terrible players every year.

You want to support a club that has won the European Champion Clubs' Cup.




You're made for the most popular club in France: Olympique de Marseille.



* French Champion (8): 1937, 1948, 1971, 1972, 1989, 1990, 1991, 1992, 1993 (cancelled).
* French Division 2 (2): 1984, 1995
* French Cup (10): 1924, 1926, 1927, 1935, 1938, 1943, 1969, 1972, 1976, 1989
* UEFA Champions League (1): 1993
o Runners-up (1): 1991
* UEFA Cup (Runners-up) (2): 1999, 2004
* UEFA Intertoto Cup (2): 2005, 2006

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olympique_de_Marseille


Repeat after me the main Marseille chant:
[youtube]IZfCsWVqK9o[/youtube]
Aux aaaaaarmes (bis 2x) (Get your weapons)
Nous sommes les Marseillais (bis) (We are the Marseille people)
Et nous allons gagner (bis) (And we're going to win)
Alleeeeeez l'Ohèmeuh (bis) (Come on OM (with Southern accent))
La la la...

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xecfg_om-psg-1993

Things to know:
-Didier Drogba, Chris Waddle, Jean-Pierre Papin and Basile Boli are living gods there.
-Zidane IS God. He's Marseillais.
-Don't hesitate to criticize the bosses. The ONLY Marseille's Boss is still Bernard Tapie (president from 1987 to 1994).





To be continued...

[Catel]

What you're looking for is the prestige and luxury. You like a bit of aristocratic class (a shirt designed by a Princess) associated with great players: you want a team that is generally in the Top-5 of the League. And despite of the problems of money your class endures since the French Revolution, you still appreciate privileges (as tax exemption). Sun, sea, Riviera, casinos, sport cars, Russian and Arabian mafias outside. Enjoy that you're the only French club able to buy some stars even if they are quiet has-been. Since the 70's you have aligned some of the greatest teams with the greatest names in Europe. That's soccer in a comfortable seat.

Having no public and a small (but glamourous) stadium is not a problem for you. What a plebs ! Seeing football is much more interesting on TV. All fans are scattered in France. Not important ! Your have a lonely passion. Because you know that one day, you'll win. The others have a handicap on you: they pay taxes on wages. Yes, you have problems, but it won't be long now...




You're undoubtably a member of the AS Monaco sect.



* French Champion (7): 1961, 1963, 1978, 1982, 1988, 1997, 2000
* French Cup (5): 1960, 1963, 1980, 1985, 1991
* French League Cup (1): 2003
* Trophée des Champions (2): 1997, 2000
* Coupe Gambardella (2): 1962, 1972
* UEFA Champions League (Runners-up) (1): 2004
* UEFA Cup Winners' Cup (Runners-up) (1): 1992
* Coppa delle Alpi (3): 1979, 1983, 1984

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AS_Monaco_FC

[youtube]V1TjbdcWVQo[/youtube]

Things to know:
-A slogan: "In any club all fans know the players by their name. In Monaco all players know the fans by their name."
-Saviola did nothing here. He was at Monaco for Champion's League only.
-Be a geek. Mention the Argentinian Dellio Onnis, the all-time best French League striker, in the 70's.





To be continued...

[luciusmagister]

That was really fun. Thank you and keep it coming!

[ilv2]

"you must spread some reputation around before giving it to Catel again"

this is fantastic stuff, kudos!

[Sachin]

How about one for Nice?

[lefutur]

good thread. Lyon better be next!

[Catel]

You're an esthete. That's an easy calculation: soccer equal dreaming equal beau jeu. And the beautiful game is unique. You want absolutely a club with the beautiful game as a philosophy, as an essential purpose, as the meaning of life, even more than a culture. If you play bad, even winning, you die.

Your culture is: a home identity, a home history. Local coaches and local-trained players (picked from everywhere). You live on your own. A game style. A one-touch pass style, close to the Argentina soccer. Oh well, you have not much money, so your best players leave every year and your group's fluidity is affected (damned Bosman). Anyway, only your defensive players will succeed in another club. Too bad for the others ! And so much for the high level steadiness. Not so important.

Because elegance is most important than victory. Victory will come with the elegance. Anyway, you only win when no French club is dominating the League. You accept to be a historical club of transition. One more time, the most important is to play well and nice.




You're now a fan of the great FC Nantes !



* French Champion (8): 1965, 1966, 1973, 1977, 1980, 1983, 1995, 2001
* French Cup (3): 1979, 1999, 2000
* Trophée des Champions (2): 1999, 2001
* Coppa delle Alpi (1): 1982

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FC_Nantes_Atlantique

[youtube]RGLffPzKi6g[/youtube]
The magic team with Loko's goal on Pedros' assist (see behind for the compo).

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xmm...-a-la-nantaise

Things to know:
-The current managers are butchers destroying the club.
-Live in "Coco" Suaudeau and Reynald Denoueix's nostalgia and of the "jeu à la nantaise".
-Hate Rennes (local rival of the "derby de Bretagne").




To be continued...

[Inara]

This is awesome, Catel!

I can't wait to see what you have for St. Etienne

[Allez Lyonnais]

Originally Posted by Catel

Boy, Nantes have come a long, long way..

[N. Platini]

When is Paris ?

Not that a newcomer would follow Paris right now .