Best review of Gigli

[carolinab]

Gigli Focus Groups Demand New Ending In Which Both Affleck and Lopez Die (http://www.theonion.com/onion3929/gigli_focus_groups.html)

My favorite part:

According to the exit cards, other popular methods of achieving Lopez and Affleck's on-screen demise included car bombs, multiple stab wounds, acid baths, rabid wolf attacks, lightning strikes, and, in one case, a "hammer party."

[Dolemite]

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/Gigli-1124237/



ouch

[Fireball_Dan]

I'm reminded of SNL's parody of Ben and Jen.

[obie]

This is the sort of movie that critics love to write about since they can break out all of their best material. Examples:

"Such an utter wreck of a movie you expect to see it lying on its side somewhere in rural Pennsylvania, with a small gang of engineers circling and a wisp of smoke rising from the caboose." (Newark Star-Ledger)

"A recent episode of South Park suggested that a fourth-grader's hand puppet could turn in a better performance than Ms. Lopez, and in the case of Gigli, it's hard to argue." (New Times)

"It is an exquisitely bad movie: One to be savoured, marvelled over, shared with friends and generally appreciated in a state of awestruck wonder. Gourmet fromage." (Toronto Star)

[DoyleG]

Even the 'blurb meisters" can't do anything about this movie.

[goalsaurus]

Originally posted by DoyleG
Even the 'blurb meisters" can't do anything about this movie.


Yep, even if they go at it with their scissors, all they'll come up with is "It's a movie."
And that'll still be overstating the case.

[Doctor Stamen]

I've read the first link, and it did make me giggle. I wonder if it's on a par with that Guy Ritchie/Madonna one with the boat and Latino guys.

[peledre]

I think "It's Turkey Time...Gobble Gobble" was one for the ages. Besides, it's a damn beaver not a turkey.

[skipshady]

Originally posted by obie
"A recent episode of South Park suggested that a fourth-grader's hand puppet could turn in a better performance than Ms. Lopez, and in the case of Gigli, it's hard to argue." (New Times)Sweet.

My other favorite critique:
"I am giving "Gigli" one star and that is only because of Walken: if Brest were smart, when the film hits DVD, he should only release that scene and stick the rest in the deleted scenes section."
-- PETER SOBCZYNSKI

[joshdcu]

I found this one funny:

"A rigli, rigli bad movie" -Bruce Newman, San Jose Mercury News.

[obie]

Wait, there's more!

http://abcnews.go.com/sections/entertainment/Relationships/gigli030801.html

"This is not just ordinary bad in a Bad Boys II sort of way, but a hypnotic, black hole of a movie that sucks reputations, careers and goodwill down its vortex." (Toronto Globe And Mail)

"So god-awfuly, soul-destroyingly bad it manages to offend lesbians, the mentally challenged and straight people in a single bound, not to mention the entire acting profession." (Eye Weekly)

"The worst movie … of our admittedly young century. More stupefying follies may come, but it's impossible to imagine how they'll beat this one for staggering idiocy, fatuousness or pretension." (Wall Street Journal)

My only question is: Why'd they pre-screen this dreck for critics? Were they trying to get the worst possible buzz out of it before it opened?

[TheSlipperyOne]

Originally posted by Doctor Stamen
I wonder if it's on a par with that Guy Ritchie/Madonna one with the boat and Latino guys.

Actually Peter Travers of Rolling Stone said only two people will like "Gigli". Guy Ritchie and Madonna because it will make the rest of the world forget how terrible "Swept Away" was.

[Footix]

Originally posted by obie


My only question is: Why'd they pre-screen this dreck for critics? Were they trying to get the worst possible buzz out of it before it opened?

They were forced to screen it by Ben & Jen, who apparently thought the early bad buzz was just sour grapes started by enemy studios.

There were a few bigshot critics openly laughing at the screening I saw last month, one of whom confided to his captive audience in the elevator down to the street, "Oh fu** that was a giant piece of crap!".

[spejic]

I just found out this movie cost $54 million to make. What in the world cost so much?

[peledre]

Originally posted by spejic
I just found out this movie cost $54 million to make. What in the world cost so much?
Foundation for J.Lo's ass. And Affleck's wig.

[Doctor Stamen]

Not to mention the separate 4 acre dressing room for J-Lo's ego, complete with 300 strong entourage, Moet champagne for all of them, Evian (and it must be Evian) mineral water, the finest flowers money can buy, a lamp made out of a unicorn's horn, and a magic pixie.

All these are rather costly.

[Doctor Stamen]

According to this gossip column, their relationship has taken a hammering as well. Scroll about 1/2 way down.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/

[TheSlipperyOne]

Originally posted by Doctor Stamen
According to this gossip column, their relationship has taken a hammering as well. Scroll about 1/2 way down.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/

Good. Maybe they will break it off and Affleck can get back to making quality films again like
"Changing Lanes", "Pearl Harbor", "Bounce", "Forces of Nature", "Reindeer Games" and "Phantoms".

[odg78]

"Affleck, you the bomb in Phantoms. Yo! "

[Doctor Stamen]

So who's going to see it for a laugh then ?.