Join Now
Fernando Torres is just as dull as us
Posted 14 Sep 2009 at 11:53 AM by Ollie Irish
Tags fernando torres, liverpool
An extract from a Fernando Torres' new autobiography, 'El Nino', reveals just how strange and mundane the life of a foreign Premier League player can be…
Quote:
“One of the biggest problems I faced when I first moved to Liverpool was the language barrier. My English was limited to the classes I had taken at school in Fuenlabrada. You think you know a bit of English and that you can get by but when you actually arrive in England you soon realise that you haven’t really got a clue.
“I was told to be honest and say; ‘I didn’t catch that, could you say it again?’ but the truth is I didn’t always take that advice. I nearly always just mumbled a ‘no’. That’s what I did whenever I was in the supermarket and was asked if I wanted ‘cash back’. It’s not something we have in Spain and I had no idea what it was. It was three months before I knew what they were talking about.
“One afternoon, the way back from having lunch we decided to go shopping. I’d been told about Costco and so we decided to go in and have a look. As we were going through the door, the security guard stopped. We assumed he was asking for a member’s card that we didn’t have and so, not be able to explain in English, we just turned and left without a word. The next day I was told if you’re not a member you can’t shop there.
“Two people were vital during my first few days in the city: Rob and Alan, the English teachers Liverpool laid on for me. One of the things they used to make me do was ring people in response to adverts in the paper. You’d get on the phone and ask about a puppy for sale, or that kitten being advertised, or the price of a second-hand car.
“The idea was to get me used to speaking in English on the phone but at first the idea terrified me. So much so that I would panic when I didn’t understand something and find myself having to ring Pepe Reina.
“The car radio became my constant travelling companion. Every morning on my way to training at Melwood, I would listen and try to concentrate on what was being said. At first I only understood a few words but bit by bit I could feel myself improving. As I went past billboards I would try to translate them, too, and with every passing day I was getting better and better.
“Some nights, I even dared to pick up the phone and order food. When it turned up, it was nearly always what I wanted. When we were in hotels preparing for games I watched films in English with the subtitles on. The other thing I always carried with me was ‘English Training’ on my Nintendo DS - language games and exercises that helped me develop my English.
“I was terrified at the prospect of having to have a conversation on the phone. Imagine how much worse it is when that conversation is with the fire service! My smoke alarm kept going off in the house I was renting and one afternoon I got a call. I just about worked out that the man on the other end was from the local fire station but I didn’t understand anything else. A few minutes later a fire engine turned up at the house, packed with fireman thinking they were being called into action.
“They came three times in three days before they worked out that the smoke from cooking was causing the alarm to go off prematurely. The next time the alarm went off, they called me first to check whether they really did have to set off again.”
“I was told to be honest and say; ‘I didn’t catch that, could you say it again?’ but the truth is I didn’t always take that advice. I nearly always just mumbled a ‘no’. That’s what I did whenever I was in the supermarket and was asked if I wanted ‘cash back’. It’s not something we have in Spain and I had no idea what it was. It was three months before I knew what they were talking about.
“One afternoon, the way back from having lunch we decided to go shopping. I’d been told about Costco and so we decided to go in and have a look. As we were going through the door, the security guard stopped. We assumed he was asking for a member’s card that we didn’t have and so, not be able to explain in English, we just turned and left without a word. The next day I was told if you’re not a member you can’t shop there.
“Two people were vital during my first few days in the city: Rob and Alan, the English teachers Liverpool laid on for me. One of the things they used to make me do was ring people in response to adverts in the paper. You’d get on the phone and ask about a puppy for sale, or that kitten being advertised, or the price of a second-hand car.
“The idea was to get me used to speaking in English on the phone but at first the idea terrified me. So much so that I would panic when I didn’t understand something and find myself having to ring Pepe Reina.
“The car radio became my constant travelling companion. Every morning on my way to training at Melwood, I would listen and try to concentrate on what was being said. At first I only understood a few words but bit by bit I could feel myself improving. As I went past billboards I would try to translate them, too, and with every passing day I was getting better and better.
“Some nights, I even dared to pick up the phone and order food. When it turned up, it was nearly always what I wanted. When we were in hotels preparing for games I watched films in English with the subtitles on. The other thing I always carried with me was ‘English Training’ on my Nintendo DS - language games and exercises that helped me develop my English.
“I was terrified at the prospect of having to have a conversation on the phone. Imagine how much worse it is when that conversation is with the fire service! My smoke alarm kept going off in the house I was renting and one afternoon I got a call. I just about worked out that the man on the other end was from the local fire station but I didn’t understand anything else. A few minutes later a fire engine turned up at the house, packed with fireman thinking they were being called into action.
