Handwriting expert needed?

[lesliemoss]

There's an official West Ham Xmas card on the Hammers website, and there are signatures of all 34 members of the squad (including AC);
Only about 5 or 6 signatures are actually legible, and all of them are terrible! I wonder how a handwriting expert would analyse them.
Any comments?

[norwaytips]

Not bad for footballers, I thought. You have to remember that most of them, and I am being serious, are at best semi literate.