Player Management

[schmuckatelli]

As a matter of player management, how much talking with/to/at the players is good or useful? I know some refs who only speak when they give throw in direction or goal kick or free kick ("Direct, going that way"). Others seem to fill the air with a constant patter ("Arms down guys, well done, unlucky, fair challenge, advantage-- play on...") Example: yesterday the U14 boys I coach had the second variety, and it's mostly good, but his chatter really gets in the way. One of my players complained to the CR about something the ref said and got a yellow card for his trouble, so obviously that's not the way to go. How do I officially get the message across that the ref's a nice guy, but he talks too much?

[IASocFan]

Originally posted by schmuckatelli
... One of my players complained to the CR about something the ref said and got a yellow card for his trouble, so obviously that's not the way to go. How do I officially get the message across that the ref's a nice guy, but he talks too much?

This doesn't makes sense since the CR is the Center Referree who carries/uses the cards. If the CR and AR are managing the game, deal with it. Complaining about it probably sounded like dissent - either the way it was worded or an overly sensitive ref. With 14 year old boys, this could easily be the case. If the refs are chatting about something non-game management, then suggest that are distracting you.

[schmuckatelli]

Sorry if I didn't express myself very well... what I meant was that the CR was the chatty one, and that my player was upset by what he said and complained to him (CR) about it.

Specifically, we play a pretty big guy at forward. He attracts lot of attention from opposing defenders. Like most strikers, he also attracts shoves and nudges (most of which bounce off), but when he shoves and nudges back, people tend to go flying -- it's all about physics, mass, etc. Refs normally will not call guys hanging all over the big fella, and they normally call him. When my guy complains about this inequity yesterday, the CR tells him it's because he's bulky. My guy takes it the wrong way ("Coach, the ref said I'm fat!"). Admittedly, he's being a little oversensitive, but I feel the CR should keep his mouth shut on that point.

For what it's worth, I'm a certified referee, and I have ref'd at this level before, so I'm not just some A'hole coach blowing off steam. I'm genuinely interested in entering the feedback system (if there is one) to get the word to the CR that he might consider a different means of player management.

[nsa]

As a matter of player management, how much talking with/to/at the players is good or useful?When my guy complains about this inequity yesterday, the CR tells him it's because he's bulky. My guy takes it the wrong way ("Coach, the ref said I'm fat!").It boils down to effective communication. What are the tools given to us as referees to communicate with the players?

Officially, we have the whistle, hand signals, flag signals, and cards.

Unofficially we have everything from appearance, body language, facial expressions, words, tone of voice, etc.

Consider words and tone of voice. We do not all come from the same background. A joke in my culture may be an insult in yours. Also, as the above example shows, words have multiple meanings. Players hear the words and they mean something different to him/her.

Every referee is different. What works for one may not work for another. (I had to shave my beard because it scared G12 and G14 players if I wasn't smiling all the time. And it hurt too much to keep a silly grin on my face. ;) )

If you know the official and have worked with him before, try to explain to him exactly what you've said here. First, ask him what he is looking for when he talks to the players. He'll likely say something like, "Letting them know I'm there. Trying to diffuse a tense situation. Just joking with them to keep them loose." Let him know that the desired effect is not occuring.

If you don't know the official, then drop a note to the league referee director or assignor. Careful how you prase it because you may see that referee again. :)

[jc508]

Originally posted by nsa
If you know the official and have worked with him before, try to explain to him exactly what you've said here. First, ask him what he is looking for when he talks to the players. He'll likely say something like, "Letting them know I'm there. Trying to diffuse a tense situation. Just joking with them to keep them loose." Let him know that the desired effect is not occuring.

If you don't know the official, then drop a note to the league referee director or assignor. Careful how you prase it because you may see that referee again. :)

I like NSA's comments, and I would only add the following:
If you know the referee, let him know that, based on what your players have told you, the amount of chatter is possibly distracting to the players' efforts to concentrate.

Secondly, if you know another ref who may be friends or an associate of this gregarious ref, let the other ref know about the situation so that he may be able to drop a suggestion tactfully to the problem ref.

Don't let it distract you from having fun on the pitch.

[IASocFan]

After rereading your posts, I am confused about your concern.

Are you complaining about constant chatter, or are you complaining that the CR used the word "bulky" to answer your forward's question about why he was getting whistled and the smaller defenders weren't, and that your player translated "bulky" as "fat"?

[Alberto]

I'm a big advocate of good verbal communications. Clear and concise verbal direction along with hand signals, body language and the use of the whistle is what game management are about. Anything to aid is beneficial. Clearly, there are times that too much is said. I believe in being direct and to the point. Don't waste time with long answers. Focus a players attention on what needs to be corrected.

