Mr. Warmth
02 Jul 2007, 08:44 AM
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Was that too harsh? The Dutch Bastard? Even though Guus Hiddink has been gone from Korea for the better part of 5 years, it's pretty evident the impact he had on their development system. You could have put orange jerseys on those kids and the only way you could have told them from the Dutch were their Shoyu Weenie mullets.
Tom, I thought you Dutch guys, especially the one's from Ajax were supposed to be real big on attacking soccer and whatnot? Apparently, you've spent too much time in the US coaching club or you tried to create a team with 4 d-mids and 4 defenders by spiking their water with stolen DNA from Richie Williams, Chris Armas, Jeff Agoos and Celo Balboa?
And how did you manage to hide Altidore and Adu in plain open sight like that? The rest of their team couldn't even find them. If only you had been around in the 40's, Anne Freakin' Frank would still be alive. Be sure to get the Romulans cloaking device back before dinner. Who did they leave in charge of it? Sub-Commander Carrot Top? God knows it couldn't have been some pointy-eared honey that Spock had to seduce.
Seriously, how is it that you continually get hired for this gig? Do you and Sigi the Hutt just swap off when you're between MLS coaching gigs? Does that mean Dave Sarachan and the soon to be canned Fernando Clavijo will get a shot at it in a few weeks when this squad you lumped together flames out? Or is it that no one else wants it? Maybe if you get canned, they'll pull all the youth teams under Piotr Nowak and let him kick people in the ass until they learn how to pass to people in the same colored jerseys.
But enough about your stupidity, the game between Korea Republic and the US finished 1-1, and when you read that Danny Szetela was the lone goalscorer for the US, you know it was a garbage game. Full credit to Danny though, it was a well finished header and put him at 1B to goalkeeper Chris Seitz's 1A performance for Man of the Match. Most of the US fans are going to cry about the El Salvadoran ref, who was abysmal, biased, horrible, stupid & did I mention abysmal, but the sad fact is that the US were played off of the field last night and were lucky to get a point out of the game. The Koreans had to feel like a tank just ran over their sister or something after a game where their finishing made Real Salt Lake look like the 1998 Galaxy. Hopefully the Poles will be still recovering from the hookers and blow than their fans hopefully showered on them for beating Brazil while a man down for most of the game, because, if they're on, we might as well not even show up for the Brazil game.
MLS Week 13 - Soccer Riot - Houston Style
Dynamo Houston 0 - 0 FC Dallas - Copa del Popgun - Round 2
Nothing really worth noting in this one other than Houston couldn't score on a makeshift Dallas back line and a few of the Dynamo fans got a free nights stay at the Frisco Graybar Hilton for being massive douchebags. Apparently there was some gang related spray paint "tagging" and a one man attempted pitch invasion. Since Frisco is a pretty nice town, for Texas that is, chances are these guys won't be getting the Louima treatment they so richly deserve. Apparently DynamoFan are the new MLS superfans because they managed to hotwire 3 of those Mexican tour buses and bring a few wannabe hoolies up to the game. I wonder if they're going to hold a bus for the guys in jail?
RedBull 0 - 1 Columbus Crew - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Have the RedBulls lost focus, or is the curse of CFKA Metrostars slowly rising from the Swamp to bring Arena and company back down from the high flying first few weeks of the season?
New England Revolution 0 - 2 CD Chivas USA - More HAHAHAHAHAHA
Christine Nubla... mmm... mmm... mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!
80LMoyWD00U
Not since the days of sideline reporting by Veronica Paysee or Lorrie Fair have I thought about...er...nevermind. Nice touch on the glasses, sugar. Me Likee.
What? Oh yeah, here's your annual Revolution slump. There's no real way to predict when or where it's going to happen, only that it will. Without Taylor Twellman and on the road, the Revs just aren't worth talking about. Matt Reis gets lit up by Mykael Galindo on a sure fire GOTW winner and a Jesse Marsch strike out of nowhere. Firefans watching the game had to be crying, seeing two of their former greats combine for the eventual game winning goal.
Sunday's Games
Colorado 0 - 0 Chicago
Major League Soccer is poorer for this game having occurred. OH! MY! GOD! You can't actually ask people to pay for crap like that. The two hours I wasted watching that felt like when I was a child having to sit through Lawerence Welk and Hee Haw back to back on Sunday evenings. I literally have no words to adequately confer how poor this game was. This game would be the one that an rockribbed europosing MLS hater could point to that MLS is conference level or below. The Korean U-20 squad would have run both of these teams put together, off the field. 11 vs 22, Korea would have won by 3. It's hard to say what effect, if any, the firing of Dave Sarachan had on this team as they squandered every possession after about the 10th minute with hospital ball passing at best and an inability to string more than two passes together at any time during the game.
The only thing that saved Chicago from another embarrassing loss was Colorado's finishing that would have been inadequate for a YMCA kids team. Colorado rarely threatened other than a late game barrage with a tremendous save by Matt Pickens and a shot off the bar near the end.
It's going to be difficult for Dennis Hamlett to show if he can coach this team, based on what he's been left with after several years of poor drafts, slow to develop young players, veterans who have fallen far below the status of starters and foreign/returning national team player signings that have failed to deliver. In short, the cupboard is far from empty, it's just stocked with cans of crap.
Toronto 1 - 1 Kansas City
Thankfully, the Chicago/Colorado game was so toxic that it actually blinded me until just after the finish of the 1-1 draw, however with the Kansas City audio feed, I estimate there were less than 8,000 people at the game. Kansas City should be ashamed for allowing Toronto to gain a point on US soil with Dichio providing the equalizer to Michael Harrington's goal for Kansas City.
