The All-American XI :: Week 11

This week’s AAXI must, alas, begin on the sad note of an unfortunate and untimely passing. He was a man who brought joy to thousands. The mere mention of his name left a smile on the face and filled the air with laughter. Indeed, many mirthful evenings were spent throwing back beers and telling yarns about his latest escapades. Yes, my friends, Nick Sakiewicz will be dearly missed. This week’s AAXI is dedicated to his memory.

(Well, truth be told, he’s not really dead. But it’s such fun to pretend.)

But why was Nick loved? Was it for who he was? Hell, no. The man was a complete schmuck. He was loved for what he did, and what he did was make MetroFans miserable. He was good at it too, a true master of the art. Of course, he had his detractors, namely the MetroFans themselves. But for many others around the league the sight of a miserable MetroFan is testament to the fact that all is right in the universe. It is a cause for celebration, for rejoicing, for thanking the deity of your choice that you’re not one of those beaten and persecuted slobs paying through the nose for the indignity of an evening at the Meadowlands watching the MetroStars mutilate the game of soccer.

Not too long ago (about two months ago, in fact) AEG called the MetroStars a “model organization.” Today, head finally dislodged from ass, AEG is calling the MetroStars an embarrassment, and poor Nick, who brought so much joy to our lives, has been fired. Of course they don’t call it “fired” at AEG. They say it’s a “promotion.” We, however, are smart enough not to be taken in by such corporate double speak.

It gets worse. Now the corner office types at AEG are getting serious about the MetroStars. They no longer want the club to be a money losing laughingstock. No, they want it “to become the first super club to emerge from MLS.” A truly frightening prospect. And they really are serious. How can you tell they’re serious? Look no further than Alexi Lalas, the man they chose to replace Nick. The first thing that pops to mind when you hear the name “Alexi Lalas” is, naturally, serious. And if that’s not what comes immediately to mind, then you must actually know who Alexi Lalas is.

Obviously this move left the Earthquakes in the lurch. Fortunately, the fans in San Jose are used to that sort of thing, and the fact that they now have no general manager doesn’t seem to worry them for the most part. “AEG ignored us even when we had a general manager,” say some. “This is a sign,” say others enthusiastically, “a sign that local ownership is imminent, a sign that a stadium deal is on the way. Otherwise AEG wouldn’t have pulled up stakes here. Otherwise AEG wouldn’t have abandoned us. Otherwise I’d have to slit my wrists.”

The always excitable Crew fans, however, have completely lost their religion amid all this news. Rongen’s firing (oh, sorry, that was another promotion) a couple weeks back had already set them chattering. “Could it be? Maybe? Perhaps Greg’s days are numbered too!” Yes, they are a very excitable sort. For them the news about Nick (bless his heart) couldn’t have come at a worse time. With the wreck of the MetroStars being salvaged, the hope in Ohio is that the Crew will now assume the title of the most embarrassing team in the league. “Surely,” they say, “if we’re the most embarrassing team in the league then Greg will certainly get fired.”

Contrary to popular belief, the AAXI isn’t just about willfully excluding the best American players from the weekly list in favor of Justin Mapp (who had a fine game this week – an assist, a yellow card, and everything!). No, we want to help people. We want to make the world of MLS better. So in hopes of restoring the league to its proper order we’re going to propose a solution to all these crises. For the good of the league we urge MLS to follow our advice. If we send Bob Bradley to Columbus, and Greg Andrulis to the MetroStars, then we can make the Crewligans happy, and insure the misery of the MetroFans for years to come. Of course, this solution utterly neglects the Earthquakes situation. That’s alright though. They’re accustomed to neglect in San Jose.

So Nick, wherever you are, here’s to you! (But don’t come back. Ever.)

A return to an attacking 3-4-3 for the Best XI this week:

• Zach Wells, Metrostars (2):
  The Metros couldn't prevent shots--DC United took 28 shots, with 14 on goal--and Zach stonewalled everything. He was poised and well-positioned throughout the match, diving this way and that, tapping balls over the bar, coming off his line aggressively, playing without mistakes, encouraging his inexperienced defense in a way that belied his own inexperience--just a stunning performance in every respect. On many occasions when lesser goalkeepers would've overcommitted, Wells held a strong line and gave United little to shoot at. If not for Wells, DC United would have won the game handily.
  
  
• Todd Dunivant, Galaxy (2):
  Not sure this was the most challenging game for the Galaxy defense, but a huge goal-line clearance by Dunivant prevented this one from turning into one of those "Study in Frustration" games for the Galaxy. He perhaps didn’t get forward as much as a “modern” left back should in a game that stayed 0-0 for so long, but he was very effective distributing when he did and had another neat and tidy performance on defense, as the little bit of offense that RSL generated did not come from their right side. He is still waiting for a National team call up at an extremely weak Nats position (hope you read this before you turn in your Gold Cup roster, Bruce).
  
  
• Michael Parkhurst, Revolution (3):
  The rookie had a another great game. We feel like a broken record, but his understanding of the game and his position is unreal. He's always in the right place, and it never fails to appear like he's mentally a step or two ahead of his opponents. The woodwork did bail out the Revs a couple of times, but it was the Parkhurst-led defense that forced the Wizards to take those speculative shots from relatively long-range.
  
