AR Frustration

[CDM76]

As part of the local referee pool I was invited to help out with a tournament in a neighboring community.

I accepted the assignment and discovered I was teamed with a very inexperienced couple of referees. We only met at the field a few moments before our first match.

We rotated through refereeing and ARing 3 consecutive matches.

During the second match, the referee regularly ignored my calls. I had a couple of bang-bang deflections on the touch where I was in perfect position. He never saw the deflections and signalled incorrectly.

Had a charge into the middle of the back that took a player down about 2 yards off touch directly in front of me.

When I asked him about the calls, he said that he hadn't really seen the balls out of play and he had waved off the foul because the team that was fouled was winning the match.

I had the next match as referee so I didn't really want to get into it.

Any suggestions/ideas on how to handle these types of situations? I really felt like a fool on the sideline and wanted to stop calling the match.

[nsa]

...
I had the next match as referee so I didn't really want to get into it.

Any suggestions/ideas on how to handle these types of situations? I really felt like a fool on the sideline and wanted to stop calling the match.

1. You handled it the right way. The AR provides information to the referee. If the ref chooses to ignore it, so be it.

2. As frustrating as it may be, don't quit.


There may be many reasons why this particular referee appeared to ignore you. Some refs are used to working solo, so they do not know how to use the AR. Some refs are arrogant pricks who know everything.

Hopefully this is not the norm for your area. Speak with the assignor or other referees to get a better read on things. Keep your head up and keep working hard.

[Wreave]

It's common when you're the AR to have a CR who doesn't respect your calls the way you would like. It's also common to feel like you should just quit when the CR isn't taking your input.

You know this already, but whether the CR is taking your input or not, until he tells you different, just do your job. Signal the ball out of play and the direction. If he goes the other way, drop your flag. If you signal a foul and he waves you off, drop your flag. If he's calling a foul one way and you thought it was the other way, get his attention if you can.

When you have the whistle, it's your game. When you have the flags, it's not. But you know this.

If the referee is making an egregious error that could change the outcome of the game, such as awarding a penalty when you clearly saw that the attacker dove, then make an effort to get it changed. Take a couple steps onto the field, wave the ref over if you can. But ultimately, if he doesn't want your input then it's your job to head to the corner and see if the keeper steps off the line. Whether or not the CR does his job well shouldn't affect whether or not you do yours.

Again - you know this already. It's hard to bite your tongue and keep dropping your flag, but when you go home after the game, you'll know you did your job.

[ref47]

there are many more games in my area than referees to cover them. this does not allow or encourage the development of skills by referees. the ref can work pretty much as much as he/she likes and there is little accoutability. it comes down to personal incentive to improve. when you try to assist that improvement you need to walk a fine line between assistence and appearing to be overbearing/pushy. manys the time i have explained a law or the ussf ruling on how something should be done and had the ref totally disagree with what i had said. it can be frustrating.

teaching/mentoring is a skill that we have varrying ability to perform. improve that skill and you will reach more refs in helping them improve. good luck.

[Wreave]

I'll add one personal scenario that I use as an example when teaching. I was the AR to a referee that was just not as well-trained or as experienced as I was. He was often not in the best position to make calls, and I saw a few misses.

One particularly bothered me. The attacking team had shot the ball into the goal. An attacker was in an offside position, but from my view was out of the play. The CR was roughly behind the play, at the top of the penalty arc, with many players in the area. From my angle on the side, I had a clearer view. It was a good goal. However, the ref blew the whistle for offside, and began setting up the IFK out.

He had not looked at me (I hadn't signaled an offside), so I jogged a few steps onto the field, in hopes of getting his attention to tell him I thought the offside-positioned player was uninvolved. He looked over, saw me coming, then looked back to the players and continued setting up the IFK.

I turned and went back to my line. He had gotten the message - that I disagree with the offside call. Likewise, I had gotten the message - that he had made the call, and was sticking with it. No goal.

I thought he was wrong then, and still do. However, my continuing onto the field wouldn't favorably change the outcome. Coaches, players or parents might perceive a disagreement on the call, and we might have trouble controlling the rest of the game. It was his game and his call, and I did my job - I went back to the touch line and went on with the game. Sometimes, that's just what you have to do.

[campton]

Its bound to happen almost everywhere. Just gotta put up with it.

