Parent Questionare Idea

[Kevin8833]

Hi, over the summer I am taking a few of the kids I coached in recreational league last season and some other players and going competitive, I am inviting a lot of players to tryouts to keep my options open so I can pick players by not only talent and such but attitude and attitude of the parents, I thought a good way to do this could be to hand all players' parents a questionare consisting of about 20 questions to get an idea of their attitudes and what may or may not be a problem, without them even realizing it I believe this could seperate the good parents from the bad, at least I hope and it is a new idea I came up with and thought maybe it could work and sure couldn't hurt to try it, this also will test some commitment as well, first do you think this would be a good idea and good thing to try, and secondly if you do think this is a good idea what are some questions you would recommend?
Some questions I already have are what do you think makes a succesful player, what makes a succesful team, when is a parent crossing the line, how often outside of his former teams does your kid play soccer(backyard with family or by himself, with friends, etc). Any advice positive or negative would be appreciated. Thanks. Kevin.

[Crimson Ace]

...and sure couldn't hurt to try it...I appreciate your enthusiasm, but the above statement is your first big mistake. Your questionnaire is a great idea... but only after you've selected your team.

Any advice positive or negative would be appreciated. Thanks. Kevin.My advice would be to hold your tryout. Choose the best roster of kids based on their ability, work ethic, needs, etc. Choosing a team based on the parents is a huge mistake. Pick your kids... teach your kids... deal with the parents. That's why you're the coach. Dealing with parents comes with the job.

Once you've chosen your roster, hold two meetings. The first meeting is for parents and players. You can learn a lot during introductions. Discuss your general views, expectations, etc. Make it light and fun. Discuss nothing that resembles business. Everyone should leave feeling all warm and fuzzy... but informed. This is when you can unleash your questionnaire.

Your 2nd meeting is for parents only. Get all business on the floor, discussed, and handled. Include discussions on tournaments, training, expectations, your stipend, league play, uniforms, gear, fundraisers, travel, etc. Make sure to discuss your system of discipline for players and/or parents who fall out of line. Assign titles and jobs (manager, treasurer, hotel booking, meals, call line, etc.). Don't leave without everyone (including you) having a very clear understanding of your new team and how it will progress from day one to your final day.

Remember... this is free advice and you get what you pay for. Best of luck.

[uniteo]

I think you probably already know who will present a challenge/problem. You need to be sure they understand what YOU consider to be the goals of the team and players and what YOU think of as a successful year, because that's the goals to which you will coach them. That way families looking for something else can find the right team.

[Bird1812]

I think it's an interesting idea. As the saying goes "a few bad apples can spoil the bunch". I don't see anything wrong with trying to determine who the bad apples are ahead of time.

The key to a successful team is having everyone on the same page. Most experienced coaches accomplish this task by being upfront about policies and goals for the team and always keeping the lines of communication open. They also are very consistent about applying the rules and policies to all members of the team without being overly rigid. Having said that, even the most experienced coaches still run into the nightmare parent more then they would like. You seem to have decided to try to determine if the parents will be able to buy into your goals and policies for your team. Perhaps you should consider what exactly your goals and policies are for the team and then gear your questions accordingly.

For example, what will your playing time policy be? If you only intend to play players who you feel earned playing time, this is undoubtedly going to cause some issues for those parents who may find their child on the bench. Or if you intend to play everyone equally, this is going to cause some issues for those who think you should only play those who have earned the right to play. Or (and this would be my choice) you intend to play kids based on their need to play in order to develop will parents be patient and allow you to do your job and see all the players get quality playing time regardless of the game results.

[socfan60]

Good idea in theory bu most parents will see what you are up to and give you the answrs they think you want to hear. No one is going to write "he never touches the ball outside of practice" on a Q at tryouts, not to mention tell you what they REALLY feel is the appropriate role of parents.

You should outline your general philosphy at tryouts, especially if you are a new program. You do not want a bunch of players/parents surprised by your approach after they have already committed to your team.

I think Crimson Ace has the right idea. I take it one step further and have a contract I have parents sign at that second meeting (I have a player contract too but that is a different thread) which outlines expectations from sideline behavior to getting kids to practice on time. It is nice to have a document to fall back on if there is any question in the future.
The key is-the specific rules dont matter- as long as everyone knows what they are getting into ahead of time and agrees to it. If you want to say "This year at U4 we are all about winning, only the best play and mistakes will be punished by removal from the game and sprints" so be it. Personnally I would RUN- not walk to the door but as long as those that signed up knew what they were getting into, so be it.

