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Award season in full swing
Posted 21 Oct 2009 at 01:05 PM by Dan Loney
Wait...didn't Rubin Kazan direct "On The Waterfront"?
And with that, I complete my UEFA Champions League commentary for the year 2009.
Meanwhile, Landon Donovan has won his sixth Honda Player of the Year award, given to the outstanding US national team player. (I nearly wrote "outstnading," which would have given unearthly delight to our friends who support Mexico.)
This is not the award given out by the USSF, seeing as how the lead story on ussoccer.com is the release of the U-17 World Cup roster. Landon will get a Chevy for that, I believe, and not a Honda. The Honda award is given by the press, while the USSF award is given by - well, us, partly:
Landon has only won the USSF award three times so far, which clearly means either the fans hate him, or the Fed is appalled by his Winehousian off-field shenanigans.
Why does the US soccer media participate in two separate awards? Well, there's an interesting story behind that. You see...no, just kidding, there can't in a billion years be an interesting story behind that. I assume the US soccer press just loves filling out forms.
Seriously, this question would take a grand total of ten minutes to get the answer to. And I genuinely pity anyone who cares.
Also, the USSF gives an award to women's national team players, too, which Honda doesn't. Because Honda doesn't think women should play soccer. BOO HONDA! YOU SUCK! I'm kidding, of course. It's not because women can't play soccer. It's because women can't drive.
KIDDING! I'm KIDDING! Hey, I ran that joke by my wife before I posted it, all right?
Yeah, she beat the living sh*t out of me.
Anyhoo. Landon's up for another prestigious award - the Riot Squad Player of the Year award. The voting for this is simple. Each member of the Riot Squad sends an e-mail with their choice in the subject line. The winner is the player who buys beer for the Riot Squad tailgate. Democracy in action!
I know what you're thinking. Yes, Beckham would win if he bought the Riot Squad beer. Sacha Freaking Kljestan would probably win if he bought the Riot Squad beer, or at least finish in the top three.
And with that, I complete my UEFA Champions League commentary for the year 2009.
Meanwhile, Landon Donovan has won his sixth Honda Player of the Year award, given to the outstanding US national team player. (I nearly wrote "outstnading," which would have given unearthly delight to our friends who support Mexico.)
This is not the award given out by the USSF, seeing as how the lead story on ussoccer.com is the release of the U-17 World Cup roster. Landon will get a Chevy for that, I believe, and not a Honda. The Honda award is given by the press, while the USSF award is given by - well, us, partly:
Quote:
The finalists for each award were nominated on the basis of: a) competing and excelling at the highest level (both at the national team and professional level) during the calendar year; b) exhibiting decorum on and off the field that reflects well on U.S. Soccer; and c) contributing toward the growth, development, credibility and popularization of soccer in the USA.
....
Online votes for the annual award will be tallied and equivalent to 50 percent of the total votes. As in years past, the other 50 percent will be represented by votes compiled from members of the national media and U.S. Soccer representatives (from national team coaches to the National Board of Directors).
....
Online votes for the annual award will be tallied and equivalent to 50 percent of the total votes. As in years past, the other 50 percent will be represented by votes compiled from members of the national media and U.S. Soccer representatives (from national team coaches to the National Board of Directors).
Why does the US soccer media participate in two separate awards? Well, there's an interesting story behind that. You see...no, just kidding, there can't in a billion years be an interesting story behind that. I assume the US soccer press just loves filling out forms.
Seriously, this question would take a grand total of ten minutes to get the answer to. And I genuinely pity anyone who cares.
Also, the USSF gives an award to women's national team players, too, which Honda doesn't. Because Honda doesn't think women should play soccer. BOO HONDA! YOU SUCK! I'm kidding, of course. It's not because women can't play soccer. It's because women can't drive.
KIDDING! I'm KIDDING! Hey, I ran that joke by my wife before I posted it, all right?
Yeah, she beat the living sh*t out of me.
Anyhoo. Landon's up for another prestigious award - the Riot Squad Player of the Year award. The voting for this is simple. Each member of the Riot Squad sends an e-mail with their choice in the subject line. The winner is the player who buys beer for the Riot Squad tailgate. Democracy in action!
I know what you're thinking. Yes, Beckham would win if he bought the Riot Squad beer. Sacha Freaking Kljestan would probably win if he bought the Riot Squad beer, or at least finish in the top three.
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Comments
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NAME: Beau Dure
AFFILIATION: USA TODAY
NEXT OF KIN: My wife, my kids, my dog, my dad, my stepmom
BLOOD TYPE: B+
ALMA MATER'S CONFERENCE: ACC
MOTHER'S MAIDEN NAME: Hammond
HAVE YOU BEEN CREDENTIALED TO A U.S. SOCCER GAME IN THE PAST YEAR: Yes
MLS: Yes
WPS: Yes
VYS U-6: Yes
** VOTE **
FIRST CHOICE: What was the question?Posted 21 Oct 2009 at 01:18 PM by Beau Dure 
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To say that joke skewed old doesn't really do that joke justice.Quote:Wait...didn't Rubin Kazan direct "On The Waterfront"?Posted 21 Oct 2009 at 01:25 PM by Aaron Stollar
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Beau, you left off your SSN.
Posted 21 Oct 2009 at 01:58 PM by IHateDC
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Wasn't Rubin Kazan the cranky yet lovable manager for The Partridge Family?Posted 21 Oct 2009 at 03:25 PM by Crimen y Castigo
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Rubin Kazan makes me think of Damani Ralph. What happened to him? Did that knee injury he had a couple of years ago end his career?
Posted 21 Oct 2009 at 03:36 PM by Clint Eastwood 
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Naw, he edited it out after the fact, but not before I helped myself to a couple of new credit cards. Covers the airfare for South Africa handily!Quote:Originally Posted by IHateDC
Beau, you left off your SSN.Posted 21 Oct 2009 at 04:28 PM by Ultra Peanut
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Pretty much.Quote:Originally Posted by Clint Eastwood
Rubin Kazan makes me think of Damani Ralph. What happened to him? Did that knee injury he had a couple of years ago end his career?
http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/sport...AVE_CAREER.aspPosted 22 Oct 2009 at 05:29 AM by Justin O
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Skewed old? Hell, I think Bob Hope would be complaining about Dan stealing his material.Quote:Originally Posted by Aaron Stollar
To say that joke skewed old doesn't really do that joke justice.
Posted 22 Oct 2009 at 10:15 PM by JSCram3254
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I thought it was Lanie Kazan...or did that skew too old too?
Posted 23 Oct 2009 at 01:23 PM by fireballil
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hehe, good article
Posted 23 Oct 2009 at 01:23 PM by 00Kevin
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