[vetshak]

I'm sharing this story with the full knowledge all of you should condemn me to referee hell for my actions in this game. So if anybody wants to call me chicken bleep, go for it, I deserve it...

Last night I'm centering the final HS regular season game for 2 mediocre boys teams. They've been seeded #7 (white) and #10 (red) in a 13-team section, to give you an idea.

The coach of the #7 team is retiring after this season; this is his final home game. They have a big pre-game ceremony where the town mayor issues a proclamation naming the day in the coach's honor. There's about 150 former players in the crowd.

The assignor told me last week he wanted me on this game because he wanted a good crew to send off this coach, who has been one of the local fathers of youth soccer for the past 30 years and has always treated officials with dignity and respect. I've never seen the guy utter a dark word towards a ref. I've done his team a gazillion times. I completely understand and grasp the honor of receiving this assignment.

The last regular season game of HS is always hit or miss anyway. Sometimes, you get teams going through the motions in anticipation of playoffs. Then you have kids who clearly do not grasp the idea that if they get red carded in this game, they miss the playoff game. For teams seeded 7 and 10, this could me the end of a season or career.

A few years back, I had an orange card that I went yellow with in a final regular season game for this very reason. After the game, I felt utterly awful about it as I realized I should have sent the kid off. I let the possibility of a kid missing his playoff game keep me from dealing with 100% misconduct, and I swore I would never do that again.

So after all the pre-game speeches, we get going in 28-degree weather. The field had a layer frost on it already at 7:30 PM (so you Florida guys, quit complaining about the weather!). It's a bit slick, but 10 minutes in I realized the kids seem to have forgotten the impending playoffs. I'm not calling a ton of fouls, but the ones that are occurring are not the easy trips... they are borderline reckless challenges.

I pull the first caution at 6 minutes to red #6 for a nasty late slide tackle from the front... no studs, but it's late and the legs are up. Maybe the kid also slid on the frosty grass, but that doesn't take away from the danger of the challenge.

6 minutes later, another caution to red, this one for dissent. Called a foul on green, red #10 tells me I need to card him. I tell red #10 to relax, it's not a cautionable foul, to which he yells at me, "No, you're wrong!". OK, that's an easy dissent card.

White #1 picks up a caution 10 minutes later for a tactical handball... red is clearing, kid sticks his hand out and knocks the ball down. Just stupid, but clearly a caution.

5 minutes after that, White #23 is shielded from a ball by a red defender as it rolls to the red GK. #23 had already been warned verbally for a hard foul in the midfield five minutes earlier. Now he absolutely crushes the defender, sending him flying into the GK. I caution #23 for persistent infringement.

Last card of the half to red #12... 2 minutes to go, white plays a ball forward, #12 makes no attempt to avoid the white player, and drops a shoulder into the guy's chest.

As I head to the touchline with my ARs, I admit to them I'm terrified that some kid is going to get a red in this game. The purpose of the first caution was to send a message, but after that I had two other cautions for really reckless challenges, plus some stupid player tricks. 5 cautions in a game was my max all season (including USSF summer games)... I've now hit 5 in the 1st half! And I am fully aware that if they players don't clean it up, continuing to throw yellows is going to be an exercise in futility and will suggest I don't have the courage to go to my back pocket.

My ARs are 100% on board with me. They agree that all 5 cards were warranted. We discuss numerous other events that could have been unsporting, an elbow to the midsection here, a dirty look there. The game is boiling, and we are in agreement that the players are not responding.

The two coaches approach us together about 3 minutes into halftime. The retiring coach leads the conversation, and notes that we have five kids in jeopardy of missing their playoff game on Thursday. I tell him I am just as concerned about this, but if I don't caution these fouls or deal with the dissent, somebody is going to get hurt. I plead with the coaches to use their halftime talks to convince the kids to clean it up. If they commit a foul in the second half, apologize to the other guy and accept it, instead of giving dirty looks. Convince me they want to finish this game clean. The coaches agree they will do this, and I tell them if I can see the changes, I will give the kids the benefit of the doubt.

Whatever they said to their kids, it worked. I had 14 fouls in the 1st half between the two teams, I had 4 in the 2nd. The game goes to OT 0-0, and between periods my ARs tell me they noted a dramatic change in the kids' behavior between halves. The only cautionable foul was a tactical foul by red #2 on a run down their left flank... #2 got up an immediately apologized to the white player, who graciously accepted. By the letter of the law, I could have still cautioned red #2, but I've seen the players and coaches make an effort, so I decide the game doesn't need a card for this. The entire half, kids crash into each other and apologize. They're pulling out of challenges they went into recklessly in the 1st half. I'm thinking maybe we did a good thing.

