[Excape Goat]

"Second place in the World Cup is a complete failure. It"s like yoyu are chatting up a girl and she says you are second in her affections because she prefers someone else." --Senate Aldo Rebelo who started the inquiry on WC 1`998 Final in Brazil.


More please....

[midknight]

"It is better to win 10 times 1-0 than win once 10-0."

Former Paris St. Germain coach Vahid Hadzilovich after havng his team criticised for yet another insipid display decided by a goal off a corner...

[Henry Porter]

All are from Brian Clough

"I wouldn't say I was the best manager in the business. But I was in the top one" - On his own success.

"If God had wanted us to play football in the clouds, he'd have put grass up there" - On the importance of passing the ball to feet.

"I only ever hit Roy the once. He got up so I couldn't have hit him very hard" - On dealing with Roy Keane.

"We talk about it for 20 minutes and then we decide I was right" - On dealing with players who disagree with him.

"At last England have appointed a manager who speaks English better than the players" - On the appointment of Sven-Goran Eriksson.

"I'm sure the England selectors thought if they took me on and gave me the job, I'd want to run the show. They were shrewd because that's exactly what I would have done" - On not getting the England manager's job.

"Players lose you games, not tactics. There's so much crap talked about tactics by people who barely know how to win at dominoes" - On England's exit from Euro 2000.

"The Derby players have seen more of his balls than the one they're meant to be playing with" - On a streaker who once interrupted a Derby County-Manchester United match.

Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson
In a champion's league: Cloughie 2-1 Ferguson

"Manchester United in Brazil? I hope they all get bloody diarrhoea" - On Manchester United's decision to opt out of the FA Cup to play in the World Club Championship in 2000.

"For all his horses, knighthoods and championships, he hasn't got two of what I've got. And I don't mean balls" - Referring to Sir Alex Ferguson's failure to win two successive European Cups.

"I can't even spell spaghetti never mind talk Italian. How could I tell an Italian to get the ball? He might grab mine" - On the influx of foreign players.

"I like my women to be feminine, not sliding into tackles and covered in mud" - On women and football.

"Anybody who can do anything in Leicester but make a jumper has got to be a genius" - His tribute to Martin O'Neill, who used to manage Leicester City.

"That Seaman is a handsome young man but he spends too much time looking in his mirror rather than at the ball. You can't keep goal with hair like that" - On the pony-tailed former England goalkeeper David Seaman.

"If a chairman sacks the manager he initially appointed, he should go as well" - Saying that too many managers lose their jobs.

"I thought it was my next-door neighbour because I think she felt that if I got something like that I would have to move" - Guessing who nominated him for a knighthood.

"Who the hell wants 14 pairs of shoes when you go on holiday? I haven't had 14 pairs in my life" - On the contents of Victoria Beckham's missing luggage.

"He should guide Posh in the direction of a singing coach because she's nowhere near as good at her job as her husband" - Advice for David Beckham.

"Don't send me flowers when I'm dead. If you like me, send them while I'm alive" - After the liver transplant which saved his life.

"I want no epitaphs of profound history and all that type of thing. I contributed. I would hope they would say that, and I would hope somebody liked me." - On being remembered

[cachundo]

"When the seagulls follow the trawler, it's because they think that sardines will be thrown into the sea" - ERIC CANTONA

[dor02]

Ian Rush:

"Playing in Italy was like playing in a foreign country." - Rushie after playing for Juve.

Hristo Stoichkov:

"God is still Bulgarian but the referee was French." - Stoichkov on his claim about God being Bulgarian after the Bulgaria lost to Italy at USA 94.

Vittorio Pozzo:

"English players can be treated collectively. Italians have to be treated individually. They like to know that you're on their side." - Pozzo's interpretation on how some Italians like think they're right all the time and the team mentality regarding Azzurri squads.

[Fulham Fan]

Phil Woosnam:

"The rules of soccer are very simple, basically it is this: if it moves, kick it. If it doesn't move, kick it until it does."

[unclesox]

Gordon Strachan

... on Wayne Rooney
Its an incredible rise to stardom. At 17 you're more likely to get a call from Michael Jackson than Sven Goran Eriksson.

