My daughter is refing her first game

[EJDad]

My daughter (11) is refing her first games in the next week. She will do U 7-8 4 v 4. Any words of wisdom for her? She is a club (premier) player. She took the state introductory course.
Thanks in advance for any help you can give.

[whitehound]

My daughter (11) is refing her first games in the next week. She will do U 7-8 4 v 4. Any words of wisdom for her? She is a club (premier) player. She took the state introductory course.
Thanks in advance for any help you can give.

1) Have fun
2) Do your best.....but realize you will make mistakes.
3) Learn from them(2)
4) Be better then those around you.
5)Have fun.

[refmike]

Some of your decisions will be argued by coaches, parents and sometimes players.


If you are sure your decision was correct, stand by it.

If you think they are right and the ball has not been put in play. Stand up straight and tall and reverse your position. Give everyone time to get ready for the corrected restart and get on with the game.

If the ball has already been put in play say your are sorry but continue with the game.

If it affects the score, put the information on the game card.

Learn from the experience. If you never make the same mistake twice you will be the best referee in the world in a few years.

[NHRef]

At this age parents/coaches will be fairly vocal especially as kids get knocked down, remember we are talking 6 year olds. You will get three types of kids:

- kids who can actually play soccer and run with the ball
- kids who will pick daisies as much as pay attention to the game
- kids who just run over whoever has the ball.

It's the third group she should watch for. At this age ANYTIME there's a collision I SERIOUSLY suggest a call. However most will be "mob ball" with kids kicking at the ball and will naturally kick legs once in a while.

Also have her explain calls, the kids won't have a clue what hand signals mean so she should talk with them, joke, laugh, explain, she is as much a teacher with these kids as a ref.

Same goes for coaches, many coaches at this level just checked a box on the form that said "I am willing to help" they may know nothing about soccer.

Make her first impression a good one. Shirt tucked in, socks pulled up, looking professional and confident BEFORE she walks onto the field.

When she blows the whistle, BLOW IT. Don't be shy.

And most of all, HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!

[BC_Ref]

Make her first impression a good one. Shirt tucked in, socks pulled up, looking professional and confident BEFORE she walks onto the field.

When she blows the whistle, BLOW IT. Don't be shy.

And most of all, HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!

I'll echo all of these. Especially the whistling and having fun. Blow it harder than she thinks is necessary until she gets a feel for the whistle's sound. Wimpy isn't good. :)

Hope she enjoys herself. Only reason I'm still involved (u12 to U18). 2/3 of the games bring out smiles in me. More than makes up for the 1 in 10 ugly ones

[nsa]

Smile!

Remember, at the U8 level there is no such thing as a minor injury. Stop play and get mom out there 'cause mom is coming on the pitch anyways.

When in doubt, guess. Particularly when the scene looks like the whole lot just got hit by a giant bowling ball. Blow the whistle. Get the kids back on their feet. And point towards the furthest goal. :)

Another point in favour of guessing when you don't really know what to do; chances are 98% of the people there don't know what to do either. ;)

[macheath]

Yes on have fun, blow the whistle (when needed) so they can hear it, AND say whatever she is saying loud enough for everyone to hear. Also keep up with play. With little kids, its easy to stand in one spot, and still see what's going on. But it's a bad habit to get into as a ref.

Finally, if a coach continues to give her lip, rehearse what she is going to say if necessary. Easier to practice it than make it up on the spot. I was once appropriately put in my place by a young ref when I was coaching, when I lipped off (inappropriately) after a call. As he ran back up the field, he came past me, fixed me with a look, and said "That's enough, coach" then ran upfield with the play. Great authority, not emotional, couldn't have been more than 12 years old. I thought to myself "this kid will be a great ref," and apologized to him after the game in front of my team.

[Stinky Shinguards]

My daughter (11) is refing her first games in the next week. She will do U 7-8 4 v 4. Any words of wisdom for her? She is a club (premier) player. She took the state introductory course.
Thanks in advance for any help you can give.

Command presence- look professional, be confident. Don't be afraid to explain the rules to the U-7/8's- why you called them for pushing. Keep proper time but don't just be a timekeeper, let your whistle be heard. Good luck, have fun!

[LoewenBoy]

My daughter (11) is refing her first games in the next week. She will do U 7-8 4 v 4. Any words of wisdom for her? She is a club (premier) player. She took the state introductory course.
Thanks in advance for any help you can give.
If you search here there was a recent thread on advice to new referees (do I smell a sticky?:D ). There was some excellent advice there.

[Gary V]

I presume you will be accompanying your daughter to the field (unless it's right around the corner and she can walk). Remember that it's her game, not yours. No matter what happens, you are just a spectator. The only reason for you to interfere is to protect her in a rare occurance of physical abuse. She can talk to you at halftime - if SHE desires, not you - and get advice from you - if SHE asks. Don't be upset if she totally ignores you once she gets out of the car. That shows her independence - and also the sometimes-annoying trait of kids that age to act as if their parents don't exist.

