Thanks Joe Cannon! Jerk! - LA/Dallas Recap [R]

[Mr. Warmth]

http://fc.dallas.mlsnet.com/images/2007/04/13/56d9ASEx.jpg
Carlos Ruiz scores past Joe Cannon. (Kevork Djansezian/AP)

FCD stomps mudhole in LA, Walks Dry...

I'd like to take this opportunity to personally thank you Joe Cannon for screwing all three of my fantasy teams this week with your performance against FC Dallas that resembled some of the great boxing matches of yesteryear such as Tyson v. Spinks and Hagler v. A 6 month old baby with pinkeye. Of particular note was your attempted save on Frankencooper's blast that can only be described as "statuesque". At least "try" you goofball. How much did you pay Wynalda to call you the "best goalkeeper in MLS"? At this point, Wynalda calling any keeper "the best goalkeeper in the...", should immediately cause that teams coach/manager to scratch the object of Eric's praise for something that isn't going to get blasted worse than a marksman's target sheet. (See K. Keller v. Czech Republic) Like I dunno, a fake tree from the Galaxy's reception area.

Previewing this match, I was of the opinion that the skill of Frankencooper & Ruiz would get two past you, Joe. I was just under the assumption that you weren't going to make it easy and at least give up those goals on rebounds after iFantastico! saves. I also felt that Shaka Hislop would give up enough rebounds or make stupid decisions to allow LA to even the score and he did his job in that regard, however LA's anemic attack couldn't finish any of the balls that cheap opportunities that he gave them and had to settle for the consolation of an outstanding headed goal from Robbie Findley. Also, every other MLS team can take note, Landon Donovan's freekicks are roughly as dangerous as as a basket of kittens. Or maybe he was just trying to injure the FCD players by aiming at their junk. (Does that make LD a "junkgazer"?) Maybe Yallop and Bob Bradley, if he remains National Team coach through the summer tournaments, will say "thanks, but no thanks, LD" when he wants to step over the ball.

Frankencooper Monster Escapes,
Villagers form mob...

http://bp0.blogger.com/_yxROJtWD0Sg/Rh-HxP__6-I/AAAAAAAAAC4/Hfeqsfk2BsU/s320/FrankenCooper.jpg (http://bp0.blogger.com/_yxROJtWD0Sg/Rh-HxP__6-I/AAAAAAAAAC4/Hfeqsfk2BsU/s1600-h/FrankenCooper.jpg)

Hopefully, my inclusion of Kenny Frankencooper on all 3 of my fantasy teams will be enough to offset Bazooka Joe's sloppy keeping. If Cooper and Ruiz can keep up even half the pace that either of them is scoring at, it's pretty much a given that they will run away with the Western Conference if not the Supporter's Shield (Not sponsored by Pontiac, because MLS doesn't want a crappy brand like Pontiac associated with one of it's trophies) with their ability to get on the end of service from the Dallas midfield. And on another note, lets toss a bone to the Dallas midfield that pretty much eliminated Landon Donovan and Kyle "420" Martino as credible threats after the first 15 minutes. Dallas newcomer and former Great White pyro-roadie Juan Carlos Toja, along with his fellow midfielders, provided a midfield that not only frustrated LA's attack, but provided ample offensive opportunities to Nunez, Frankencooper and Ruiz as they tested Cannon and the LA backline at will.

Up next for LA is a two week hiatus to figure out how to get the funny little ball in the great big net before they play their SuperClassico rivals, Chivas USA and Stonewall Guzan, while FC Dallas gets the Rapids at the Dick on Sunday the 22nd.


Other MLS news:

Chivas USA/Preki sign Merlin (http://www.dailybreeze.com/sports/articles/7008362.html): Doesn't Preki know he's supposed to be signing Mexican/Americans and not Frenchmen with "enchanted" surnames? The Wizards should file some sort of protest to appease their Harry Potter re-enactor fanbase.

Wizards sign Argentinian Playmaker (http://www.kansascity.com/159/story/68906.html): I think we're all going to miss Gansler's Bunkerball if Marinelli has overcome his injuries and can play up to his pedigree.

And the rest of the daily news round-up @ BigSoccer.com (http://www.bigsoccer.com/forum/showthread.php?t=517754)

[WarrenWallace]

This is a great blog.
http://mondaymorning10shirt.blogspot.com/

Thank you for my morning reading.

[Jasonma]

If I thought you were serious, I'd question you for blaming the goalkeeper on a PK.

[onefineesq]

If I thought you were serious, I'd question you for blaming the goalkeeper on a PK. When they showed the view from overhead, Cannon appeared to be about 6 feet off the line when the shot was taken. I would have hoped that the ref would have had the guts to call a retake if it had been saved ........ but somehow i doubt he would.

[Mr. Warmth]

If I thought you were serious, I'd question you for blaming the goalkeeper on a PK.

Not so much on the PK as the Cooper goal where he made zero effort.

[onefineesq]

Not so much on the PK as the Cooper goal where he made zero effort. He had no chance at that. None. The free kick was sizzled in, and the finish was smoked. Plasticman wouldn't have saved that. His defense let him down.