Reporter: Gordon, Do you think James Beattie deserves to be in the England squad?
Strachan: I dont care, I'm Scottish.

Reporter: "Gordon, can we have a quick word please?"
Strachan: "Velocity" [walks off]

Reporter: Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are the right man to turn things around?
Strachan: No. I was asked if I thought I was the right man for the job and I said, "No, I think they should have got George Graham because I'm useless."

Reporter: Is that your best start to a season?
Strachan: Well I've still got a job so it's far better than the Coventry one, that's for sure.

Reporter: Are you getting where you want to be with this team?
Strachan: We're not doing bad. What do you expect us to be like? We were eighth in the league last year, in the cup final and we got into Europe. I don't know where you expect me to get to. Do you expect us to win the Champions League?

Reporter: Gordon, you must be delighted with that result?
Strachan: You're spot on! You can read me like a book.

Reporter: Gordon, Austin Delgado?
Strachan: I've got more important things to think about. I've got a yogurt to finish by today, the expiry date is today. That can be my priority rather than Agustin Delgado.

Reporter: This might sound like a daft question, but you'll be happy to get your first win under your belt, won't you?
Strachan: You're right. It is a daft question. I'm not even going to bother answering that one. It is a daft question, you're spot on there.

Reporter: Bang, there goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?
Strachan: No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe! jump of a bridge. Umm, I think I can take it, yeah.

Reporter: There's no negative vibes or negative feelings here?
Strachan: Apart from yourself, we're all quite positive round here. I'm going to whack you over the head with a big stick, down negative man, down.

Reporter: Where will Marion Pahars fit into the team line-up?
Strachan: Not telling you! It's a secret.

Reporter: You don't take losing lightly, do you Gordon?
Strachan: I don't take stupid comments lightly either.

Reporter: So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?
Strachan: What areas? Mainly that big green one out there....

... on being in 4th place
I'm going home now to get myself a Coca-Cola and a packet of crisps and I'll sit in front of the television and look at the table on Teletext all night.

I have discovered that when you go to Anfield or Old Trafford, it pays not to wear a coloured shirt because everyone can see the stains as the pressure mounts. I always wear a white shirt so nobody sees you sweat.

[Excape Goat]

What about the Lineker quote on the game of football and in the end the Germans win?

[Disco Dale]

More from Clough:-

"He may look like a tramp, but give him a ball and a yard of grass and he's an artist", on John Robinson

"My granny could have scored that in her pinny", on the "million pound goal" that Trevor Francis scored in the European Cup Final.

Hoary old one from Bill Shankley:-
"Some people think football is a matter of life and death, but that’s ridiculous:- its far more important than that"

Kenny Dalglish, when asked if someone (sorry, forget who) would play the following Saturday:-
"I don't know, ask my wife. She picks the team"

Michael Robinson tells some great stories about being at Liverpool, he was Joe Fagin's first signing, and Bob Paisley was there at the negotiations too. Robinson asked them, if he signed, how would they want him to play? They looked at each other, with concerned looks on their faces, and said "We are paying a lot of money for you, we hope you know how to play", Robinson said, "No, what system? How would I fit in?" they exchanged glances and Paisley, who presided over one of the greatest sides in the world said:-

"Listen, son, football is a simple game. The guy in goal tries to stop the ball going in the net. The defenders try and stop them having a shot. The guys in the middle get the ball, and pass it up to you. When you have the ball, you try and put in the net, if you can't, you give it to the other fella, who will try and score."

John Beck, former manager of Cambridge, pre match talk:-
"Zig-zag to the onion bag"

Chris White (ex Leeds) got stabbed once, and when asked why he thought he was attacked he said:-
"They must have thought I was Paul Ince"

Should be able to remember who, but can't, sorry... a football writer:-
"Kevin Keegan isn't fit to lace George Best's drinks"

Unknown (english) commentator:-
"June 21st 1970. World Cup Final day. All roads lead to the Azteca"

[minorthreat]

My signature: "¡Con el pito nos los follamos, que somos el Real Madrid!"

(Very) rough translation: "We will ******** them at the whistle, because we're Real Madrid!"