Blog Entries

What the Numbers Say
8-13-9, 33 points; 32 goals for, 38 against

What I Remember
In direct terms, a team that looked totally hopeless until it didn’t. Darren Huckerby’s mid-season arrival from Ol’ Blighty provides the canned reason for this…and, well, the canned reason might not be far off. Why? Well, the defensive record – just 38 goals allowed – suggests the Earthquakes never took the field with “pushover” written across the backs of their jerseys, so they only needed...

What the Numbers Say
12-11-7, 43 points; 40 goals for, 43 against

What I Remember
Ah, the ex-wife. Yes, the New England Revolution is the team I once supported, but I discovered after a couple years that I can’t hold up my end of a long-distance relationship for sh%t (and phone-sex is for idiots, seriously). As with any relationship, sure, you remember the good times – the multiple trips to MLS Cup, even one where the New England was favored, but I’ll always most cherish the 2002 Cup for its “how-the-hell-did-that-happen?”...

What the Numbers Say
12-11-7, 43 points; 40 goals for, 41 against

What I Remember
Something quite a bit different than what happened, apparently, because in my memory, Chivas played sparkling soccer all season long with Sacha Kljestan guiding them as an artist slashes his brush over the canvas. He certainly played some influential stuff and scored some pretty ones last year….even if a couple came in ultimately losing efforts. The record says something else…and so do those numbers; below average on both counts, which...

What the Numbers Say
11-14-5, 38 points; 44goals for, 45 against

What I Remember
To begin, let’s pause to celebrate not having to start and end this thing by wondering about the eternally-serving Fernando Clavijo’s impact on the team. Unfortunately, the Colorado Rapids ended the first Clavijo-free season by missing the post-season for the second year running. “Inconsistent” is the word most often associated with the Rapids, but those little spikes in the results and performance have...

(You’d be surprised what you come up with when you type “average guy” into a Google search. That’s the #10 image (with moderate filtering), but the story behind it is pretty damn cool.)

What the Numbers Say
11-10-9, 42 points; 37goals for, 39 against

What I Remember
Personal confession: in spite of having plenty of players I admire – Jimmy Conrad (for whom I shed tears of joy when he got on the field against Italy – Italy! – in the 2006 World Cup), Jack Jewsbury, and, a personal favorite,...

What the Numbers Say
9-13-8, 35 points; 34 goals for, 43 against

What I Remember
Off the field, 2008 reads a whole lot like 2007: everyone got so wrapped up in the belief that Toronto FC would make the post-season they tried to will to happen. Look at that support, they said; wouldn’t it be wonderful if they made it!! Think of those BMO Field rocking through post-season!! Well, yes, it would be swell…it would be super, in fact, absent that whole mind-set feeling a little...

(Dagnabbit! That's twice now I've forgotten my sub-heads...this one was going to be something about Colin Clark.)

What the Numbers Say
8-10-12, 36 points; 45 goals for, 41 against

What I Remember
Going by memory alone, FC Dallas’ 2008 would be a year of relentless failure. Going strictly by averages – again that 42.2 average for goals scored and against…which I hope I calculated correctly – Dallas didn’t do horribly, as you can see above. There’s also some history...

OK, to explain the image…a prince becomes ____ on the death of his father?

What the Numbers Say
13-10-7, 46 points; 44 goals for, 33 against

What I Remember
With rooting sympathies leaning strongly toward the Columbus Crew, no team gave me the jitters like the Chicago Fire. Figured if anyone would derail the annus mirabilis, it’d be the Fire. They played solid defense all year and the offense – Chris Rolfe in particular – seemed to have found the gear just in time for...

What the Numbers Say
13-5-12, 51 points; 45 goals for, 32 against

What I Remember
The chief adjectival phrasing with which I associated the Houston Dynamo in 2008 was “one step past it.” Because I couldn’t find an image for that, I went with Grumpy Old Men…even though Houston isn’t grumpy; they seem very nice actually. Personal struggles with image aside, Houston did look just that little bit off last season, a little like one’s favorite...

What the Numbers Say
17-7-6, 57 points; 50 goals for, 36 goals against

What I Remember
Pretty simple for once: slice it how you like, the Columbus Crew came out best in 2008; think of them as the kid rocking those killer moon-boots on the top of the heap. They boasted the best record, won MLS Cup, and boasted goals for/against numbers above and below the league average of 42.2 where appropriate. Moreover, they typically came back when they went down –by my memory, the Crew had a habit, in fact, of giving...