"Kiss my ass, I'm off for vacation" Thread

[GringoTex]

Bob, it's eight days, seven nights of freeloading off the countrymen's legendary hospitality in beautiful, coffee-plantationed EL SALVADOR!

You and a guest will consume insane amounts of Suprema, vodka, and endangered sea turtle while frolicking on Playa Espino and Lago Ilopango!

Have raw oysters spoon-fed to you by a sixteen year old bra-less beach vixen who can't even spell her name!

For kicks, ask a local to mow an acre-sized section of grass on a steep hill with a machete, and pay him only $5!

Wave to la policia as they flag you over for driving 120 mph- because they only have bicycles!

Enjoy massages at $7 per hour and ask for la prima especial!

And of course, participate in that favorite party game of the Salvadorian oligarchy: pin the marxism on Archbishop Romero!

[fiddlestick]

Gringo-

How much is "Esposas por Correo" charging for their tours nowadays?

[GringoTex]

Originally posted by Mike Segroves
1) Bring me back somthing


You got it.


2) Who's watching the Cows or can I just drive down and cowjack me a steer ?

Frankie, Miles, J.E., Wayne and Reba (no- these aren't made-up names) are armed and read for ya, Mike.

[GringoTex]

Originally posted by fiddlestick
Gringo-
How much is "Esposas por Correo" charging for their tours nowadays?

35 colones last time I checked. But with El Salvador's dollarization last year, four sticky bills will do the same trick.

[fiddlestick]

Originally posted by GringoTex


35 colones last time I checked. But with El Salvador's dollarization last year, four sticky bills will do the same trick.

I'm so there. Smack a bra-less 16 year old beach vixen on the ass and tell her fiddlestick sentcha and I'll be coming down next year for her sister.

[GringoTex]

Originally posted by fiddlestick


I'm so there. Smack a bra-less 16 year old beach vixen on the ass and tell her fiddlestick sentcha and I'll be coming down next year for her sister.

You don't mean her older sister, do ya? You better re-read that "bra-less" part.

[fiddlestick]

Originally posted by GringoTex


You don't mean her older sister, do ya? You better re-read that "bra-less" part.

Younger, great.
Slightly older, just as good.
Point was, I don't want your friggin' Salvadorian sloppy seconds.

[sinner78]

Originally posted by GringoTex
Bob, it's eight days, seven nights of freeloading off the countrymen's legendary hospitality in beautiful, coffee-plantationed EL SALVADOR!

You and a guest will consume insane amounts of Suprema, vodka, and endangered sea turtle while frolicking on Playa Espino and Lago Ilopango!

Have raw oysters spoon-fed to you by a sixteen year old bra-less beach vixen who can't even spell her name!

For kicks, ask a local to mow an acre-sized section of grass on a steep hill with a machete, and pay him only $5!

Wave to la policia as they flag you over for driving 120 mph- because they only have bicycles!

Enjoy massages at $7 per hour and ask for la prima especial!

And of course, participate in that favorite party game of the Salvadorian oligarchy: pin the marxism on Archbishop Romero!


have a good vacation ,jeffrey ....eerrrr I mean Gringotex.
I'll keep an lookout for your collection of human skulls while you;re away.

[Own Goal Hat-Trick]

Originally posted by GringoTex
Wave to la policia as they flag you over for driving 120 mph- because they only have bicycles!


i definatley need to take a road trip there...

[fiddlestick]

So how was the trip?
Turtle soup?
Nubile natives?
Curious minds want to know.

[GringoTex]

Originally posted by fiddlestick
So how was the trip?
Turtle soup?
Nubile natives?
Curious minds want to know.

An 86-year-old man drank me under the table after lecturing me on how my wife was becoming too Americanized. I tried to kick his ass at some point but I think I missed.

[fiddlestick]

....picturing that scene from "Raiders," except in Latin America and not Nepal of course.

[GringoTex]

And then I was actually warned by la policia for riding a horse up and down the beach while firing off one of those $10 sawed-off shotguns that the guard at the local tienda rented me. I swear, that whole country's going to pot.

[Own Goal Hat-Trick]

Originally posted by GringoTex
And then I was actually warned by la policia for riding a horse up and down the beach while firing off one of those $10 sawed-off shotguns that the guard at the local tienda rented me. I swear, that whole country's going to pot.

the mental picture of this is priceless.

[English_Gent]

yeah I know