[Doug the Ref]

One of the reasons to go to a different area or tournament is to go through the challenges of working with different teams, different officials, different fields, etc. We are continually challenged by different inputs during a game. This sounds like a good learning experience--all be it, one that you probably do not want to repeat, but a learning experience nonetheless. Congratulations! :)

[Rufusabc]

And you wonder why we hae difficult jobs controlling players and coaches. These stories are always tough for me to read about. But there are some folks plying the trade who are not up to the task. It is not an easy game to referee, and when as a player or a coach you end up with someone who is not capable, it is really tough to swallow.

I always remember a game I was coaching where the AR was very capable and we scored the winning goal only to have it called back by the CR for an offside decision. He couldn't have seen it from his angle, and when I asked the AR a few minutes later he said the right thing. "He got it right, I missed it." I knew from his tone he hadn't but he didnt sell the center up the river. I think that's a big lesson learned, don't sell the guy out. If he isnt capable, there are other avenues, just don't crush the guy while there's still time on the clock.

Rog

[gosellit]

As part of the local referee pool I was invited to help out with a tournament in a neighboring community.

I accepted the assignment and discovered I was teamed with a very inexperienced couple of referees. We only met at the field a few moments before our first match.

We rotated through refereeing and ARing 3 consecutive matches.

During the second match, the referee regularly ignored my calls. I had a couple of bang-bang deflections on the touch where I was in perfect position. He never saw the deflections and signalled incorrectly.

Had a charge into the middle of the back that took a player down about 2 yards off touch directly in front of me.

When I asked him about the calls, he said that he hadn't really seen the balls out of play and he had waved off the foul because the team that was fouled was winning the match.

I had the next match as referee so I didn't really want to get into it.

Any suggestions/ideas on how to handle these types of situations? I really felt like a fool on the sideline and wanted to stop calling the match.

Was there any type of Pre-Game? If so, was any of this covered?

[DWickham]

The hardest thing to do, in that moment, is to let it go. Frankly, it is very likely that the referee will continue to ignore any assistance and act like a lone wolf. It is easy to get angry. I learned from the first time this happened to me. I had gotten so worked up, that I was seething. I couldn't even speak to the referee after the match. But, while I was angry I couldn't do any part of my job. I was so busy thinking about the idiot in the center that I couldn't keep my focus on the match.

What I learned is that even when the referee is an idiot, the players still deserve my best an an assistant referee. I can't give them my best unless I am calm and focussed. So long as I hustle and signal properly, I've done my job even if the refeee doesn't accept any assistance.

[constructor]

To echo what's been said earlier, when I have a CR like that, I still do my best from the touch.

I've been in a similar situation on a U18 mens match with a CR who wouldn't let his ARs call any fouls. We were simply ignored. About 5 minutes into the second half, one of the defenders balled up a fist and clocked one of the attackers, all this transpired within 15yds of where I was positioned. I saw it clearly, the CR didn't, I flagged it. When the CR stopped play, he came over and asked what I was wagging the flag for. I told him who struck who and was dumbfounded when the CR asked me what should be done about it. I mentioned that it was a textbook VC call. He then asked what I thought he should do about it. I mentioned that the last I checked, VC called for a red card. He nodded, went over to the offender and gave him a yellow for UB. The players from both sides knew what had happened from the start and were expecting a send off. Needless to say, that match quickly spiraled out of control of the CR. Time slowed to a crawl and I was looking for nothing more than the last whistle and a quick exit.

Mention was made of pregame. A smart CR will let his ARs call fouls, but in pregame, make sure everybody is on the same page as to what level the bar is set at. When I have a CR that starts his pregame with saying offside is yours, all fouls are mine, I know it's going to be a verrry long match. Fortunately, I've only been stuck with somebody like that twice. Both times the match nearly got out of control. Once the CR even shouted at me (in an angry tone) from the pitch to help him out and call fouls (totally against what he said in pregame). So as CR, make sure in pregame you're clear with your ARs on how you plan to call the match. As ARs, ask the CR if he isn't clear about anything. A pregame is there to make sure the ref team is going to function as a team and do the best job possible. In tournament situations where the crew stays together on one pitch, by the second or third match, everybody should be working together almost by telepathy.