In the first OT (2 full 5's in our state), White #1 gets free in the PA. #2 tries a desperation tackle and trips him. It's an easy PK call, and nobody complains.

It's also a clear DOGSO. There is no doubt in my mind. #2 red is a senior captain, and the halftime discussion wafts through my brain. Nobody is asking for a card. I keep it in my pocket. I make eye contact with my AR and mouth the words, "Should be red." He nods in understanding. If there is an assessor in the stands watching me, I fail the game, and believe me, I know it.

White scores, 1-0. But this is not my MOT.

A minute later, there is a bouncing ball into red's PA. The keeper claims it, but white #21 fails to stop himself on the slick grass and slides standing into the GK and knocks him over. He is immediately apologetic as I come flying into the goal area to make sure no red players decide to take revenge. #21 is already apologizing to me as well.

It was a hard charge, no question, and considering how things had gone in the 2nd half, he didn't try hard enough to pull out. Red was frustrated having just gone down 1-0 and now having watched their GK get buried. The game needed a caution here, even if the guy was apologizing in the spirit of the 2nd half. But I choked and decided not caution, all the while the red defenders are demanding a caution. Remember, this is MN... in this state, hitting the GK in soccer is considered on par with hockey, and anybody who knows anything about hockey would know that hitting the goalie results in retribution.

30 seconds later, I get it. What's worse, it's #10 red right in front of his own bench. White #9 plays a ball forward, and #10 clocks him with an elbow to the chest. Mind you, #10 has already been booked for dissent. And again, I choke. I should have sent him off with at least a second caution, but I gag on prior situations... the halftime conversation, the fact that red's GK just got hit hard and I didn't punish it. I yell at #10 to knock it off, and that's it.

Finally, right before the end of the 1st OT period, one of the white players hits #10 red with a cheap shot to the midsection. I'm screened on this one, but #10 goes down hard and takes about 10 seconds to get up. I pause the game to make sure he's OK, and he asks me why I didn't call a foul or card the miscreant. I tell him I didn't see a foul. In the back of the mind, I'm thinking, "Dude, you totally deserved that."

The thing about this game that upset me was that I specifically told the coaches at halftime that if I didn't administer misconduct for the reckless challenges, the kids would start taking matters into their own hands. The coaches talked me into avoiding red cards so their kids could play Thursday in playoffs, and then the kids wound up doing exactly what I told the coaches was going to happen when I honored their request.

It's not our job to keep 22 players on the field. It's not out job to make sure a senior gets a chance to play in what could be his team's last game. It's not our job to share the coaches' concerns about the implication of suspensions on their impending playoff games. It's our job to keep the game safe. It's our job to administer misconduct so the players don't do it themselves.

I didn't do that last night. And I share this story with everybody so they can learn from my mistakes.

[Elizondo]

Good self-assessment. It's really not about the work we do in front of an assessor, it's the work we do in analyzing our day to day performances and our efforts to improve in each match we do. If we blow off the inconvenient truths and don't discuss the uncomfortable stuff, we don't improve.

[bluedevils]

so you made it thru the game with no red cards?

Good learning experience. Good post.

[bluedevils]

Originally Posted by Elizondo

Good self-assessment. It's really not about the work we do in front of an assessor, it's the work we do in analyzing our day to day performances and our efforts to improve in each match we do. If we blow off the inconvenient truths and don't discuss the uncomfortable stuff, we don't improve.

Great point. And there are entirely too many referees -- the vast majority, some might say -- who are in this camp.

[Elizondo]

Putting aside that this was NFHS...We often hear something along these lines:

Grade 8 referees see something happen and the gears start grinding and by the time they decide it was or wasn't a foul or misconduct, the game is somewhere else, and requires a new decision.

Grade 7 referees see something happen and react quickly with regard to foul or no foul, misconduct or no misconduct.

Grade 6 referees see something that is about to happen and act to prevent it from occurring or act to minimize its consequences and as a result, they have a calming influence on the game.

Thinking back, what could you have done before your half-time chat (which, I note with interest, the coaches initiated) to get the players on track before all the cautions? What is your typical relationship with captains? How much do you employ the lower rungs on your ladder of control (voice, presence)? Do you work to identify your problem children and your "helpers"? What methods do you employ to get the players to self-police their own actions?

