Dumb American questions

[speedy808]

OK, so forgive me for my deplorable Yankee ignorance, but I need answers on several questions that have long gone unanswered for me.

1) What's the deal with parading little kids onto the pitch before every match?

2) Why is derby pronounced "darby" and not "dirby"?

3) Explain the scoring system in cricket. I only have a day, so give me the condensed version.

4) What's your version of a 7-11? I've never seen one in England.

I have more, but I'll save them for later.

[norwaytips]

Ok Speedy. I'm sure that Stomper will be on here soon. He is used to dumb American questions, but I'll try to help.

1. We don't parade little kids....Oh you mean the mascots. It's a great honour to be selected, or it used to be. Now they charge the kid's parents a small fortune for the honour.

2. It's what the people of Derby call it. The UK has a tremendous vatiety of accents and dialects. Much greater than in the US. In the same way Warwick is Warick, or Worrick and Leicestershire is Lestersheer. I could go on for hours, but you will get the point when I explain that GHOTI is pronounced FISH. Or can be. GH makes an F sound, as in rough. O makes an I sound, as in women. TI makes a SH sound, as in reception.
Anyway, the language is English, so we decide.:p

3. The batsmen score runs. There is an innings of 10 wickets. When a batsman is out, that is one wicket, so if he scored: with his partner...20 runs, then the score is 20 for 1....This goes on until 10 batsman are out, or they can 'declare' If they get 650 for 5 wickets, they may think that's enough. I can't go into tactics with you, but it's a very simple system really. ( You just need an IQ over 150 to understand it)

4, There isn't one. We have 7-11 in Norway, but it ain't in Britain, although there are loads of 24-7 food stores and supermarkets.

Over to Stomper........... But, why do you lot call a dinner suit a tux, a bowler hat- a darby and say yer-all, when speaking to one person, as in where ye'awl from?........Watch the Ricky Lake show for good English. :D

[west_ham]

or they can 'declare' If they get 650 for 5 wickets, they may think that's enough.
Who can declare? The batsman? That's a bit silly. That's the equivalent of West Ham going in at half time 1-0 up and say 'end the game, we've scored enough to win'!! :D

I assume this only applies to the team who bat first? What if the second team get 651 for 10? Do they win and the first team are left kicking themselves for not scoring 2 more runs, even though they lost fewer wickets?

Who am I to talk though, I only got 140 in my last IQ test.:D

BTW what on earth is a 7-11?

[ballard45]

The definition of Cricket

You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out.

When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.

When a man goes out to go
in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out.

When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those
who are not out, that is the end of the game!
Simple! ... » :D

[TheresaWHUFC]

The definition of Cricket

You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out.

When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.

When a man goes out to go
in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out.

When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those
who are not out, that is the end of the game!
Simple! ... » :D


...unless of course it rains, then the match ends in a draw.

That's the bit that convinces me it's a very silly game indeed :D

[west_ham]

The definition of Cricket

You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out.

When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.

When a man goes out to go
in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out.

When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those
who are not out, that is the end of the game!
Simple! ... » :D
Ahh right...why didn't norway just say that in the first place!!:p

[norwaytips]

T. I am ashamed of you girl.:eek: (I've sent you a message)

West Ham. See, I told you 150. 10 short I'm afraid. Yes they would have won, but they were also 'all out' Only 10 wickets can be taken, as the 11th man would have nobody as a batting partner.:p

Cricket is a wonderful game, but one has to be extremely intelligent to appreciate it. :D ...............Cue Stomper.......

[west_ham]

So would the game have stopped when they scored the 651st run, hence their final score would be 651-9?

[norwaytips]

Yes, they'd have won: unless it was a two innings game..........You sir are starting tpo take the p1ss, but I don't care.:p

Nobody with an IQ of 140 would live in Peterlee.

[TheresaWHUFC]

T. I am ashamed of you girl.:eek:


There's no need to be ashamed NT, after all I do have an excuse...


Cricket is a wonderful game, but one has to be extremely intelligent to appreciate it.


There ya go ;)

[Batcave Brigade]

Taiwan has the most 7-11's per square mile in the world. FACT!

[hammermolder]

OK, so forgive me for my deplorable Yankee ignorance, but I need answers on several questions that have long gone unanswered for me.

1) What's the deal with parading little kids onto the pitch before every match?