One other comment, as a CR, I've had ARs who were new (or lazy) who didn't do much to help out with match control or doing their jobs properly. If the AR is a noob, I'll help with some pointers on how to properly execute the mechanics and what to look for. If the AR is just lazy, there will be some private words with the assignor later in the day. One final point, when you step onto the pitch in any official capacity, you owe the game and the players to do your dead level best.

[campton]

And you wonder why we hae difficult jobs controlling players and coaches. These stories are always tough for me to read about. But there are some folks plying the trade who are not up to the task. It is not an easy game to referee, and when as a player or a coach you end up with someone who is not capable, it is really tough to swallow.

I always remember a game I was coaching where the AR was very capable and we scored the winning goal only to have it called back by the CR for an offside decision. He couldn't have seen it from his angle, and when I asked the AR a few minutes later he said the right thing. "He got it right, I missed it." I knew from his tone he hadn't but he didnt sell the center up the river. I think that's a big lesson learned, don't sell the guy out. If he isnt capable, there are other avenues, just don't crush the guy while there's still time on the clock.

Rog

You explain my motivation to try hard in u-11 games when noone else is. I HATED having referees who didnt care or didnt know their stuff. IMO at the very low youth levels dissent only happens if you dont know the ROTC or LOTG.


Hang in there, it seems like you learned alot with coping with overbearing/know it all centers.

[nsa]

... I turned and went back to my line. He had gotten the message - that I disagree with the offside call. Likewise, I had gotten the message - that he had made the call, and was sticking with it. No goal. ...

Beautiful.

Assist, but not insist.

[jkc313]

This has happened to all of us. The only thing I have to add is don't do something he tells you to if it's wrong. I had one center tell me I wasn't calling offside enough and to call more. He was an idiot and was catching hell from parents due to my accurate calling and not calling of offside. Also have had numerous centers tell me over the years to call something within the first 10 minutes to let the teams know we were watching even if there's nothing to call. Takes all kinds. Just do your job and in the future try to put together your own referee team for tournaments. Assignors love it when they can take a field and just give it to a team

[njref]

*** IMO at the very low youth levels dissent only happens if you dont know the ROTC or LOTG.***

Actually, you will get dissent at low level games from all kinds of idiots, whether you know the game or not, especially if you are a younger referee. Your implication that the referee is at fault for dissent in these games is silly. If anything, dissent is more likely to be informed at higher level games, where the spectators and coaches are more likely to have some idea of what is going on. At low level games, most of the people outside the referee are completely clueless.

[IASocFan]

In my experience, at ANY level dissent only happens if they don't LIKE with your call!

[Tarheel Ref]

My theory is that anytime I blow the whistle for a foul, about 60% of the people are going to be unhappy...those the call went against as well as those who want to argue for/against the advantage situation!

[bluedevils]

This season, the handful of U9 and U11 games I did included as much dissent from the fans as any other games I did all year -- and most of my games are adult.

[SamGamgee]

About 3 yrs ago I was AR2 for a experienced adult CR on a U15B game. I started to realize about 1/2 way through the first half that he was ignoring all of my signals. With 5 minutes left in the first half a parent commented to me that it appeared that the CR was not paying attention to any of the AR's signals. None of this was covered in the pre-game.
When the second half started, & I know this is wrong, I decided not to flag any signals, except when the CR looked to me for one. Only twice did he do so for the remainder of the game. Post game AR1 decried the CR's dictatorship and vowed never to work w/ him again.
Throughout the ensuing years I have seen this CR, who has not changed and received the same feedback from his ARs concerning his dictatorial style.
My advice, as has been stated here, do your job, learn what you can, ignore the bad and become a better ref.

[Tarheel Ref]

This season, the handful of U9 and U11 games I did included as much dissent from the fans as any other games I did all year -- and most of my games are adult.

I' worked some U10 7v7 matches this past season and tend to see much more dissent from parents than coaches and little or none from the players. On only a few occasions is it informed dissent arguing a valid point, whereas most times its just parents trying to gain an edge for their own kid or team with no regard for the match situation itself.

I definitely agree that the U10-15 age groups have more parents causing problems than coaches or players...problems being uninformed dissent/personal attacks which I can ignore but I hate to see the players picking up and emulating that behavior...as they emulate behavior they see on TV from professional matches.