Copa and U20 Predictions
Paraguay 1 - 2 US
Poland 0 - 1 US
MM10S
Was that too harsh? The Dutch Bastard? Even though Guus Hiddink has been gone from Korea for the better part of 5 years, it's pretty evident the impact he had on their development system. You could have put orange jerseys on those kids and the only way you could have told them from the Dutch were their Shoyu Weenie mullets.
Tom, I thought you Dutch guys, especially the one's from Ajax were supposed to be real big on attacking soccer and whatnot? Apparently, you've spent too much time in the US coaching club or you tried to create a team with 4 d-mids and 4 defenders by spiking their water with stolen DNA from Richie Williams, Chris Armas, Jeff Agoos and Celo Balboa?
And how did you manage to hide Altidore and Adu in plain open sight like that? The rest of their team couldn't even find them. If only you had been around in the 40's, Anne Freakin' Frank would still be alive. Be sure to get the Romulans cloaking device back before dinner. Who did they leave in charge of it? Sub-Commander Carrot Top? God knows it couldn't have been some pointy-eared honey that Spock had to seduce.
Seriously, how is it that you continually get hired for this gig? Do you and Sigi the Hutt just swap off when you're between MLS coaching gigs? Does that mean Dave Sarachan and the soon to be canned Fernando Clavijo will get a shot at it in a few weeks when this squad you lumped together flames out? Or is it that no one else wants it? Maybe if you get canned, they'll pull all the youth teams under Piotr Nowak and let him kick people in the ass until they learn how to pass to people in the same colored jerseys.
But enough about your stupidity, the game between Korea Republic and the US finished 1-1, and when you read that Danny Szetela was the lone goalscorer for the US, you know it was a garbage game. Full credit to Danny though, it was a well finished header and put him at 1B to goalkeeper Chris Seitz's 1A performance for Man of the Match. Most of the US fans are going to cry about the El Salvadoran ref, who was abysmal, biased, horrible, stupid & did I mention abysmal, but the sad fact is that the US were played off of the field last night and were lucky to get a point out of the game. The Koreans had to feel like a tank just ran over their sister or something after a game where their finishing made Real Salt Lake look like the 1998 Galaxy. Hopefully the Poles will be still recovering from the hookers and blow than their fans hopefully showered on them for beating Brazil while a man down for most of the game, because, if they're on, we might as well not even show up for the Brazil game.
MLS Week 13 - Soccer Riot - Houston Style
Dynamo Houston 0 - 0 FC Dallas - Copa del Popgun - Round 2
Nothing really worth noting in this one other than Houston couldn't score on a makeshift Dallas back line and a few of the Dynamo fans got a free nights stay at the Frisco Graybar Hilton for being massive douchebags. Apparently there was some gang related spray paint "tagging" and a one man attempted pitch invasion. Since Frisco is a pretty nice town, for Texas that is, chances are these guys won't be getting the Louima treatment they so richly deserve. Apparently DynamoFan are the new MLS superfans because they managed to hotwire 3 of those Mexican tour buses and bring a few wannabe hoolies up to the game. I wonder if they're going to hold a bus for the guys in jail?
RedBull 0 - 1 Columbus Crew - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Have the RedBulls lost focus, or is the curse of CFKA Metrostars slowly rising from the Swamp to bring Arena and company back down from the high flying first few weeks of the season?
New England Revolution 0 - 2 CD Chivas USA - More HAHAHAHAHAHA
Christine Nubla... mmm... mmm... mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!
80LMoyWD00U
Not since the days of sideline reporting by Veronica Paysee or Lorrie Fair have I thought about...er...nevermind. Nice touch on the glasses, sugar. Me Likee.
What? Oh yeah, here's your annual Revolution slump. There's no real way to predict when or where it's going to happen, only that it will. Without Taylor Twellman and on the road, the Revs just aren't worth talking about. Matt Reis gets lit up by Mykael Galindo on a sure fire GOTW winner and a Jesse Marsch strike out of nowhere. Firefans watching the game had to be crying, seeing two of their former greats combine for the eventual game winning goal.
Sunday's Games
Colorado 0 - 0 Chicago
Major League Soccer is poorer for this game having occurred. OH! MY! GOD! You can't actually ask people to pay for crap like that. The two hours I wasted watching that felt like when I was a child having to sit through Lawerence Welk and Hee Haw back to back on Sunday evenings. I literally have no words to adequately confer how poor this game was. This game would be the one that an rockribbed europosing MLS hater could point to that MLS is conference level or below. The Korean U-20 squad would have run both of these teams put together, off the field. 11 vs 22, Korea would have won by 3. It's hard to say what effect, if any, the firing of Dave Sarachan had on this team as they squandered every possession after about the 10th minute with hospital ball passing at best and an inability to string more than two passes together at any time during the game.
The only thing that saved Chicago from another embarrassing loss was Colorado's finishing that would have been inadequate for a YMCA kids team. Colorado rarely threatened other than a late game barrage with a tremendous save by Matt Pickens and a shot off the bar near the end.
It's going to be difficult for Dennis Hamlett to show if he can coach this team, based on what he's been left with after several years of poor drafts, slow to develop young players, veterans who have fallen far below the status of starters and foreign/returning national team player signings that have failed to deliver. In short, the cupboard is far from empty, it's just stocked with cans of crap.
Toronto 1 - 1 Kansas City
Thankfully, the Chicago/Colorado game was so toxic that it actually blinded me until just after the finish of the 1-1 draw, however with the Kansas City audio feed, I estimate there were less than 8,000 people at the game. Kansas City should be ashamed for allowing Toronto to gain a point on US soil with Dichio providing the equalizer to Michael Harrington's goal for Kansas City.
Copa and U20 Predictions
Paraguay 1 - 2 US
Poland 0 - 1 US
MM10S