Join Now
Paging Kevin Payne
Well wasn't that ugly?
For those of you who TIVO'd the Real Salt Lake vs. Columbus Crew last night, a warning:
STOP! For the love of God, don't try and watch this match. Don't even risk trying to erase it. I recommend that you yank the box out of the wall, go out back and burn it.
After Seattle and Houston showed everyone how exciting and memorable a 0-0 soccer game can be last Thursday, the Crew and the Royals offered a demonstration of how depressingly awful one can be.
(Yes, Real scored two minutes from time. The goal at the end didn't improve the previous 88 minutes. It's the principle. Or something. Work with me here.)
Anyway, here is the match, in it's entirety:
After 88 minutes of lock down defense behind an attack that consisted entirely of launching 70 yard bombs to Big Bird, when the key moment came Frankie Hejduk didn't do much to contest the cross, Eric Brunner didn't bother to stay with the best hitter on the field and William Hesmer committed the cardinal sin of giving up the near post.
The mystery of course is why, exactly, Crew Head Coach Robert Warzycha elected to start his so-called "Luchadores" front line while the best soccer player in the building and arguably in the league sat on the bench looking like he wished he could start a fire to keep warm, possibly using Warzycha as kindling.
What do you suppose he is saving the guy for? Yes he wisely gave Schelotto a lot of games off over the summer, in order to keep him healthy and fresh for the playoffs, with the understanding that when the playoffs actually came he would be out there pumping some life into your suddenly flatlining offense.
Yet there we were, and there he wasn't.
Well here's a bulletin, Bob: if your team, which has only scored one lousy goal in its' previous five league games (and that was a 45 yard fluky bouncer from the left back), doesn't score at least TWO goals on Thursday, your superstar Argie is going to have a lot of rest.
Roughly five months worth.
On the other side, Royals coach Jason Kreis' 65th minute insertion of Randers-bound Yura Movsisyan changed the complexion of the game and seemed to demand a response from Warzycha, but Schelotto and veteran forward Alejandro Moreno sat rooted to the bench.
Particularly over the last ten minutes, with RSL owning the ball and throwing numbers forward, what the Massive Bananas needed was someone to control the ball a bit, slow down the pace and kill some clock.
What Warzycha gave them was journeyman Jason Garey.
At that point the almost forgotten early season mantra of WWSD began to pop back into your head:
What would Sigi do?
Robbie Finley found himself smothered in yellow shirts for 88 minutes but still managed to look dangerous. His work rate and surprising toughness really ought to be enough to get him a runout with the National side.
The most disappointing thing about this game is that these two teams usually play a wide open, attacking, attractive brand of soccer with shots flying in from everywhere, and this match had the potential to be one of the more entertaining matchups of the playoffs.
Instead, it was a plodding hackfest from beginning to end as each team had just two shots on goal and 2 corner kicks apiece while combining for 26 fouls.
MLS should give Kevin Payne his money back.
For those of you who TIVO'd the Real Salt Lake vs. Columbus Crew last night, a warning:
STOP! For the love of God, don't try and watch this match. Don't even risk trying to erase it. I recommend that you yank the box out of the wall, go out back and burn it.
After Seattle and Houston showed everyone how exciting and memorable a 0-0 soccer game can be last Thursday, the Crew and the Royals offered a demonstration of how depressingly awful one can be.
(Yes, Real scored two minutes from time. The goal at the end didn't improve the previous 88 minutes. It's the principle. Or something. Work with me here.)
Anyway, here is the match, in it's entirety:
After 88 minutes of lock down defense behind an attack that consisted entirely of launching 70 yard bombs to Big Bird, when the key moment came Frankie Hejduk didn't do much to contest the cross, Eric Brunner didn't bother to stay with the best hitter on the field and William Hesmer committed the cardinal sin of giving up the near post.
The mystery of course is why, exactly, Crew Head Coach Robert Warzycha elected to start his so-called "Luchadores" front line while the best soccer player in the building and arguably in the league sat on the bench looking like he wished he could start a fire to keep warm, possibly using Warzycha as kindling.
What do you suppose he is saving the guy for? Yes he wisely gave Schelotto a lot of games off over the summer, in order to keep him healthy and fresh for the playoffs, with the understanding that when the playoffs actually came he would be out there pumping some life into your suddenly flatlining offense.
Yet there we were, and there he wasn't.
Well here's a bulletin, Bob: if your team, which has only scored one lousy goal in its' previous five league games (and that was a 45 yard fluky bouncer from the left back), doesn't score at least TWO goals on Thursday, your superstar Argie is going to have a lot of rest.
