NEWSFLASH: Wizards Announce New Mascot/Logo

[Topper]

KANSAS CITY: Wizards General Manager Curt Johnson, joined by Ticket Manager Dan Faggard, announced that they are dropping their old, tired logo, and adopting a timely, fresh logo reflecting their recent play.

"This is an exciting time for us; we are creating some very exciting moments for our opponents", explained GM Johnson. In fact, we have been outscored 15 goals to 2 in our last three games!"

"My sphincter is killing me," joked Ticket Manager Faggard.

GM Curtis continued, "Our new mascot reflects our wolf-bait hopelessness and our need for mercy."

"Thus, we unveil our new mascot: The Harp Seal."

"From now on, we shall no longer be known as the Rainbow Warriors, but rather, we shall be known as the Kansas City Harp Seals, reflecting the fact that we are literally being relentlessly clubbed to death by our opponents.... any opponents, MLS or otherwise."

The Wizards are best known for their championship 2000 fluke season, in which Bob Gansler employed an 11-men-in-the-box defense, that lulled opponents, television viewers, fans, irritable collicky infants, and the national media into a virtual coma. One season later, MLS disgarded 2 teams for lack of interest, and KC has been absolutely unremarkable, with the exception of their ability to tank, since 2000.

Following their most recent 4-0 clubbing on their home field by chronically mediocre Columbus, The Harp Seal pups take on the Los Angeles Galaxy on Wednesday, August 21 at the Rose Bowl for what is sure to be a first-degree bloody beating.

[burning247]

Ok enough is enough topper. Don't you have anything better to do? I mean don't get me wrong I don't like KC as much as the next guy, and they are stinking up the place, but it's just old now.

[Topper]

Originally posted by burning247
Ok enough is enough topper.

Translation: "Waaaaaah Booooo Hoooooo!!!"

[i]Originally posted by burning247
Don't you have anything better to do?

Yes - typing this: Blow Me.

Originally posted by burning247
I mean don't get me wrong I don't like KC as much as the next guy, and they are stinking up the place, but it's just old now.

Wrong. I posted it. Thus, it is refreshingly new and truly an entertainment bargain for only $2.50/month or, better yet, $0.00/month.

[Topper]

Originally posted by Mike Segroves


Shut up fagboy

After reading this, suddenly my response seems so... polite.

Topper

:D

[Eric B]

Originally posted by Topper
Wrong. I posted it. Thus, it is refreshingly new and truly an entertainment bargain for only $2.50/month or, better yet, $0.00/month.

I know I got my money's worth...

[Topper]

Originally posted by Eric B


I know I got my money's worth...

I miss your cool logo.

BTW, readers, the "Ticket Manager" at the KC Whizz, really is named Dan Faggard. His children hate him and are currently in therapy.

Topper

:D

[burning247]

Originally posted by Mike Segroves


Shut up fagboy

This coming from a loser, fat, Chicago fan.

[irishFS1921]

Originally posted by burning247


This coming from a loser, fat, Chicago fan.

holy shite someone sound the grammar horns. the fact that you bothered to use commas is even more of an insult to the use of correct english.

[burning247]

Originally posted by irishFS1921


holy shite someone sound the grammar horns. the fact that you bothered to use commas is even more of an insult to the use of correct english.

Would you like me to re-state that? Ok grammar queen...

This coming from a fat, loser, Chicago fan. See in the English language we use commas to seperate Adjectives (or describing words).

[HalaMadrid]

Originally posted by Mike Segroves
You're still queer and I can chug SlimFast if my massive physique ever become too much of a burden for your mother's spine to bear.Yeah, right...it's your massive physique Mother Burning is unable to bear...

[Lucid]

Ah, I see Retarded Boy and the Spelling Nazi's have struck again. Please... quit boring me? Thank you.

[irishFS1921]

Originally posted by burning247


Would you like me to re-state that? Ok grammar queen...

This coming from a fat, loser, Chicago fan. See in the English language we use commas to seperate Adjectives (or describing words).

it's called listing dear. in the future you might want to try something like "a fat, loser of a chicago fan"...etc. but hey what do i know? i'm not from texas

[NorthGoalGang]

Always remember: A person can always lose weight, but retardation is forever.

[profiled]

Originally posted by NorthGoalGang
Always remember: A person can always lose weight, but retardation is forever.

We feel your pain.

[Northside Rovers]

Originally posted by NorthGoalGang
Always remember: A person can always lose weight, but retardation is forever.

I don't know about that. I've seen recent improvement in Topper. I heard he doesn't have to eat with a bib anymore and now he's using small plastic spoons.

[NorthGoalGang]

Originally posted by profiled


We feel your pain.

Yeah, I'm hoping to drop those last 30 lbs. once I drop this albatross I call "The Revs".

Speaking of reaching goals: Have you stopped eating paste yet?

Tard Farming is like a box of chocolates: You never know what's going to be smeared on your pants at the end of the day.

[krolpolski]

Originally posted by Mike Segroves



He still has to have a cork on his fork.

And the eye patch, but I liked his report from K.C. What is the new color scheme? White with a big red splotch on the front of the jersey?

[Topper]

Originally posted by Mike Segroves



He still has to have a cork on his fork.

Topper: "What's the Soup of the Day?"

Waitress: "It's the Soup du Jour."

Topper: "That sounds dedlicious, I'll have that!"

[Topper]

Originally posted by Northside Rovers
I don't know about that. I've seen recent improvement in Topper.

So much for kind words from a fellow Celtic fan.

But then again, you're a Burn fan too, which shows you're quite content with year-after-year of lukewarm mediocrity.

Originally posted by Northside Rovers
I heard he doesn't have to eat with a bib anymore and now he's using small plastic spoons.

This clearly lacks imagination. People, when you try to imagine how stupid Northside Rovers is, think of the stupidest person you know. Then double it.

Topper

[Topper]

Galaxy 2 : Wizards 1.

The Galaxy should have scored 8 goals, but Fat Tony kept the KC Harp Seals respectable.

We'll be victimizing the PoofQuakes soon enough.....

Topper

:D