“They came three times in three days before they worked out that the smoke from cooking was causing the alarm to go off prematurely. The next time the alarm went off, they called me first to check whether they really did have to set off again.”
Torres appears to us as this golden hero, so the image of him calling some Scouse housewife to enquire, in fractured English, if Bobsy the kitten was still for sale, is incongruous, absurd and ultimately tragicomic.
Such is the lot of a foreign footballer who does not speak the local lingo. If it's easy to think that world-class players live like Vince in 'Entourage', the reality is rarely anything like as starry – from what I can tell, the only players who do live in such a celebrity bubble are David Beckham and Cristiano Ronaldo.
Another sizzling extract from 'El Nino' confirms how oddly ordinary he is:
Quote:
“At home, we spend time playing board games with friends and family. When it comes to Monopoly, Scattergory, or Hotel, there are real battles. For a change, we sometimes play cards, even though I’m not one for the typical footballer’s game like poker or the games played with a 40-card Spanish deck, like mus or pocha. But I do enjoy playing brisca and tute, Spanish games similar to trumps.
“Television is an alternative and I like to be up to date with what’s going on in the world, and not just the sports news. My favourite programmes are ‘The Dog Whisperer’ and ‘Super Nanny’."
“Television is an alternative and I like to be up to date with what’s going on in the world, and not just the sports news. My favourite programmes are ‘The Dog Whisperer’ and ‘Super Nanny’."
Share
Post a Comment
Total Comments 32
Comments
-
Thanks for this Ollie. It's actually refreshing to hear that someone making obscene amounts of money doesn't succomb to the lure of drugs, beautiful women and expensive hobbies. Perplexing, but refreshing.Posted 14 Sep 2009 at 12:24 PM by alexb746 
-
This guy sounds awesome. He doesn't seem like a premodonna.Posted 14 Sep 2009 at 12:28 PM by Socrates_81
-
What did you though?
Juz cuz he's Torres he learned english automatically? hehe...
well... that's too common, i don't usually make "heros" to my fav players, i had a cousin on lower divisions here on México, and i kno' how hard footballers life is, specially when you are starting on a no name tema, on a no name city, on a no name division and far of your family... and specially on latin american footballers, and on africans i wonder... but some guys when turn rich and famous, forget how they started. Like we say "se les suben los humos".
Greetings!Posted 14 Sep 2009 at 12:31 PM by diablo_regio05
-
Wait...you people actually believe he wrote this? So we are supposed to believe that a guy who couldn't order his own food 2 years ago is now throwing out phrases like:
"the car radio became my constant travelling companion"
Have you heard him talk in interviews? This was written by some low level editor at the publishing house in conjuction with his PR firm.Posted 14 Sep 2009 at 12:33 PM by texgator
-
Im sure he was excited when the fire truck packed with fireman came by.Posted 14 Sep 2009 at 12:43 PM by CrimsonChin00
-
Hi Ollie
You left us without even a goodbye.
We miss you buddy.
-WAATP FaithfulPosted 14 Sep 2009 at 12:45 PM by hollis
-
After 2 years of continuous language training and exposure, yes I believe he could write that. Maybe for him, it is easier to write with articulation than it is to speak.Posted 14 Sep 2009 at 12:46 PM by FijiUnited
-
Not to mention he could have just used a translator. Although the sentence about Liverpool "laying" English teachers on him was a little awkward (unless of course that's how they talk in England and I just don't know it).Quote:Originally Posted by FijiUnited
After 2 years of continuous language training and exposure, yes I believe he could write that. Maybe for him, it is easier to write with articulation than it is to speak.Posted 14 Sep 2009 at 12:58 PM by offside33
-
Did he address his resemblance to Ellen Degeneres in his book:
Posted 14 Sep 2009 at 12:58 PM by Sachin 
-
He learned cuz he need it, that acelerates the "process". Is not the same be on a school on Spain having 3 hours of english per week, than be listening and reading english all day, all the week, all the year.Quote:Originally Posted by texgator
Wait...you people actually believe he wrote this? So we are supposed to believe that a guy who couldn't order his own food 2 years ago is now throwing out phrases like:
"the car radio became my constant travelling companion"
Have you heard him talk in interviews? This was written by some low level editor at the publishing house in conjuction with his PR firm.
Posted 14 Sep 2009 at 01:03 PM by diablo_regio05
|
Post a Comment
|
Total Trackbacks 0
