[jumhed]

What I did on my Summer Holiday, By Theo Walcott Esq aged 16 & 2 days
I went to a place called Germany with my Uncle Sven and some other
grown up's. It is a country in Europe where a bad man called Adolf
used to live with his nazties, he does not live there anymore, Uncle
Owen does live there, and the grown up's say I cant talk about the bad
man as it will make Uncle Owen cry if I do.

In Germany there are lots of castles and some mountains. We are
staying in a place called Baden Baden that's a silly name, Uncle Frank
has the same name as his dad, that's silly too, his mum must get their
underpants mixed up all the time.

On the aeroplane Uncle Sol sat next to me, he got me some toffee and
wants to be my friend, he works at the place where I do my YTS, so
does Uncle Freddy but him and Uncle Sol are not best friends anymore.

Uncle Owen met us at the airport, he talks foreign, Uncle Wayne, Uncle
Steven and Uncle David also talk funny, my mum says Uncle David talks
like Orville, he is a duck, Uncle Sol say's uncle David wears dresses
and knickers, and asked me if I had ever worn them. Uncle Sol got me
some pop.

In Germany the grown ups are going to play football, my grandad says
we beat them in the olden days before my mum was born. That is a long
time ago.

While the grown up's went to play football so I went shopping with
Auntie Vicky and some other girls she bought me a big ice cream and
got herself a little one but she said she was full before she had
eaten any and threw it away. She bought lots of shoes and handbags and
let me play with Brooklyn. She say's she used to be in a pop band and
sang me one of her songs, I think she was telling fibs.

I told Uncle Sol about my day out with Vicky and he sulked, then he
bought me an even bigger ice cream with lots of hundred's & thousands
on it. All the other grown up's have a girlfriend except Uncle Sol so
he plays with me while they go out. Uncle Sven says I must keep Uncle
Sol happy, that's why I got taken on holiday.

The grown up's went to play Football against somebody called Sweden,
Uncle Sol was crying as Uncle Freddy played for them and would not
talk to him. Uncle Sol bought me lots of toffee today and some crisps.
Uncle Sven is from Sweden and I heard him on the phone to their boss
last night.

Uncle Michael hurt his knee and had to go home to his mum for a
plaster.

Uncle Peter is a giant, a proper giant like you see in books, he is
rubbish at football though.

Uncle Wayne had a sore toe at the start of out holiday but it got
better so they let him play football.

Uncle Sol got me a present but I do not like it. He says all Germans
wear leather underpants and I should while we are here, they are too
tight for me.

All the grown up's started to call Uncle Wayne a potato head who stood
on somebodys spuds. He got shouted at by the referee. They are all
saying that we have to go home now.

Uncle Sol was crying again and I had to sit on his knee to make him
stop. He had his mobile phone in his pocket, I think.

[PoshSpur]

Absolutely superb!

[ox utd]

I am speechless!!! Everyone at work thinks something is wrong with me b/c I'm hyperventilating from laughing too hard. Brilliant! How much rep do I have to spread around before I can give jumhead his due, again????????

[Dave_M]

That is pretty godamn funny. Wonder who the source is

[THFC1]

Another post only Jumhed could make.

[OrlandoSPUR]

Originally Posted by Dave_M

That is pretty godamn funny. Wonder who the source is

...i'm pretty sure Jumhed was the source of that.....classic post

[Theo Walcott]

Thanks jumhed for posting my diary!

I had a very fun time in the land with all the bad nazties.

[AfrcnHrbMan]

HAHA That was enjoyable.

[Colm]

Originally Posted by jumhed

What I did on my Summer Holiday, By Theo Walcott Esq aged 16 & 2 days
I went to a place called Germany with my Uncle Sven and some other
grown up's. It is a country in Europe where a bad man called Adolf
used to live with his nazties, he does not live there anymore, Uncle
Owen does live there, and the grown up's say I cant talk about the bad
man as it will make Uncle Owen cry if I do.

In Germany there are lots of castles and some mountains. We are
staying in a place called Baden Baden that's a silly name, Uncle Frank
has the same name as his dad, that's silly too, his mum must get their
underpants mixed up all the time.

On the aeroplane Uncle Sol sat next to me, he got me some toffee and
wants to be my friend, he works at the place where I do my YTS, so
does Uncle Freddy but him and Uncle Sol are not best friends anymore.

Uncle Owen met us at the airport, he talks foreign, Uncle Wayne, Uncle
Steven and Uncle David also talk funny, my mum says Uncle David talks
like Orville, he is a duck, Uncle Sol say's uncle David wears dresses
and knickers, and asked me if I had ever worn them. Uncle Sol got me
some pop.

In Germany the grown ups are going to play football, my grandad says
we beat them in the olden days before my mum was born. That is a long
time ago.

While the grown up's went to play football so I went shopping with
Auntie Vicky and some other girls she bought me a big ice cream and
got herself a little one but she said she was full before she had
eaten any and threw it away. She bought lots of shoes and handbags and
let me play with Brooklyn. She say's she used to be in a pop band and
sang me one of her songs, I think she was telling fibs.

I told Uncle Sol about my day out with Vicky and he sulked, then he
bought me an even bigger ice cream with lots of hundred's & thousands
on it. All the other grown up's have a girlfriend except Uncle Sol so
he plays with me while they go out. Uncle Sven says I must keep Uncle
Sol happy, that's why I got taken on holiday.

The grown up's went to play Football against somebody called Sweden,
Uncle Sol was crying as Uncle Freddy played for them and would not
talk to him. Uncle Sol bought me lots of toffee today and some crisps.
Uncle Sven is from Sweden and I heard him on the phone to their boss
last night.

Uncle Michael hurt his knee and had to go home to his mum for a
plaster.

Uncle Peter is a giant, a proper giant like you see in books, he is
rubbish at football though.

Uncle Wayne had a sore toe at the start of out holiday but it got
better so they let him play football.

Uncle Sol got me a present but I do not like it. He says all Germans
wear leather underpants and I should while we are here, they are too
tight for me.

All the grown up's started to call Uncle Wayne a potato head who stood
on somebodys spuds. He got shouted at by the referee. They are all
saying that we have to go home now.

Uncle Sol was crying again and I had to sit on his knee to make him
stop. He had his mobile phone in his pocket, I think.

Saw that on another website. Twas very funny