[pkCrouse]

I think schmuckatelli's point is (or should be) that generally speaking, if you try to referee teenage boys while running a constant dialogue or verbal commentary, it is an invitation to disaster. He's asking for the politically correct way to explain this to his fellow referee. I have a very good friend who suffers from the same problem when officiating teenage boys. He raised two girls but has had little interaction with teenage boys in his personal life. Here's how I approached the subject with him:

Oftentimes, you can blow the whistle and indicate direction for a foul and hear nothing from the guilty player. However, say one word (e.g. "trip", "push", "handling") and by nature an adolescent male feels compelled to respond the same way he would to a critical parent. They just can't help themselves and have to fire back with something like "that wasn't a trip" or "I used my chest". It doesn't matter what the context - they are at the age where they think they need to win every mouth battle. They also tend to be hyper-sensative to anything that sounds like an insult. (In schmuckatelli's scenario, I have no doubt that although the referee used the word "bulky", the player's ego clearly heard "fat".) There are many times and places where it is appropriate for the referee to rely upon the spoken word as one of his tools for game management. However, a little goes a long way, and often too far with 14 year old boys.

[nsa]

"Everyday language is a part of the human organism and is no less complicated than it."

Ludwig Wittgenstein

[schmuckatelli]

Originally posted by IASocFan
After rereading your posts, I am confused about your concern.

Are you complaining about constant chatter, or are you complaining that the CR used the word "bulky" to answer your forward's question about why he was getting whistled and the smaller defenders weren't, and that your player translated "bulky" as "fat"?
Yes, and yes. The second, in this case stemmed from the first.

And thanks to you all for all the input. It's certainly been educational. I find that reading this board makes me a better referee and a better coach as well.

[kevbrunton]

I have had this exact same situation happen. A fellow referee that I have worked with dozens of times talks a LOT during the game. Part of it, most people appreciate as he fairly loudly announces his calls -- so all the players, coaches and spectators all know exactly what he's calling. However, he also talks to the players during play about keeping arms down, not holding, etc. -- kind of instructional type stuff. One of his favorites is to announce when a ball is in the air for everyone to go straight up.

A couple years ago after working a U17 boys games with him where he was the CR and I was AR1, one of the coaches that knows me well and had never seen this referee before came over to me well after the game. He had the same complaint that Schmuckatelli has -- the amount of talking, particularly DURING play, was distracting to the boys -- they were complaining about it to the coach. As it happened, that CR and I were working together again the next day so I brought it up with him and we talked about it. He decided that maybe at the older levels it was distracting and he's adjusted his style a little. He still verbalizes a lot about his calls and things, but this has received good feedback. He adjusted the rest of his talking.

[Statesman]

Here is the advice I offer from my years of service, mainly learned through trial and error:

1) Teenagers are teenagers and, as noted before, hate being told what and what not to do. The referee gains nothing by volunteering the reason for his call. Make the call, indicate direction firmly with a knowing glance at the guilty player and move on. If players ask "What's the call, ref?" keep the answer to a short one-word statement such as "tripping" or "handling," said in a very quick and matter-of-fact way, and don't show any indication there is room for questioning.

2) ALWAYS make sure the line is established very clearly as to what is allowed. First offense call the foul. Second offense call the foul and give the player a warning, something like "You've pushed off your opponent twice now, I don't want to see any more of it." Make sure to get alongside the player, deliver the warning, then move on before he has a chance to really reply. He might scoff but he gets the message. The message should be delivered in a very specific and direct manner.

3) Humor and encouragement work wonders when used properly. The referee is not a comedian and should refrain from excessive blather. However if you see a player that is not happy with how he is playing or frustrated with his team you might talk to him. Offer words such as "Hey man, hang in there, keep the level of play up" or "Don't get so down mate, just keep at it." One of my favorite lines for a player shanking the ball over the crossbar: "You trying to hit a bird with that one?" It's not particularly humorous but said in the right way helps relieve tension -- the fact the ref comes over and says a line like that shows concern for the players, something they appreciate whether outwardly evident or not. When delivering comments like this make sure they are said with genuine emotion and concern -- if you fake it you are better off saying nothing.

4) Excessive talking annoys players beyond belief. I've worked with referees who describe every call and every decision in detail: "I have an illegal charge call against the red team, blue direct kick ... ball to the left a little, yes right there that's fine, ok wait for the whistle, wall let's move it back a few yards, come back to me, ok that's a good spot, blue are you ready to kick? ok let's go then TWEEET." Imagine that output of vocalization after every single call. Horrid.

5) It doesn't hurt to say "nice shot" or "good try", or "great play" when appropriate. Most players will hear the comment and not respond, but they do take it to heart. Short, precise positive feedback helps greatly.

Remember, the goal is to alter the behavior of the player to keep him a positive influence on the game. Annoyed or frustrated players are not a positive influence -- negative emotions spread like a disease over the field unless dealt with quickly and directly.

In the case of the blathering referee the best solution is to address it with him. Most kids have no idea how to do so appropriately however so they will need your advice. Suggest they say something along the line of "Hey ref, we appreciate your desire to keep the game flowing smooth and enjoyable but we'd be better off without quite so many comments." If he gives a caution after a comment like that or persists in his unprofessional manner then drop a line with your District Youth Referee Administrator (DYRA). There's not a lot else you can do at that point, it may take a little doing before the bloke gets a clue.