2) Why is derby pronounced "darby" and not "dirby"?

3) Explain the scoring system in cricket. I only have a day, so give me the condensed version.

4) What's your version of a 7-11? I've never seen one in England.

I have more, but I'll save them for later.
1. SO DAD CAN BOAST DOWN THE PUB 2.WE SPEAK ENGLISH 3.HAVE 15 PINTS OF LARGER AND WAKE UP, IT'S OVER.4.INDIAN CORNER SHOP!!

[Footstomper]

OK, so forgive me for my deplorable Yankee ignorance, but I need answers on several questions that have long gone unanswered for me.

1) What's the deal with parading little kids onto the pitch before every match?

Answered

2) Why is derby pronounced "darby" and not "dirby"?

The same reason Alnwick is Annik, Plaistow is Plarsto, and Woolfardisworthy is (frankly I cant remember: over to you Norway). And never ask for wor-cest-er-shire sauce its woosta

3) Explain the scoring system in cricket. I only have a day, so give me the condensed version.

Its like baseball only longer, flatter and with a BA

4) What's your version of a 7-11? I've never seen one in England.

Numerous small shops owned by a chap called Patel staffed by his wife, his children and his curiously moustachioed mother (I dont know who this woman is, but she has no discernable body shape, no teeth, chews curious nuts and is behind the counter of all these shops) open 24 hours a day 365 days a year.
Apart from that there are 24 hour petrol stations patronized by murderers, villains and Eddy Izzard

I have more, but I'll save them for later.
Hope that helps clear things up

[Sachin]

Over to Stomper........... But, why do you lot call a dinner suit a tux, a bowler hat- a darby and say yer-all, when speaking to one person, as in where ye'awl from?........Watch the Ricky Lake show for good English. :D

Because the first place where a dinner suit was worn in the US was the Tuxedo Club in New York.

It's a regional contraction of "you-all" (the plural you). Other parts of the US say "yinz" or "younz". All of which can be singular or plural depending on the context.

Ah yes, the US and England ... two countries divided by a common language.

[west_ham]

Yes, they'd have won: unless it was a two innings game..........You sir are starting tpo take the p1ss, but I don't care.

Nobody with an IQ of 140 would live in Peterlee.
I reckon there are no rules to cricket, just a secret code amongst cricket fans to pretend you know the rules when really they are made up as you go. That way all the protagonists can walk around pretending to be intelligent by claiming they understand!!:rolleyes: All it take is to dispense a few statistics using words no-one has ever heard of to explain rules which make no sense.:D

And steady there with the Peterlee comments. There are plenty of violent chavs round here I could pay to come over your house and prove you wrong!!:D

[Footstomper]

I reckon there are no rules to cricket, just a secret code amongst cricket fans to pretend you know the rules when really they are made up as you go. That way all the protagonists can walk around pretending to be intelligent by claiming they understand!!:rolleyes: All it take is to dispense a few statistics using words no-one has ever heard of to explain rules which make no sense.:D



Mornington Crescent!:D

[Sachin]

I reckon there are no rules to cricket, just a secret code amongst cricket fans to pretend you know the rules when really they are made up as you go. That way all the protagonists can walk around pretending to be intelligent by claiming they understand!!:rolleyes: All it take is to dispense a few statistics using words no-one has ever heard of to explain rules which make no sense.:D


Please, if you can't understand the difference between mid-off and silly point, that's your own damn fault.

[TheMobyDick]

Please, if you can't understand the difference between mid-off and silly point, that's your own damn fault.

actually it is just an excuse for a day out drinking and chatting with other people.You can ignore what is happening on the pitch for the most part.

[Footstomper]

actually it is just an excuse for a day out drinking and chatting with other people.You can ignore what is happening on the pitch for the most part.

You need an excuse????? As I said, just like baseball

[speedy808]

So who ran the corner shops before the Indians arrived? And when did curry start to become an English staple?

By the way, in America, our version of the Indian corner shop is the Korean grocer.

Speaking of which, when you say "asian," you usually mean someone with roots in the Indian subcontinent. How would you refer to someone who possibly looks Chinese, for example?

Stateside, Asian could mean Chinese, Filipino, Thai, Cambodian, Japanese or anyone with roots in all of asia EXCEPT the Indian subcontinent. In which case, you'd probably refer to them by specific origin, if possible: Indian, Pakistani, Bengali, etc.