  
• Stephen Herdsman, Crew (1):
  The game against Colorado was made for a fast defender like Herdsman. He frustrated Rapids forward Jeff Cunningham all afternoon long, because unlike most defenders Cunningham runs at, Herdsman can keep up if not out-run him (with a 4.4 40 time, Herdsman can outrun anyone this side of Asafa Powell). Herdsman was one of the key players in one of the better games for the Crew in recent memory.
  
  
• Cobi Jones, Galaxy (4):
  Seriously, did Cobi find the Fountain of Youth or something? He's playing some of the best soccer we have ever seen him play in his entire career. Jones was very active on the right, often finding time and space with the ball, played a terrific ball to Donovan that led to the lone goal of the match, made some great offensive runs, and played excellent defense when it was called upon. He's been rejuvenated this season, and he's just a fun player to watch.
  
  
• Chris Klein, Wizards (3):
  Klein was outstanding in a losing cause and may have had the best game for either side. He should have had a couple of assists, but poor finishing and Matt Reis’ head kept it from happening. Klein played several dangerous early balls behind New England's defense, set up Wolff perfectly three times, did a great job making runs when he was sixty yards off the ball (most people don't even think about this tactic; Klein and Burciaga treat it like a square pass), was active with and without the ball, and did we mention he also takes pretty good corner kicks?
  
  
• Brian Carroll, DC United (1):
  Carroll played his best game of the season last week. In a very open game, he was still able to find tackles and step up to win challenges early. He was flying all over the field, breaking up attacks and doing a great job of being an unintended primary outlet for Mark Lisi's passes. And in breaking news, his own passes actually found his teammates most of the time, and as often as not they led to great scoring chances (that were summarily shut down by Wells).
  
  
• Chris Henderson, Crew (1):
  Many may not have fully appreciated Henderson before (perhaps because Colorado, his former team, is rarely on national television), but by watching him send countless dangerous balls in to the penalty area this week, no one should wonder why he is among the league leaders in assists, both this year and all-time. He set up Cornell Glen so many times, it shouldn't have taken a PK to win the game for Columbus. His work-rate rivals that of Hejduk, and his crosses, cutbacks, energy and hustle are good quality stuff. Henderson's made a big difference since coming to Columbus from Colorado just a few weeks ago. Did the Crew deserve a win? Not sure, but Henderson sure did.
  
  
• Landon Donovan, Galaxy (3):
  We hate to quote the “evil soccer-hating empire” that is ESPN, but permit us to say that Donovan is en fuego. His goal was vintage Baby Jesus - surprise the defenders with a quick deep run, get in front of everybody, force the keeper to commit one way, put it past him the other way. He worked hard the entire game, making good defensive recovery runs and involving his teammates. Landon really has learned to become quite good at creating space for himself to get off a pass, shot, cross, or “creative” goal celebration. We don't think there's another player in MLS this year that changes the complexion of his team like Donovan does for the Galaxy.
  
  
• Nate Jaqua, Fire (3):
  Just weeks ago folks were talking about how horrible he looked, then all of the sudden he's a world-beater. His hustle up top and tenacious work off the ball has made more than a few people clean their spectacles to make sure it is actually him. The Fire dominated the second best team in the league in a very entertaining match, and Jaqua played a huge part in that. He just never stopped working - challenging for balls in the air, checking back to teammates to help maintain possession, making runs away from the ball, and oh yeah, scoring another goal. The Fire could not have maintained the amount of pressure and possession they had without Jaqua leading the charge up top. Is Jaqua coming into his own? Fire fans sure hope so.
  
  
• Pat Noonan, Revolution (4):
  Have you seen the face Noonan makes when he scores a goal? No? Well it's the same face he makes when he misses a shot, or takes a throw-in, or does an interview, or drives his car, or combs his white-man's afro. And just like his expression doesn't seem to change, he never seems to be running really fast or really slowly. But he gets in dangerous spots, dribbles as well as almost any player in MLS and knows when to take a dangerous shot. He was very active, especially considering his short week of preparation and was the only one of the cadre of Revolution national-team players to make any impact.

Plus One:

• The U-20s
  Some of them are already beginning to make an impact in MLS (hello Freddy, Eddie, Chad, Danny, Hunter, Will, and Tim). A few more should join them quite soon (come on down Marvell, Benny, Patrick, Nathan, and Lee). A few may stay overseas where their bad haircuts will find continue to find acceptance (that means you Quentin, Sammy, and Jonathan). Regardless of where these young players end up, they have played their hearts out for their country and have done what no other USA soccer team has ever done: outplayed, outworked, and (most importantly) outskilled both Argentina and Germany to the point where even non-partisan observers thought that the USA deserved to win both games. To paraphrase one of the most sharp and incisive soccer observations ever, mine eyes have seen the glory that is the future of US Soccer and MLS. But with only Egypt standing between them and the knockout round, let’s hope that MLS doesn’t see these players for at least a few more weeks.

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• This week's AAXI contributors are andrewt14, Casper, Chicago1871, fidlerre, Knave, Nutmeg, ur_land, and voros
• Header by Knave
• Plus One by ur_land.
• List compiled and edited by ur_land (with input from all the AAXI contributors).

 

Hey, now! I wasn't in charge of stacki ... I mean - uh - editing the list.

Someone dropped the ball here. Don't blame me.