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Talking Heads: True Stories
Posted 24 Nov 2009 at 02:17 AM by Dan Loney
(Probably will do a longer bit of primal scream therapy later this week. In the meantime, here are some snippets from my unfinished screenplay, "Well, That Sucked.")
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Guy at Qwest: "Is this the final game for soccer?"
Me: "No, they'll play again next season."
Guy: *suddenly notices that his seat is in another section*
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*Javier Morales leaves the field in tears*
Me: "Oh, man. This isn't how I wanted us to win."
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RSL fans, after Beckham sent another corner kick directly to a crowd of red shirts: "Over-rated!"
Me, chanting back: "Yes, we noticed!"
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My wife, before Landon's kick: "At least Landon won't miss."
Me: "The last time he missed was in a tournament final, after extra time, in a penalty kick shootout."
Landon: *PK attempt flies out of Qwest and into orbit*
My wife: *beats me senseless*
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Next morning. Phone rings. Cell phone ID shows a number about four or five digits too long.
Me: "Hello?"
Guy on phone: "Hi, this is BBC radio. Are you a Galaxy fan? We're looking to talk to a Galaxy fan about how David Beckham turned around their season this year."
Me: "...yeah, you got the wrong guy."
___________
Guy at Qwest: "Is this the final game for soccer?"
Me: "No, they'll play again next season."
Guy: *suddenly notices that his seat is in another section*
_____________
*Javier Morales leaves the field in tears*
Me: "Oh, man. This isn't how I wanted us to win."
______________
RSL fans, after Beckham sent another corner kick directly to a crowd of red shirts: "Over-rated!"
Me, chanting back: "Yes, we noticed!"
______________
My wife, before Landon's kick: "At least Landon won't miss."
Me: "The last time he missed was in a tournament final, after extra time, in a penalty kick shootout."
Landon: *PK attempt flies out of Qwest and into orbit*
My wife: *beats me senseless*
______________
Next morning. Phone rings. Cell phone ID shows a number about four or five digits too long.
Me: "Hello?"
Guy on phone: "Hi, this is BBC radio. Are you a Galaxy fan? We're looking to talk to a Galaxy fan about how David Beckham turned around their season this year."
Me: "...yeah, you got the wrong guy."
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you're joking about that BBC thing??!?!?! that irony is so delicious you could heat it up and drizzle it on pancakes. but before I jump fully on board, I want to make sure it's true. I don't want to look like one of those idiots who doesn't get your jokes.
Each of those conversations actually happened, I swear. -D.Posted 24 Nov 2009 at 02:41 AM by Asprilla9 
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Sorry Danny.
On a related note; much like Baggio, if anyone was going to shank a pk, glad it was Donovan (ok ok it would have been better if it was Beckham). He got them there. Without Donovan the Gals are...San Jose. He's also the one person who will not be forever tainted by that miss.Posted 24 Nov 2009 at 02:43 AM by Main Man
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Too exhausted to think.Posted 24 Nov 2009 at 03:02 AM by Mike Gray
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Donovan's PK
Just before he shot, the RSL fans behind me were Googling his PK stats. They claimed he's missed two PKs in regular season games since being with Galaxy. They were already counting the goal for LAG... and then he Baggio'ed it.
I hate watching PKs decide a game. At least it didn't end on a miss. That is a horrible way to decide it. If we are going to endure PKs as a way to solve a tie, then might as well do it on a successful event instead of someone else's failure.Posted 24 Nov 2009 at 03:15 AM by ken0sha
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If Sacha Klejstan had beat Kevin Hartman to win it, I might be sympathetic, Dan, but even that would pale in comparison to Rodney Marsh beating Ian Turner in '78, so cry me a river.Posted 24 Nov 2009 at 03:35 AM by Mateofelipe
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What kind of beer did I win?Posted 24 Nov 2009 at 08:27 AM by Matrim55
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This post was delicious.Posted 24 Nov 2009 at 09:30 AM by santeroatomico
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I'm just glad you didn't have to use your daughter as a human shield.
Posted 24 Nov 2009 at 09:35 AM by DoctorD
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You totally should have done the radio interview.Posted 24 Nov 2009 at 09:51 AM by BigKris
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The first one out of those was the best. lolPosted 24 Nov 2009 at 11:09 AM by Nacional Tijuana 
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