Roughly five months worth.
On the other side, Royals coach Jason Kreis' 65th minute insertion of Randers-bound Yura Movsisyan changed the complexion of the game and seemed to demand a response from Warzycha, but Schelotto and veteran forward Alejandro Moreno sat rooted to the bench.
Particularly over the last ten minutes, with RSL owning the ball and throwing numbers forward, what the Massive Bananas needed was someone to control the ball a bit, slow down the pace and kill some clock.
What Warzycha gave them was journeyman Jason Garey.
At that point the almost forgotten early season mantra of WWSD began to pop back into your head:
What would Sigi do?
Robbie Finley found himself smothered in yellow shirts for 88 minutes but still managed to look dangerous. His work rate and surprising toughness really ought to be enough to get him a runout with the National side.
The most disappointing thing about this game is that these two teams usually play a wide open, attacking, attractive brand of soccer with shots flying in from everywhere, and this match had the potential to be one of the more entertaining matchups of the playoffs.
Instead, it was a plodding hackfest from beginning to end as each team had just two shots on goal and 2 corner kicks apiece while combining for 26 fouls.
MLS should give Kevin Payne his money back.
Share
Post a Comment
Total Comments 22
Comments
-
Doesn't look like i missed much when i opted for Halloween with the kids over this yawnfest, let's hope the Galaxy/Chivas ''super classico'' turns out to be just that.Posted 01 Nov 2009 at 07:13 AM by CLEATS 
-
If i am Guille i am pissed as hell.... rightfully so... No one should be able to tell him that all those 11 on the field deserved his spot for all 90.....and right on about the "rest" issue....
HIs contract expires after next season correct? Robert needs to do a better job managing his star player....Posted 01 Nov 2009 at 07:53 AM by purojogo
-
It certainly didn't help matters that GBS didn't play. If you have a player of his skill and salary and a limited salary cap, shouldn't be surprised if the game isn't that pretty when he doesn't play.
Posted 01 Nov 2009 at 08:51 AM by Sandon Mibut
-
Bill, my good man, it's the frakkin' way these 2 leg playoffs are structured!
Instead of doing it like, Oh, UEFA and FIFA, by having away goals be the first tiebreaker (No, Tommy Smythe, away goals don't "count double", a hoary chestnut that probably causes some American fans to think it's some 3-card-monte scheme); or even the elegant simplicity of the FMF "Liguilla" (a "Little League" of a different sort), or having teams level on aggregate allow the higher seed to advance, MLS in it's wisdom insists of doing it it's own way.
Like the mind-numbing "system" to see who actually got into the playoffs, MLS eschewed the practice of FIFA, UEFA, half of European leagues, and likely leagues on all of the other continents, namely Goal Difference and Goals Scored (a tiebreaking procedure you can figure out just by reading the damn standings).
Back to Rio Tinto. If there is no incentive for the away team to come out of its turtle mode, that's exactly what we are going to get.
Look, I'm a Revs fan, but I hate to see what you're going to write after the Revs - Fire series.
Jogo bonito? I think not.
Posted 01 Nov 2009 at 10:19 AM by The Perfesser 
-
How can Jason Garey be a "journeyman" when he has only played for one team in his MLS career?
Posted 01 Nov 2009 at 11:38 AM by Der Stich
-
"Journeyman" refers to someone who is no longer an apprentice but has not attained the skills of a master craftsman.
Apparently you don't spend a lot of time around skilled tradesmen.Posted 01 Nov 2009 at 12:10 PM by Futsal Fred
-
Because "journeyman" has nothing to do with how many different teams you've played for. It has to do with being experienced without being a big star.Quote:Originally Posted by Der Stich
How can Jason Garey be a "journeyman" when he has only played for one team in his MLS career?Posted 01 Nov 2009 at 12:11 PM by Roger Allaway
-
I suppose Bill meant he has traveled to evert MLS city while riding the pine for Columbus? Maybe?Quote:Originally Posted by Der Stich
How can Jason Garey be a "journeyman" when he has only played for one team in his MLS career?
Posted 01 Nov 2009 at 12:15 PM by GVPATS77
-
Away goals good... Mexican Liguilla "regular season record"-tiebreaker good... Ecuadorean Seria A liguilla with the bonus points for higher regular season standing good....
RSL - Columbus bad.
Hopefully the return fixture is better.Posted 01 Nov 2009 at 01:25 PM by SankaCofie
-
Parody, duh
Posted 01 Nov 2009 at 01:39 PM by RichieZ16
|
Post a Comment
|
Total Trackbacks 0
