[jumhed]

Sorry IvanIV. Its a good idea, and I'm thieving it.

Sunday 23rd July. End Of Season Finale. My eldest son of 7 years was chosen to play against my 5yr olds team. I don't mean to sound cruel, but my only explanation for the eldest being chosen must've been because of a rash of localised bubonic plague amongst his squad. Bless them.

My 5yr old started crying because he didn't want to play, he only wanted to 'just practise tricks' on his own, and I had to assure him that, 'Son, you're playing against your older brother, you'll have all the time in the world to practice tricks, especially if he's defending." He perked up.

The match was a tight affair. My eldest danced around the ball as if it was an explosive and his feet were on fire.

The 5yr old decided that by hook or by crook, and no matter where he was on the pitch, he was going to practice his favourite new trick - The Drag Back.

When he got that ball, he drag backed like a lunatic! He was going round and round, like a one-legged frog, except going backwards. Meanwhile, the eldest danced around him, like a crazed Micheal Flatley doing his own soccer version of 'Riverdance'.

Entire attacks from my 5yr old's team would break down whenever the ball went near him. Screams of "Pass!" went unheeded, as he merrily drag-backed his way around a random part of the pitch.

Meanwhile, the eldest's team had gotten fed-up of his on-field shenanigans, and the way that when they passed to him he'd shepherd it out of play with his demented dancing, even when through on goal. So they made him goalkeeper. Not the best position for a child who seems to be allergic to soccer ball leather.

Once my 7yr old had let a goal in, he stomped off in a huff (last seen hurling training cones into a bush). But his team would never recover without his lightning quick dancing feet, and they collapsed and lost 7-4.

The 5yr old was ecstatic with his winners medal, but complained to me that his own team kept tackling him and stopped passing to him.

I'm going to teach him how to vary his skills and tricks, maybe interjecting them with the occasional pass.

I'm not sure how to teach the eldest. Maybe, "This is a ball. Kick it thus."

[The Double]

Jumhed has the best stories about his kids football exploits. This one was no different.

[Danners9]

I need to get me some kids! They better inherit my ability or else..!!

Good stories

[ox utd]

that's another quality read.

[IvanIV]

ROFL!!

Good God! Too funny....sides still hurting....
No need to apologize...sadly I may have to retire my thread because there is no way to compete with this...

[Skizz]

jumhed,

This sort of story is exactly why i'm fuming I have a daughter. Oh well, I'll just have to rub Deep Heat on the other bollock and hope a boy this time

[IvanIV]

juhmed, you must be ready to post their exploits again this season...

[mattie g]

I'd love to see it.

BTW - where the hell is Danners?

[jumhed]

Jumhed's family footie update;

Latest - The eldest, now 8yrs, has decided to join (and I shitteth ye not), A dance club. Yes I know. He dances. I'm slightly concerned.

The middley, now 6yrs, continues to play with much enthusiasm, but only goes to training now. He can attempt tricks to his hearts content. He's happy and gets medals and stuff. Usually for effort.

Now the youngest isn't yet 3, and there is hope for him. He has an incredible shot for a toddler. He does wear glasses though.

[IvanIV]

ok the pump has been primed...