[ColumbusSoccerRef]

I think most of us have been there in one way or another. We let something or someone shake us from calling our game.

Something that has helped me with what you describe is to remember that player behavior is a player responsibility. It's the players' game and they will tell you through their actions whether they care about being sent off or not. Not to say to go looking for send-offs, but you have to call the game that's in front of you - not the game that you (or the coaches) hope is in front of you.

-- CSR

[Rufusabc]

I had an experience at a college showcase last fall. At the ref's meeting, the assignor told us to keep the kids on the field as they were here to be evaluated, and basically keep the cards in your pocket. Well, somebody must have told the two teams I centered that day the same thing. It was an absolute NIGHTMARE. I'm thinking in the back of my head what the assignor said at the pre-tourny meeting,and I'm wondering what in heaven's name these kids are showing a college scout (that they know how to go in hard on a tackle to destroy someone's legs??) or they know how to bitch and moan about every call? It was my WORST game ever and all because I had it in my head that I wasn't going to use my usual bag of tricks because these teams had paid good money for their players to be seen by a whole bunch of college scouts. NEVER AGAIN....it's not my fault you want to play that way, but I certainly will not allow it to happen again.

[NHRef]

From the sounds of it you have identified the MOT and that was the keeper challenge. Sounds like a card here MIGHT have calmed the world, but maybe not.

To Elizondo's question, aside from showing cards, what other management tools did you use? voice, discussions etc. Everyone approaches this different but a good butt chewing goes a long way, there is a point however where the players, as you said, take care of it themselves.

Our goal is not to end with 22 players, this can get you in trouble, when someone needs to go, they need to go and the players know when this is as well.

Good post!

[jayhonk]

Ya know, Vetshak, your performance in this game isn't the end of the world. If it was just you wanting to have all the players finish the game, that would be one thing; but when the coaches approach you and the players try to change their behavior, then you are just a part of a bigger picture. If boundaries were crossed, it's not all on you.

The DOGSO, meh, sometimes players call for Red when it isn't, and sometimes they don't when maybe it is. Let that one slide. The only time you backed off too far is when the striker ran into the Keeper in OT. If you know he isn't sitting on Yellow, and knowing local 'customs', probably need a YC here. But, the unfortunate thing about MOTs is that you don't know you missed it until later. As it is, the game ends 5 minutes later, a couple of guys are a bit perturbed, but really all is well. I don't think the soccer gods are pissed, they know what you were doing.

As Elizondo notes, it is good to reconsider your actions and your general approach. But, don't let the pendulum in your self-analysis swing too far towards "doing it by the book next time". Sure you can think that today, but I don't think it is the clear lesson here.

[vetshak]

Originally Posted by Elizondo

Thinking back, what could you have done before your half-time chat (which, I note with interest, the coaches initiated) to get the players on track before all the cautions? What is your typical relationship with captains? How much do you employ the lower rungs on your ladder of control (voice, presence)? Do you work to identify your problem children and your "helpers"? What methods do you employ to get the players to self-police their own actions?

In hindsight, of the 14 1st half fouls, there were four advantages and 10 whistles, so not a ton of stoppages for fouls. I guess as I think back, there wasn't a ton of fouls, but the ones I did call tended to be hard.

The first card came at 6 minutes. White actually kept possession on the play, but I still stopped play because of the nature of the foul... I wanted to snuff those types of fouls out before it worsened. That was why I was concerned at halftime... 5 cards meant the message wasn't getting through.

Could I have used voice, etc. to prevent the other four cards? Possibly. For the dissent card, I didn't provoke the kid, just asked him to move on, and he chose to yell publicly that I was wrong. The caution for the handball... like I said, pure dumbness. The PI card came after I told the player to settle, so I tried to use a quiet word to defuse. The last caution came on the shoulder to the chest... after four prior cautions, one would hope the players would be responding at that point.

I think the coaches were sincere and very professional in their approach to us at halftime. At no point did they say I was calling things that shouldn't be fouls, nor did they argue that the things that were carded shouldn't have been. Honestly... I think the retiring coach simply wanted to make sure I wasn't going to go card-happy in the second half, and I felt that both coaches made a concerted effort to rein in their players.

I think it's important to differentiate here... I didn't have a problem with his approach or the conversation; where I erred was allowing that conversation to impact my OT decisions. I don't think the coach gamed me... I think I gamed myself.