As far as the game goes, remind her that there's no reason for someone of her age to be afraid of 6 and 7 year olds. She will see what she sees, make the calls that she makes, hopefully in a confident manner. The best scenario is if the only people who know this is her first game are you and her.

[EJDad]

Thanks for all of the great advice- both for her and for me. I showed this to my daughter and she was excited (well, her first reaction was "Dad, you BLOG???!!!) Please keep the advice coming and I will let you know how it went.

[dadman]

My daughter (11) is refing her first games in the next week. She will do U 7-8 4 v 4. Any words of wisdom for her? She is a club (premier) player. She took the state introductory course.
Thanks in advance for any help you can give.
So? How did it go?

Inquiring minds want to know... ;)

[EJDad]

Fields were closed due to weather. She is scheduled to do an intown U-9 girls game (6 v6 ) this weekend. Any last minute advice?

I will keep you posted

[LoewenBoy]

Fields were closed due to weather. She is scheduled to do an intown U-9 girls game (6 v6 ) this weekend. Any last minute advice?

I will keep you posted
Be confident, have fun! Let me make her mistakes and learn from them. Make sure she knows any deivations from the LOTG for that age group (i.e., all kicks are indirect, no PKs, etc.) if that applies. Local rules are different everywhere which is why being a ref is hard...too many different little rule changes based on age or association.

I had a dad of a ref at my U8 game last week. He had is daughter come up after the match and ask the coaches for 3 things she could work on. He just observed and let her do her games, did not talk to her at all until afterwards.

[blech]

I presume you will be accompanying your daughter to the field (unless it's right around the corner and she can walk). Remember that it's her game, not yours. No matter what happens, you are just a spectator. The only reason for you to interfere is to protect her in a rare occurance of physical abuse. She can talk to you at halftime - if SHE desires, not you - and get advice from you - if SHE asks. Don't be upset if she totally ignores you once she gets out of the car. That shows her independence - and also the sometimes-annoying trait of kids that age to act as if their parents don't exist.

As far as the game goes, remind her that there's no reason for someone of her age to be afraid of 6 and 7 year olds. She will see what she sees, make the calls that she makes, hopefully in a confident manner. The best scenario is if the only people who know this is her first game are you and her.

I think the key things for her have been said (blow whistle loudly, look and be confident, think some things out in advance, have fun, etc). If you add all of them to everything she studied for her class, her head may already be swimming, so no more for her from me! Just like a practice with a team at this age level, better to be focused and add concepts with each practice rather than try to master everything on day one.

Hopefully it all goes smoothly, but she should definitely keep in mind that she is going to make some mistakes along the way, and the advice about learning from them is very true. More advice for after the first mistakes as opposed to handling the first game itself, but it definitely gets easier everytime you do it. She will likely find that with each additional game that she does she will get more comfortable making the calls and evaluating the plays, and will learn what positions give her the best view and what positions cause problems, and other little things like that. The main point is not to get hung up in all of that right now. Just get out there and get some some experience.

[EJDad]

Rained out again!

[dadman]

Rained out again!
Well, that stinks. I hope she caught the opening games over the weekend and studied the refs. :)

[EJDad]

She finally got to do her game. I thought she did very well. They have a mentorship program so there was a young woman there ( @15 with 5 years exprerience) who helped her through. She was fantastic and was a great help to my daughter.The kids were very inexperienced (1st game of the season for them and for many the first season with GKS and throw ins. Last year they played 4 v 4 to PUGG goals)
She looked very "professional" and did not appear as nervous as I knew she was. There was very little pressure (ie screaming parents etc) which was a good thing. She needed to make one or to foul calls but the majority was for the ball out of play.
She needed to blow the whistle with a little more conviction and not use her arms to point direction until she was sure (if she was not sure which way it was she would sort of semi-point as she made up her mind). These are things that I observed but the mentor pointed out.
I was very proud of her.
Two interesting things:
1) in the game the gks, after making a save, would either throw it or more often , put the ball down and step back, treating it like a goal kick. My daughter tried to explain this as the game was going on but, as both teams respected this (the other team dutifully backed up and let her kick the ball), and the kids were just more confusd by her explanation, she let it go on. She did go up to the coaches and explain how it worked to them so they would not be shocked when someone ran in a kicked the ball in the net next game!
2) After the game I asked her if she had had fun. She said it was more like she had survived! She did say she was excited to do it again and I could tell she was proud of herself or having done it.

[mikejwjr]

Kudos to your daughter on her first game. Glad to hear about the mentor program. Sounds like everything went well. I hope the coaches appreciated her explaination about the goal keepers method of putting the ball back into play. This will hopefully save some other ref down the road from receiving grief from those coaches. I wish her well in her refereeing and play futures.

[dadman]

Thank you for sharing, and not overprotecting, either. As a parent, I know you know there's that fine line with a son or daughter where you can keep an eye on her/him and watch them stretch their wings without hovering. Sounds like the mentor is a terrific find and can say the things you'd be tempted to say, but now don't have to. ;)

Let's hope the weather's turned for the batter and she can do this every week now.