[ranova]

I agree. In a tryout situation, it would be a rare parent that supplied answers based on anything other than what he thinks you want to hear.

[Val1]

Just to echo, I wouldn't "quiz" the parents as such. Yes, you need dedicated, supportive parents, but I think co-opting the parents with what you want is better than finding out what they want.

So, my basic rule for making parents happy is to make sure everyone plays a lot. On a travel team that is not necessarily everyone 50-50, but more like 40-60. Make sure everyone gets a couple of chances to start and make sure everyone gets a chance to end the game on the field (I think being on the field when the whistle blows is a better feeling than starting). Everyone should get into both halves (nothing like sitting on a bench for an entire half to depress Johnny and get his parents boiling). Make sure everyone plays a couple of positions, so that your weaker players (who you're trying to find a position for) won't feel ostracized. Make sure your positive comments outnumber your negative comments by like a 3-1 or 4-1 margin, and make sure you give both positives and negatives to both your stars and your scrubs. Make sure you challenge all the kids on the team: encouragement is great, but coming up with moments where you can step in and challenge the player to do better, is something your parents will love.

On our rec league fields, the U10s and U11s are still so crowded that I have parents on the players sidelines all the time, and I found this year that I spent half the game or so talking to parents. Your parents still may not know the game too well, so you have to educate them about what their kids are doing well. Pick a couple of players each game and afterwards, call their parents and just rave about the player. I'm telling you as a parent, we love to hear unsolicited ravings about our kids

Those are just my guidelines for turning parents into start raving fans of you, regardless of your kids' skill levels and your win-loss record. You do these sorts of things, and if you love the kids like it sounds you do, you've got other things you do to show your enthusiasm, and this will be much better than a parents questionnaire.

[Kevin8833]

Yes after sitting down and thinking about it I came up with the same thing, turning the questions into more of a contract of what I expect and what they can expect over the course of the season, my fear is that one bad parent can do some serious damage but hopefully a handout like this will either fix that or scare them away, I love the kids to death and that is my biggest reason why I have fallen in love with coaching but parents are just ridiculous I really hope this can be a solution or at least helpful, one kid on my recreational team last year would beg for me to play him on the opposite side of the parents so he wouldn't be criticised constantly and instructed against things we tell him, but that may be partially my fault because I never handed anything out or went over strict rules, it was my first year coaching rec. and I found out early you have to lay the rules down right away, so this year I am going to.

[Crimson Ace]

You know Kev, there will always be parents that ruin teams. It's an unfortunate side effect of coaching any youth sport in the US. However,it's how you manage those parents that will ultimately preserve your sanity.

One season for me - with an exceptionally unruly group of parents - I started a "Negative Bucket." We bought a medium-sized metal bucket and and had the kids "decorate" the bucket by writing things they didn't like to hear (ex: Boot It, Hustle, You're not trying, etc.). Every time a parent was caught saying anything negative on the sideline, they had to put money in the bucket. One simple rule I gave the parents... you're not allowed to say anything on the sideline that you can't find on a classroom sticker... good job, way to go, well done, etc. The parents had a blast with it. We saved the money and used it for one hell of an end-of-season party!

[Untroubled by Reason]

Regarding the questionnaire, if you ask, "Do you expect your son/daughter to get a full soccer scholarship at an NCAA Division 1 school?" and the parent answers "Yes," cut that player immediately. And I mean right away, before the ink's dry on the questionnaire... Trust me, there's no point in suffering the headaches you're going to have to endure for whatever talent that child brings to the team. ;)

Of course, I am writing sarcastically, but a questionnaire might help you understand parent attitudes and expectations, and give you an important opportunity to both learn from them and manage their expectations.

Good luck!

[AABestor]

I think it's a good idea I do it with the parents about once a year as well as with the kids. keep it under the 10 question mark otherwise I think you might run into some problems. they will be pretty honest in their answers as long as you make your auestions general. Such as, what do you see your child getting out of soccer. no questions specificly about their child.

[robo55slc]

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