[Mr. Warmth]

He had no chance at that. None. The free kick was sizzled in, and the finish was smoked. Plasticman wouldn't have saved that. His defense let him down.

Disagree. When did Nate Jaqua become a center back?

Cannon stood there rather than coming out to even attempt to intercept it.

[JonfromVegas]

When did Bigsoccer become "The Onion" of soccer sites?

[texgator]

[IMG]
while FC Dallas gets the Rapids at the Dick on Sunday the 22nd.

Umm...@ RBNY on Sunday and then the Rapids at Pizza Hut Park on the 22nd.

[garbaggio]

Disagree. When did Nate Jaqua become a center back?

Cannon stood there rather than coming out to even attempt to intercept it.

I think you're wrong. Both Jaqua and Cannon were probably expecting the rookie defender (name escapes me) that just missed heading the ball away to make some kind of contact. Jaqua, to me, bears more responsibility since he should stay with his man Cooper til the play finishes. But Cannon could have wound up diving the wrong way if he anticipated Nunez (very nice cross, BTW) ball would wind up bouncing at Cooper's feet and the rookie defender headed it awry.

And Cooper did cheat off his line on the PK, but the unlucky rookie was the one called for the handball.

[Rapidsoccerfan]

I have to say one thing. All in all it was a great game. However, in my opinion, Ruiz is a big problem for soccer in general. Here is why. I have many friends that do not like soccer for one reason. They hate seeing all of the diving and screaming on the ground to get a call. He has to be the biggest drama queen in the league. The one time during the game that proves it was just at the end of the game. No one could miss it. He shields the ball, fine; he sheilds it again, fine; then he gets taken down. Now, I am not saying that it was not a call, I am saying that Ruiz falls, then cries like a little baby. When the call comes, then the trainer, then the ref. After all of that, oh he is fine, and gets up and walks off. That entire drama fest was uncalled for and not needed at all.

[crusader06]

Not so much on the PK as the Cooper goal where he made zero effort.

are you serious?

[WesMantooth]

Disagree. When did Nate Jaqua become a center back?

Cannon stood there rather than coming out to even attempt to intercept it.

Dude, that was a wicked free kick. It was hard, knuckling, and just above head level to the edge of the 6 yard box. That is the definition of a good free kick since it forces the keeper to make a decision while keeping the defense from positioning itself under it. Give credit where credit is due. If Cannon had tried to pick off that cross, he'd probably have ended up looking like an idiot the way that ball was moving.

The Cooper finish was spot on. If any keeper saves that, it's because he's in the right spot at the right time. Luck and reaction time determine the outcome of a bang-bang play like that.

I've seen more ridiculous analysis on BS, though, so maybe I should just shut my trap. A lengthy discussion of whether a Beasley goal was crap with touch by tough analysis comes to mind. Maybe this is too germane to suggest, but sometimes a goal is simply a goal.

[Mr. Warmth]

Maybe this is too germane to suggest, but sometimes a goal is simply a goal.

The God damned Germans got nothin' to do with it.


*Rep for whomever gets the movie reference

[Mr. Warmth]

Umm...@ RBNY on Sunday and then the Rapids at Pizza Hut Park on the 22nd.

Thanks for the correction, I knew they had another game, 3 in 8 days, but the browser search skipped it.


Or I was drunk

[Mr. Warmth]

Here is why. I have many friends that do not like soccer for one reason. They hate seeing all of the diving and screaming on the ground to get a call. He has to be the biggest drama queen in the league.

Do they hate the NBA because Karl Malone and Vlade Divac would throw themselves backwards across the court on the slight contact from a 6'-2" point guard?

Soccer is far from being the only sport that uses "simulation" to draw a call.

[Rapidsoccerfan]

That is true. None of my friends watch basketball at all. I can not stand basketball because of the players themselves.

[Old US Keeper]

The God damned Germans got nothin' to do with it.


*Rep for whomever gets the movie reference

Smokey & the Bandit.

Scoop of chocolate, scoop of vanilla…don't waste my time!
(name THAT movie reference!) ;)

As a keeper I also disagree with your assessment of Cannon. (but do I still get the rep? :rolleyes: )

[Mr. Warmth]

Smokey & the Bandit.

Repped.

Scoop of chocolate, scoop of vanilla…don't waste my time!
(name THAT movie reference!) ;)

City Slickers

As a keeper I also disagree with your assessment of Cannon. (but do I still get the rep? :rolleyes: )

Oh I think Cannon is grossly underrated as a goalkeeper in MLS. Him, Pickens and Guzan are all underrated. He just screwed my fantasy teams, and that is unforgivable.

[Puerto Rico]

all the mls goalies..suck...i cant think of one that is worth takin KASEY,AND HOWARDS SPOT..THEY ARE ALL OVERRATED IN A LEAGUE WHERE THEY DONT SCORE..ALL 13 GOALIES HAVE A 0.78 GOALS AGAINST AVERAGE BECAUSE KNOW ONE FROM THE MLS CAN PUT THE BALL AWAY..ONLY A COUPLE OF QUALTIY FORWARDS